Almost everyone knows at least one energy vampire. It could be the guy in the next cubicle who drones on about how much he hates his job. Or maybe it's your neighbor, who is always needing a hand but is never around to lend one. It could even be a close friend or family member, such as the sister who constantly wants to know when you're going to settle down.
“If you always feel drained when you are around -- or after you leave -- a particular person, or if you find yourself feeling like you need to defend, justify or explain yourself to them then you are probably with a person that you are either quite reactive to or is an energy vampire, so to speak,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates.
Energy vampires are well known for:
- Intruding on your life and crossing spoken, and unspoken, boundaries
- Being drama queens (and kings)
- Complaining often and feeling like they’re a “victim”
- Focusing on the negative
- Blaming others (and not taking responsibility) for their unhappiness
- Being critical
- Controlling the conversation and needing to be the center of attention
The danger in being around energy vampires comes in their ability to suck the positive energy right out of you. This is why you feel mentally, and probably physically, tired after meeting with one. If you constantly surround yourself with this type of draining personality, it’s entirely possible that their negativity will rub off on you as well.
However, though it’s typically easy to identify an energy vampire, it’s not so easy to walk away from one. After all, you don’t want to appear rude, impolite or insensitive. So what’s a conscientious person to do?
'The best thing to do is to use The Sedona Methodto let go of wanting to defend, justify or explain yourself and honor your own inner power and knowingness,' Dwoskin says.
If you still feel drained when dealing with this person, the next step may be ending the relationship.
“If you have a choice and the draining persists, remember it is also OK to leave,” Dwoskin says. “Avoid forcing yourself to stay in a relationship or situation that is not supportive of you and your releasing.”