Codependency is a term that was first developed to describe people in relationships with a drug or alcohol addict. Nowadays, however, codependent has come to include a number of unhealthy behaviors that people learn, often in childhood, as a result of being in a family with emotional troubles.
While some level of codependency, or relying on other people, is indeed healthy, people with codependent personalities take this dependence too far and often end up in one-sided, emotionally harmful relationships.
Signs of a Codependent Personality
According to Daniel Hall-Flavin, M.D., a Mayo Clinic psychiatrist, 'The central feature of codependency is an unhealthy dependence on relationships, usually in an attempt to avoid the feeling of abandonment.'
Signs that you may be codependent, according to Hall-Flavin, include:
- Controlling behavior
- Mistrust of others
- Avoidance of feelings
- Excessive caretaking behavior
- Hypervigilance (a heightened awareness for potential threat or danger)
The problem with having a codependent is that you often live your life based on other people's needs and desires, often valuing other's opinions over your own and even compromising your own values and integrity to avoid rejection.
People with codependent personalities also:
- Downplay their own feelings, to the point that they may not even know how they feel
- Have trouble making decisions
- Do not feel they're lovable
- Put their own interests and hobbies aside to please others
- Are excessively loyal (even staying in abusive relationships)
- Do not ask others to meet their needs
In short, codependent people live their life according to the needs of other people, never really having a chance to be independent or achieve their dreams -- or even feel that they're worthy of it.
'There are many disadvantages to having a codependent personality, to living your life wanting to be controlled by how others think, feel and act,' says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. 'When you live your life from a reaction' frame of mind, you feel and act as though you are the victim and that is how life treats you.'
What to Do if You Have a Codependent Personality
If you see patterns of your own behavior described above, you may have a codependent personality. You can break free of your compulsion to put other's needs ahead of your own by learning the scientifically proven Sedona Method.
The Method is a simple system that shows you how to release the underlying negative emotions the feeling that your very self-worth is dependent on the approval of others causing you to be codependent. In its place you will feel free to live your life in a way that's pleasing to you. Dwoskin expands:
'You are not your personality. You have a personality that can be changed by releasing. As you let go of wanting to be controlled by others, you'll find yourself acting more independently and with more confidence. You will also take charge of your own life and live in greater harmony with those around you.'
On top of experiencing a new found ability to think and act for yourself, those who use The Sedona Method often find that their increased confidence to look out for themselves causes those around them to respect, love and offer their approval naturally.
With The Sedona Method you will learn to have what you truly deserve: a life filled with people who care about you and the ability to achieve whatever it is YOU desire!