Nearly 60 percent of Americans still think about their teenage sweetheart, according to a New York Times poll. For you, it may not be a teenage sweetheart but perhaps another old flame that still makes your heart beat faster. If so, you are not alone.
With the advent of the Internet, what once occurred only by a rare, serendipitous occasion is now possible in a matter of minutes. According to one of the most popular reunion Web sites, Classmates.com, about 39 percent of its members -- or nearly 15 million people -- had used the Internet to find an old flame.
Your interest in your old flame may not be this obvious, or desired, however. While there are many success stories of reunited first loves, simply holding on to past loves can often keep you from moving forward in your life, or -- if you are already in a happy relationship may sabotage the life you have now.
“Being in love with an ex is never the problem,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and Director of Training of Sedona Training Associates. “What is the problem is still being attached to them or wanting something from them after the relationship has ended.”
How do you know if you're still attached?
“You can tell that you are still holding on if you continually miss them, think about them all the time, fantasize about them or generally obsess over them,” Dwoskin says.
The key to putting your past relationship into the proper perspective -- where you can learn from the experience and even still care for the person without harboring any feelings of regret, sadness, longing or envy -- is to take control of your emotions using The Sedona Method.
The Sedona Method teaches you how to let go of negative emotions so that you are free to feel confident, happy and content with your life.
By doing this, you can decide to release the feelings that may be holding you back from finding a new, more fulfilling relationship, or from devoting the needed attention to the relationship you’re already in.
“If you’re still holding on to your old flame, this can be corrected easily if you are willing to let go of the feelings of attachment and holding on or wanting anything from the person,” Dwoskin says. “This frees you to love them from afar and move on to what is right for you.”