Pushover No More! How to Stop Letting Yourself Get Pushed Around (While Still Remaining a Nice Person)
People who describe themselves as 'pushovers' often do so with a smile on their face, pointing out something like, 'Yeah, I'm going to head up the neighborhood bake sale again this year what can I say, I'm a pushover.'
Being pushed around, of course, can take on many forms. From your boss giving you extra assignments while your coworkers leave early to letting someone cut in front of you in line at the grocery store. It can also occur when you continually say 'yes' to things you'd rather not do, or buy things from friends that you really don't need.
Almost always, however, people allow themselves to be pushed around because they are trying to be nice, to protect a relationship or to avoid offending someone. The problem is that people who are pushovers often end up feeling resentful and angry, and may, deep-down, struggle with low self-esteem that keeps them from asserting themselves.
How to Stop Being a Pushover
In order to be more assertive and look out for yourself while still being a nice person it's necessary to let go of the underlying feelings of insecurity and doubt that are contributing to the issue. It is these underlying feelings, after all, that may make you feel you must agree with everything around you, or perhaps you won't be accepted.
This, of course, is not the case, and The Sedona Method is an essential tool to help you release these unresolved emotions and behavior patterns.
Remember, also, that you can be assertive and strong, and still be kind and likeable.
'You can stand strong in your own knowingness without being pushy or rude,' says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. 'Most of the time if we are pushing or being rude it is because of our own insecurity and self-doubt. Allow yourself to let that go with The Sedona Method, then you can say yes or no with certainty while standing strong in your own light.'
On an external level, you can stop being pushed around by expressing your opinions to others, being firm in your decisions and speaking out when you perceive something to be unfair.
However, being a strong person is not just about external factors. Even more so, it is your inner strength that will convey your confidence.
'Being strong is not always about what you say or do externally but rather is about your own inner strength,' Dwoskin says.
'When you let go of any feelings of doubt, and uncover your own inner strength, you'll say or do the right thing without having to necessarily be any more outspoken then you already are. This is because people read each other not just based on the externals, but based on what you are feeling inside. If you are feeling strong inside that will likely be enough to allow things to go your way on the outside.'