You would think that after middle school and high school -- and certainly after college -- that the social segregation between who is popular and who is not would dissipate. Surely, as adults, we can all coexist and get along on a level playing field … or can we?
Over 85 percent of adult workers say their office is divided into cliques, according to a Health.com survey. These cliques that you have surely seen as well (and maybe belong to yourself) are easy to spot: they go out to lunch, get drinks after work and always seem to be laughing at something you don't understand.
Not surprisingly, over half of the survey respondents viewed these cliques as “not helpful,” and another 66 percent said they sometimes felt excluded by the in crowd.
And, feeling left out can feel pretty lousy.
"Many cliques are toxic," says Erika Karres, EdD, Assistant Professor of Education at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. "Their only purpose is to be anti-productive and anti-supportive."
If you are one of those people who feels left out by the in-crowd, whether at work, social gatherings or even by your own family, a simple change in your outlook can make all the difference.
This change is one that takes your current mindset -- one of “I feel bad that I’m not popular” -- and turns it into “I feel great about myself and my life, regardless of what crowd I belong to.”
You can facilitate this change simply by using the scientifically proven Sedona Method to release your negative thoughts about yourself, along with your desire to fit in.
“Remember that most people -- even those who are in the in crowd -- have some insecurity, and everyone feels separate even when they are with others,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and Director of Training of Sedona Training Associates. “Knowing that you are not odd or alone immediately takes some of the sting away.”
When you get this notion into your head -- that everyone has some insecurity, but you can feel good regardless of other's reactions to you -- you will find that you can be comfortable, happy and confident in every social and workplace setting.
“The other thing that also helps is to let go of wanting to fit in and instead allow yourself to be exactly as you are,” Dwoskin says. “By allowing yourself to love and honor yourself as you are, you bring that confidence to your social situations. Then, whether or not you are part of the in crowd, you feel more relaxed and confident being who you are.”