Being rejected by a potential employer, your coworkers or, worse, your boss, can take its toll on you emotionally (but only if you let it, as we'll describe later). It can take on many forms:
- Not feeling like your ideas are heard
- Getting turned down for a raise or promotion
- Not being part of the "in" crowd in your office
- Not getting offered a job you've applied for
All of these emotional blows can make you question your self-worth and your abilities, and even make you start to consider finding another job or a new career path.
But listen up.
Even some of the most famous, most successful people in the world have been rejected before. You've heard of George Orwell, Sylvia Plath and J.K. Rowling, for instance? All of them had books turned down by various publishers before finding one that saw their potential. This is only the tip of the iceberg. According to the book Famous Failures by Joey Green:
- Albert Einstein failed the entrance exams to the Swiss Polytechnic Institute.
- J. K. Rowling lived on welfare in a mice-infested apartment.
- Muhammad Ali ranked 376th in his high school class, and there were only 391 students.
- Julia Roberts auditioned for All My Children but didn't get the part.
- Dick Cheney flunked out of Yale University, not once but twice!
Feeling better yet?
You see, the thing about rejection is that it's only a negative thing if you allow it to be. Sure, it feels lousy at first, but underneath that rejection is an opportunity that can change you for the better.
How to Turn Rejection Into Opportunity
1. Ask for an Explanation. If you're turned down for a job or a raise, calmly and coolly ask the rejecter why. The reasons may have nothing to do with you (such as budget issues) or, if they do, you'll be able to use this information to improve for next time.
2. Resist Taking it Personally."It is important to realize that whatever someone says or does that appears to cause you pain is often -- if not always -- not personal," says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates.
So if you're feeling like the rejection is a personal affront to your character, let it go. Learning to let go is actually a simple process that is engrained in all of us. However, most up us need to relearn the powerful act of letting go, and The Sedona Method is a scientifically proven tool to help you do just that.
3. Let go of Wanting to Change What Happened. If you're wishing that you were the center of attention in your office, or envying the person who got your promotion, you are only making matters worse.
"Let go of wanting to change what the others are doing or not doing, and allow yourself to let go of the feeling of being rejected," Dwoskin says.
"You cannot feel others rejecting you, you can only feel your rejecting them back. So let go of wanting to reject them back, and then notice how you relax and lose interest in what they think. You will also find that they begin treat you with much more love and respect," he continues.
4. Take Back Control. Being rejected can make you feel like a victim, but you have been in control all along. The more you learn to let go of your hurt feelings using The Sedona Method, the more you will realize that only you have the power to determine how you feel. So rather than letting a rejection get you down, use the failure as a stepping stone to your future success.