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Common Emotional Mistakes for Parents & Students to Avoid When Choosing a College

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  • Common Emotional Mistakes for Parents & Students to Avoid When Choosing a College

    Choosing a college is a rite of passage for many young adults. It represents newfound independence, a home-away-from-home for the next four years, and let us not forget a solid education -- and the promise for a future filled with success. But amid your visions of the 'perfect' college, you must sort out the real from the emotional. True, people make decisions based on emotions all the time, everyday in fact. But these decisions are not always the wisest, and when it comes to choosing a college, you need to have your full faculties available.

    And when we say 'full faculties,' we mean following your heart -- or your inner knowingness -- instead of your mind.

    Though it may sound counterintuitive, following your intuition can only happen once you let go of your emotions (which typically control your mind).

    “There are many emotions that come up for both parents and young adults when colleges are being explored,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and Director of Training of Sedona Training Associates. “Parents and students often fear what is new and unexpected, including separation from each other. We also can react to schools based on memories and expectations rather than on the school’s true merits or lack thereof.”

    Mistakes You May Make if You Let Your Emotions Choose Your College.

    Here are some common examples of errors in judgment that may happen if you make an emotional decision:

    1. Selecting a college without visiting it, simply because you’ve heard of it.
    2. Believing that a college is right for you just because the name of it is familiar.
    3. Going to a college solely because your parents, siblings, girlfriend or boyfriend, or friends went there (or will be going there).
    4. Accepting that a college is “too expensive” without looking into it for yourself (including exploring financial aid and scholarship options).
    5. Assuming you “can’t get into” a top college before you’ve even tried.
    6. Choosing a college based on its reputation for being a “party school.”
    7. Excluding colleges based on fears of the unknown (a new geographic location or an unfamiliar name, for instance).
    8. Choosing a college based on expectations that are not your own (such as those of society, your teachers or your parents).

    Do This Before Choosing Your College

    In order to avoid making emotional mistakes like those above, you and your parents should release your emotional reactions to the entire process using The Sedona Method.

    “When you release you can easily tell the difference between intuition and emotions because emotions disappear and intuition simply gets quieter and clearer,” Dwoskin says.

    Releasing can take place during the entire college search process -- from the very beginning planning stages through the final visits, applications and choosing which college to ultimately attend.

    And because students often make this decision with their parents by their side, it’s important to work together.

    “The best way to choose a college is to release and communicate until everyone finds mutuality,” Dwoskin says. “The more it is a mutual process where everyone is honoring each other’s point of view and being responsible for their own feelings and perceptions, the more likely it is for there to be a positive outcome.”
    Purchase Letting Go Movie on DVD
    Purchase Beyond Letting Go
    Purchase The Sedona Method Course
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