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Understanding and Dealing Most Effectively with a Passive-Aggressive Person

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  • Understanding and Dealing Most Effectively with a Passive-Aggressive Person

    People who are passive-aggressive appear on the outside to agree and get along with others. In reality, however, they passively resist them, and become increasingly hostile and angry in the process. At one time, passive-aggressive disorder was a recognized psychiatric diagnosis, and although it is no longer, living or dealing with someone who displays these tendencies can cause serious emotional stress.

    If you suspect someone in your life is passive-aggressive, here is a list of characteristics they may exhibit:
    • Procrastination
    • Intentional inefficiency
    • Avoiding responsibility by claiming forgetfulness
    • Complaining
    • Blaming others
    • Resentment
    • Sullenness
    • Fear of authority
    • Resistance to suggestions from others
    • Unexpressed anger or hostility


    Because someone who is passive-aggressive is internally angry, but hides it on the outside, it can be very challenging to overcome in a relationship.

    “Being angry or being passive-aggressive are really one in the same,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and Director of Training of Sedona Training Associates. “The only difference is that someone who is willing to be openly angry is easier to deal with and is more out front. Someone who is passive-aggressive is often acting covertly to act out their resistance and anger -- and this makes it more difficult for them and others to deal with.”

    In fact, it’s possible for someone to be passive-aggressive and not even realize it.

    “They may not even be aware they are angry and simply acting out,” Dwoskin says.

    If you are in a relationship with someone who is always resisting your desires or needs in this way, you should decide whether the relationship is worth keeping. If you must deal with a passive-aggressive person at work or in another capacity, you should use The Sedona Method to let go of the anger it brings up inside of you. You should also draw up your own boundaries -- such as only meeting with them when absolutely necessary -- and not allow the person to cross them or draw you in to a fight.

    For those of you who feel YOU may be acting passive-aggressively, The Sedona Method can also help you to let go of your passive resistance and anger toward the people in your life.

    "The best way to deal with either anger or passive-aggressiveness is to treat it like any other feeling and let go of whatever feeling you are consciously aware of," Dwoskin says. "You should also let go of wanting to be right or get even. As you let go in this way, both anger and any associated passive-aggressive behaviors naturally drop away. You will feel much more loving and cooperative while at the same time be honoring what is right for you."
    Purchase Letting Go Movie on DVD http://www.lettinggo.tv/moviedvd/
    Purchase Beyond Letting Go http://www.lettinggo.tv/beyond-lettinggo/
    Purchase The Sedona Method Course http://www.sedona.com/transform
    Learn The Sedona Method in 2 hours. http://opti1.lettinggo.tv/smc-quickstudy/
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