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“Does He Love Me?" Why and How to Stop Obsessing Over It for Good

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  • “Does He Love Me?" Why and How to Stop Obsessing Over It for Good

    Only the universe knows how many daisies have been plucked of their petals in search of the answer to a sometimes elusive question: does he love me?

    If you´re wondering this right now it´s because of one of two things:

    1. He may not love you (and has given you signs to make you question his devotion)
    2. You are obsessing over a completely unfounded feeling, and may be sabotaging your relationship while you´re at it

    How can you know for sure which one applies to you? If you listen to your intuition you probably already know if your partner really loves you. Why, then, do so many of us continue to obsess over it?

    “When you wonder whether someone loves you you're simply wanting approval and wanting approval will never get it for you,“ points out Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates.

    In fact, the more you question whether he loves you, the more you are giving in to feelings of relationship insecurity. And insecurities of all kinds often stem not from reality but from fear -- fear of intimacy, fear of being rejected, fear of losing your identity. Worse still, this insecurity can manifest into relationship-sabotaging events like accusing your partner of infidelity, becoming codependent or being overly controlling. And all of these things can easily lead to a relationship breakdown.

    The more you wonder “Does he love me?” the more your mind will focus on your insecurities and create trouble in your relationship. At the same time, putting your focus on achieving love from an external source will not, ultimately, make you happy.

    “If you're wondering if someone loves you you're already looking in the wrong place,” Dwoskin says. “Ultimately it really doesn't matter if someone loves you or not; it is much more important for the health of your relationship and your own personal well-being that you love yourself -- or, if you want to go even deeper, recognize that you are the love that you seek in others.”

    Knowing this logically is one thing, but how can you get rid of that nagging question lingering in the back of your mind?

    “The best thing to do is to let go of wanting approval and allow yourself to love or approve of your partner exactly as they are,“ Dwoskin says. “By allowing yourself to love as opposed to trying to get loved you´ll find that this makes it much more likely for your partner to feel comfortable enough to express the love that they already feel for you.“

    “And even if they're not expressive,” he continues, “you'll find yourself feeling whole and complete within yourself, and not needing the external acknowledgment or validation. Then the more you feel self-sufficient within yourself, the more naturally you´ll realize that the love that you are is already all around you and within you.”

    The more that you let go of wanting or needing to be loved, the more you will feel yourself immersed in the love of your relationship, and the love that comes from inside yourself.

    The first step to getting to that place, though, is to release your desire for approval, your insecurity about your relationship, and your need to obsess about being loved. All of these emotions can be easily released using the scientifically proven Sedona Method -- an essential tool for every healthy relationship.

    If you´re new to The Sedona Method you can read more about it here. For those who are already immersed in the releasing process, simply continue to let go; you will find new found closeness, love and security in your relationship soon.
    Purchase Letting Go Movie on DVD
    Purchase Beyond Letting Go
    Purchase The Sedona Method Course
    Learn The Sedona Method in 2 hours.

  • #2
    I agree one must not turn over one's happiness to other people. Of course this raises the question why bother being in a loving relationship at all if all you need is love from within.


    • #3
      Interesting it gets lots of comments Yet its the experiential discovery thats key.
      If disidentify from the teaching of "I" (separation)....then resonate as love and the awareness of that... or awareness that gives life to all....cept something must have occurred to allow that chicken to hatch or egg to be there....haha !!.

      Maybe awareness just allows.... what is, to happen in any moment....and when a group of humans are together there is higher energy/frequency....especially if they are fully released humans....yet awareness is still apparent when past experiences may appear to cover it in humans....... it doesnt go any where so even if happiness seems gone, in any moment , with releasing its easy to come on back to that deeper truth of who you are and what is, and choose to be around greater happiness.....and for those who are fearful of any intimacy.......dissolving fear is always there even if it dont work out, or to have issues surface from past so they can be released and freedom hey ....lifes lookin pretty good eh...... thanks to The Sedona Method....and the happy community of releasing.... !!