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How to End the Frustration of Not Meeting ithe Ideal Mate Once and for All

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  • Kate
    replied
    Well what about this Solaris........there's wanting and needing, and basically spontaneous happening in any moment right here right now......."no" anything may be resistance or may not and beyond.........opening to what is happening or not happening in any moment is what is.........being that natural safe and harm freeness already born within........and being that which is love and the awareness of it right here right now ........

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    There is no need for a relationship, thus why ever enter one period. They would seem rather pointless.

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  • Coach Susan
    replied
    Jeremy,

    What you are does not and never did enter into any relationship, or need any relationship. When you realize yourself to be that, free of wanting, there's no question of relationship. All is simply Beingness, your own Self. The appearance of relationship, action and all the rest of it continues, but it is not experienced that way. It is known as simplicity, Oneness, Beingness. No wanting. No relationship.

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My question was really deeper. I was throwing it out to the community why even bother entering into any relationship when all we need is in ourselves. It seems to me that if we contain all we need within why interact without. So in the case of looking for a mate why even bother entering into a relationship with someone when you don't need anything from him/her (the without). It seems futile to me.

    As for seeking in general one still seeks in the form of goals. Lester stated you should set goals and release on them. You still focus on goals you just don't get upset when they don't happen fast enough. Eckhart Tolle also echos this as does Hale Dwoskin. Goals, which are a form of seeking, still should be set and "seeked" you simply remove the emotional component.

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  • Coach Susan
    replied
    Originally posted by solaris View Post
    I know this is an old post but (I have asked this in another thread) it begs the question if all you need is inside you why seek a relationship? It seems those two ideas conflict with each other. Since all you need is found inside there is NO need to find someone.
    That's correct. There's no need and no seeking.

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I know this is an old post but (I have asked this in another thread) it begs the question if all you need is inside you why seek a relationship? It seems those two ideas conflict with each other. Since all you need is found inside there is NO need to find someone.

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  • VictoriaMA
    replied
    Finding love . . . this is always an interesting topic! While I too would like to have that special man in my life, I have found that my attitude in this matter has somehow changed over the past 4 months since using the Method. I have been so busy working on my other goals that I have not been thinking of a partner. When I read Kris’ and Dan’s offerings it occurred to me that my “wanting” of a mate seams to have dissolved. I did not intentionally release on finding Mr. Right, I guess I just let go as I let go of so many other “wantings” I find that I no longer experience that lonesomeness that I once felt! . . .It has just gone and it is a freeing experience. I have been busy using the method which has now effortlessly lead me to Fung Shui my home, and it has been fun doing it. I recently got the attention of a guy that I would have considered “a winner” a year ago. However, I did notice that he is very similar to men of the past . . .he speaks of himself as he is his money, his title, his boat and all the “big boy toys”, this love of money was exactly the downfall of my marriage. I was able to identify that I attract, like a magnet, those men that apparently “have it all” Don’t get me wrong gentlemen, I do like nice things, but I am looking for something other than “things” in a man. I know the perfect man for me will be a “releaser” also. In the meantime, I’m getting on with me life.

    I have just purchased my ticket for the December seminar (25%off) and looking forward to meeting perceived others and the likeminded. I had to laugh at Tim’s comment to you Dan about you having the dilemma of having to choose between a redhead, brunette or blond . . .Tim, Dan can have all three in one) we girls have the prerogative of changing our hair colour when the mood comes over us)


    Love,
    Victoria

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  • Annrika James
    replied
    Hi Kris,

    Oftentimes, it can be wording the goal clearly and precisely that can be the most powerful, and being willing to let go of settling for less. In my case, having worded my goal "for a mutually loving and rewarding relationship with the perfect partner for me", I released until it was perfectly okay either way and actually let the whole desire go.

    What happened was that he was already in my life, we had meet at a SM workshop and had been friends for several years. I became increasingly aware of how much we had in common, how comfortable and fun we were together, and of like mind.
    The rest unfolded naturally!

    My loving partner and husband is Tim McCavitt (see above). Lester used to refer to us as "two of a kind!"

    "When you're totally released, the seemingly impossible becomes immediately possible." - Lester

    Love,
    Annie
    Last edited by Annrika James; 11-10-2010, 12:10 PM.

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  • happygirl
    replied
    Thanks to all for the suggestions on this thread! This is exactly what I came here to find today, as I'm a bundle of discouragement and anxiety over the wanting of a mate! I don't think I'm looking for someone to complete me, because I really do feel complete and happy with who I am - I'm just lonely! I want to be a part of a couple and all that that entails. And also, not sure where to draw the line with looking for someone.....I'm attending a speed dating event tonight - lol, and I'm also on match.com. Would it really be better to take myself out of these kind of venues until I get to hootlessness?? I have a feeling that it's my intense wanting that is holding it away from me, however, I have a hard time believing that it's possible to get to hootlessness on something that I want so much?? Does anyone have any examples of things that they released intense wanting on??

    Thanks,
    Kris

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  • Tim McCavitt
    replied
    Hi Marion,

    One area that we sometimes overlook regarding, well, everything is resistance. It's the stuff that keeps the "staus quo" in place. If you haven't already you may want to do a bit of letting go of resistance: "Could I let go of resisting having the perfect relationship?" and "Could I let go resisting not having the perfect relationship?" Try this a few times back and forth...

    All the best,
    Tim
    tim@esedona.net

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  • marionev
    replied
    Thank you. This was very timely for me.

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  • Tim McCavitt
    replied
    Hey Dan,
    The good news: all you have to do is release; keep letting go re. your perfect relationship, until there is [B]no wanting[B]...when the wanting is gone what "takes its place" is a feeling of having, completeness...you'll be coming from there...bringing that into a relationship, rather than looking to the relationship to provide/fulfill it!

    The bad news: you may be faced with having to make a decision...redhead, blonde or brunette??!!
    Have fun, and happy releasing!
    Tim

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  • Minja
    replied
    This is great!

    so if you find yourself meeting some people who are not right at first that is OK,” he says. “Your perfect partner is just a release away.”
    Last edited by Tim McCavitt; 09-19-2010, 11:51 PM.

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  • danerebor
    replied
    Lynne~

    Can you talk a little more about how your perfect relationship materialized? Did you set it as a goal and release on it or did you do something else?

    Thanks

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  • Persephone
    replied
    That's great. I assume this will help with lack of human contact in general. Sometimes it would be nice to share experiences. I guess I am already.

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