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Longing for an Ex? Here is What You Need to Know and Do to Confront and Overcome It

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  • Longing for an Ex? Here is What You Need to Know and Do to Confront and Overcome It

    It’s quite normal to look back at past relationships with rose-colored glasses. As time passes suddenly the arguments seem silly, the disagreements trivial. What your mind will tend to focus on are the good times you shared together, not the bad.

    So it’s not surprising that 62 percent of us would consider getting back together with an old flame, according to Psychology Today … but is this really a good idea?

    'It is often best to love your ex and let them go. Often we cling to past relationships hoping we can turn around, they'll have a change of heart or you'll be able to convince them that you are the right one for them. This holding pattern usually does a lot more harm than good,' says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. 'It prevents you from moving on with your life. And it also can sabotage whatever relationship you may still have with your ex partner.'

    This is not to say that reconciling with an ex is never the right choice, but if you're longing for an ex and seriously considering trying to reunite, you need to consider the following:

    1. Why do you want to reconcile? Is it because you truly want your ex back or simply because you're tired of dating?
    2. Why did you break up in the first place? If your partner was unfaithful, for instance, what makes you think it won’t happen again?
    3. Have you given yourself time to heal? After a breakup it's important to learn how to be comfortable alone, otherwise you may want to rekindle the romance for the wrong reasons.

    If you answer these questions and determine that you’re longing for your ex for all the right reasons, and your ex feels the same, you very well may want to give the relationship a second chance.

    But before you do use The Sedona Method to release all the feelings you have built up about the relationship -- the expectations, the 'water under the bridge,' the dreams and the resentments. If you let go and you still feel the same way, then go for it.

    On the other hand, if you feel that getting back together would simply cause you more suffering and grief, or if you're just having a hard time getting over the breakup, The Sedona Method can help you to move on with your life.

    “The best thing to do if you’re having a hard time getting over your ex is allow yourself to love yourself and love your partner, then set them free to pursue whatever it is that's right for them,” Dwoskin says. “By doing this you helped not just them but you. You will also find that this opens you to finding someone who is truly right for you now. Plus, you will find the more you try to hold onto anyone the less they want to be with you … so again bless them and set them free.”

    When you do this, you are setting not only your ex free but also yourself. Once your mind lets go, your actions will naturally gravitate toward the things that will make your life fulfilling now, either by yourself or with a new partner who is truly right for you.
    Purchase Letting Go Movie on DVD
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