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  • st49
    started a topic releasing attachment to someone

    releasing attachment to someone

    Hi
    I suffered a set back in a relationship with a girl I love that happened during October, 2010. And since then I've been struggling to let go of attachment to her. The girl now is engaged and somehow I can't let go of attachment to her and that hurts me a lot. We still talk as friends but thats kinda very very hard for me but some reason we have to talk as we're neighbors and good friends.

    I found this method on the internet and tried it and found a bit helpful but I feel like I'm kinda stuck or not using the method correctly. She's all over my mind and when that happens I feel very low, down, in pain etc.

    I welcome all these feelings and as myself can I let it go? Am I willing to? the answer comes no. When I ask why can't I, my heart says it is fear of losing her and this is where I get stuck. I don't know how to move on from here. Fear of losing her bites me. What should I do or what should I as myself to get rid of this fear and release all attachment to this fear and finally release all attachment to that girl.


    Please guide me.

    And I'm trying to use LOA to attract her back into my life because I have this strong intuition that she is made for me. But right now I want to let go off any attachment for her and let Universe give her to me.


    Please help me, I need it.

  • DelilahCertifiedSMCoach
    replied
    Yes, warrior!

    Noticing what's going on inside from the chin down is very helpful. It's not that we can't release or don't release through the head. We do. But it will be more apparent if you pay attention to what's going on from the chin down as much as you can. That's where you'll get the most obvious feedback about the release.

    Yes, it's best if you always answer honestly. You can and will have better releases if you do.

    Best,
    Delilah
    Last edited by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach; 04-08-2017, 05:19 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • warrior
    replied
    Originally posted by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach View Post
    Hi warrior!

    Great questions!

    In the triple welcoming, and in all of the processes, answering the questions is essentially the foundation for the release and also it informs you when the next question can be asked.

    Really important: YOu can have a great release no matter whether you get a yes or no for an answer. This is hard for folks to take in because it doesn't make sense to the logical mind but it is a fact. Answer the questions honestly and now how you wnat to answer them or how you think you should. If you get a no then just welcome the no.

    It is best if you can answer each question honestly and go through all the triple welcoming questions and then start again from the beginning. The reason why it's best to do it this way is that each time you go through the process you are peeling away layers. On the other hand, feel free to take your time or better yet, go at your own pace.

    In support of your freedom,
    Delilah
    Thanks for keep supporting

    So, what I guess is that after each part of a question I need to pass a little and notice inside if that thing arises inside of me I then see if I could welcome it, if it neither arises or I couldn't welcome it my answer will simply be "no". For example:

    "Could you also welcome how you try to let it go (.... No), any wanting to be free of it (.... No), wanting to fix or change it (.... No). And also any attachments or aversions to her (.... Yes). Any wanting oneness or separation? (.... No)"

    - - - Updated - - -

    Originally posted by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach View Post
    Hi warrior!

    Great questions!

    In the triple welcoming, and in all of the processes, answering the questions is essentially the foundation for the release and also it informs you when the next question can be asked.

    Really important: YOu can have a great release no matter whether you get a yes or no for an answer. This is hard for folks to take in because it doesn't make sense to the logical mind but it is a fact. Answer the questions honestly and now how you wnat to answer them or how you think you should. If you get a no then just welcome the no.

    It is best if you can answer each question honestly and go through all the triple welcoming questions and then start again from the beginning. The reason why it's best to do it this way is that each time you go through the process you are peeling away layers. On the other hand, feel free to take your time or better yet, go at your own pace.

    In support of your freedom,
    Delilah
    Thanks for keep supporting

    So, what I guess is that after each part of a question I need to pass a little and notice inside if that thing arises inside of me I then see if I could welcome it, if it neither arises or I couldn't welcome it my answer will simply be "no". For example:

    "Could you also welcome how you try to let it go (.... No), any wanting to be free of it (.... No), wanting to fix or change it (.... No). And also any attachments or aversions to her (.... Yes). Any wanting oneness or separation? (.... No)"

    Leave a comment:


  • DelilahCertifiedSMCoach
    replied
    Hi warrior!

    Great questions!

    In the triple welcoming, and in all of the processes, answering the questions is essentially the foundation for the release and also it informs you when the next question can be asked.

    Really important: YOu can have a great release no matter whether you get a yes or no for an answer. This is hard for folks to take in because it doesn't make sense to the logical mind but it is a fact. Answer the questions honestly and now how you wnat to answer them or how you think you should. If you get a no then just welcome the no.

    It is best if you can answer each question honestly and go through all the triple welcoming questions and then start again from the beginning. The reason why it's best to do it this way is that each time you go through the process you are peeling away layers. On the other hand, feel free to take your time or better yet, go at your own pace.

    In support of your freedom,
    Delilah
    Last edited by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach; 04-07-2017, 10:05 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • warrior
    replied
    Originally posted by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach View Post
    Hi warrior!

    Is there a possibility that you might be open to exploring what results you would like to have?

    Even if you know what happened with st49, you will still have the opportunity to explore your own situation through releasing. and discover your own results.

    Perhaps you are wanting to figure out what is possible for you? Lester used to say, "Don't believe a thing I say, take everything for checking." He didn't want anyone to put their faith blindly into releasing. He wanted folks to experience directly through real and actual personal experience, what it is like to explore situations in life through releasing.

    Have you been able to explore your experience through releasing at all? How has that unfolded for you? And would you like some support for releasing on this topic? This forum is designed to support folks and their releasing process. If you have any questions or thoughts to share please feel free to do that here.

    Best,
    Delilah
    I'm still learning about the SM. This subject is the biggest problem I'm facing in the last 2 years. I'm attached to some girl and was struggling in the friend-zone until lately she dumped me in a way that was not nice, and this hurts so much. Generally, If I would describe what life I'm living I could say "a continues nightmare".

    So I just started using Mr. Kagan questions and they seem so sweet, will see how freedom I'm going to get.

    In my first experiences with the SM I feel like I've to lay on my back to concentrate internally, but this also could make me lose my awareness so I try to keep my eyes open and the room let. Nevertheless, I think the process is going well.

    Right now, I wish to have some clarifications about the triple welcoming:
    Do I have to answer the questions with yes or no? Also, do I have to stay in each one of the three stages until I feel like I welcomed, or it's okay to go through all the questions and then repeat from the start?

    Leave a comment:


  • DelilahCertifiedSMCoach
    replied
    Hi warrior!

    Is there a possibility that you might be open to exploring what results you would like to have?

    Even if you know what happened with st49, you will still have the opportunity to explore your own situation through releasing. and discover your own results.

    Perhaps you are wanting to figure out what is possible for you? Lester used to say, "Don't believe a thing I say, take everything for checking." He didn't want anyone to put their faith blindly into releasing. He wanted folks to experience directly through real and actual personal experience, what it is like to explore situations in life through releasing.

    Have you been able to explore your experience through releasing at all? How has that unfolded for you? And would you like some support for releasing on this topic? This forum is designed to support folks and their releasing process. If you have any questions or thoughts to share please feel free to do that here.

    Best,
    Delilah

    - - - Updated - - -

    Hi warrior!

    Is there a possibility that you might be open to exploring what results you would like to have?

    Even if you know what happened with st49, you will still have the opportunity to explore your own situation through releasing. and discover your own results.

    Perhaps you are wanting to figure out what is possible for you? Lester used to say, "Don't believe a thing I say, take everything for checking." He didn't want anyone to put their faith blindly into releasing. He wanted folks to experience directly through real and actual personal experience, what it is like to explore situations in life through releasing.

    Have you been able to explore your experience through releasing at all? How has that unfolded for you? And would you like some support for releasing on this topic? This forum is designed to support folks and their releasing process. If you have any questions or thoughts to share please feel free to do that here.

    Best,
    Delilah

    Leave a comment:


  • warrior
    replied
    It's great that this thread was 6 years ago, so I think this problem is dead by now. However, I'm living the same situation right now and I wonder what results did Mr. st49 have?

    Leave a comment:


  • Jack
    replied
    st49, Good for you. Sometimes, it takes some time. Stay the course. As always, "as best you can", don't resist the mind/thoughts, observe and release. "Give peace a chance". Adios...

    Leave a comment:


  • st49
    replied
    @Jack

    Thanks for taking your time out Jack and I really felt much much better after reading your post. I agree with you on that but controlling this "monkey mind" can sometimes become difficult. I'm trying my best and everything that can help me.

    Why is it getting hard for me is that I just can't avoid contact with that girl as she's my neighbor. But I try my best to keep communication as minimum as possible. And yes I'm feeling a lot lot better today. Went out with my friends yesterday night had a great time. Shared my stories with my female friends and felt a lot better to know there are lot many ppl who care about me and love me. But I don't know why mind always think about from where we're not getting something. I practice Sedona method as soon as I feel a bit uneasy, low, anxiety comes up and it really makes me a bit lighter. I know it works and as I practice I know i'll get better and better and finally I'll release is permanently.

    Sometimes I feel like even after having so much knowledge of how to get over something or something that is not worth crying over after it has happened and we cannot change it. I thank GOD that what ever has happened with me has happened for a good cause. I've gained so much knowledge how our mind works, who am I, what are emotions, how to release them more than that I came across so many new friends over here all across the world. Yes, I'm thankful for that to GOD.

    Thanks Jack

    Leave a comment:


  • st49
    replied
    @ SophieHack

    Leave a comment:


  • Jack
    replied
    st49, Hope you're doing a little better today. Believe it or not, things do get better. As earnestly as you seem to be to put this behind you is a credit to you for seeking a healthier and freer way of being. And a less fearful way as well. It may seem that I was a bit hard on you in my previous post. I doubt it. You appear to be a pretty ballsy guy that has found himself in a situation that has finally reduced your resistance to examining your life and discovering the true being that you are. You might even one day soon be thanking your lady friend for assisting you along on this path of self discovery and freedom.
    As you've been learning, most people live their life out of a story made up in mind. As you've also been painfully aware, the mind is a dark and nasty place to be visiting or listening to on a regular basis. Probably, up until now, you weren't aware that there was a way that you could quiet the mind, and from awareness, "let go" of the stories and beliefs about yourself that have been held and believed for a long time. And I'll wager these are stories and beliefs you've been wanting to change for some time. Perhaps now you're miserable enough to give them up. We generally have to reach this point to wake up....And realize the dream (or more often the nightmare)our mind has furnished for us. So, good morning st49. Wakey, Wakey! It's time to rise and shine as they say. Time to choose...as always.

    It is human to grieve a loss, and you are entitled if she meant as much to you as you say. It has been my experience that a lot of the suffering comes from the stories we begin to make up about a loss such this. The "not good enough", "not worthy of", "not enough" stories that begin to go through our minds. Over and over. These stories feed our "feelings" of despair and loss of control. Now, this might not be happening with you, but if it is, the Sedona Method may very well be your answer to "releasing" yourself from the stories and beliefs behind a great deal of your suffering. Old and New.
    As best you can, persist with your practice of releasing. Be patient with yourself. Ask questions when needed. Follow the advice you've been given. Observe the thoughts that come up and release on the ones that especially cause feelings of despair. Welcome and allow the feelings of sadness but let them pass through. Avoid this girl as best you can till your heart and mind are more settled. Get out with friends and make new friends. Be kind to yourself in both thought and action. STAY OUT of the mind. Release as best you can. Learn more about the "Method". Eat well, exercise and rest. There is a great gift for you behind the veil of your suffering. A great purpose.

    Peace....

    Leave a comment:


  • SophieHack
    replied
    Just a cheer from me, st49! You really do well! Just your willingness to release it is something to throw confetti about!

    Sophie

    Leave a comment:


  • Kagan Bayraktaroglu
    replied
    Hello st49,

    After the third step where we ask that is this something personal to you, what to do next?

    Is it then we need to ask question like
    "Could I let go of this feeling"
    "Am I really willing to let go of this feeling"
    "When"
    Should I ask myself these questions after this?
    No. Triple welcoming is just welcoming everything. It has nothing to do with asking question and answering them.
    So what you do is this: Just keep it simple. Just welcome, there is no need to let go here.

    1. Just welcome the issue.
    2. Welcome any wanting to do something with or about the issue.
    3. Welcome any sense that the issue is personal or about you. (You don't have to ask that, Of course it feels personal. Just welcome that feeling)


    All the best.
    Kagan Bayraktaroglu

    Leave a comment:


  • st49
    replied
    @ jack

    I appreciate you replying back but I really dont know how to react on your reply. I would surely like to talk to you again although what you wrote in the beginning has hurt me, but then again I know it's the truth but it's hard to accept it. Anyhow I felt bad but not that much that I've been feeling lately.

    thanks

    Leave a comment:


  • Jack
    replied
    st49, You've suffered a loss. You've had your heart ripped out and you feel like you're in the darkest, deepest pit of despair imaginable. Right? Well, buck up buddy! There isn't a guy walking around that hasn't been where you are right now. And probably more than once. This is a good news/bad news situation you've found yourself in. You're already in the middle of the bad news; she's dumped you, and she's already moved on. Do I need to repeat that last sentence? She's du....yeah, I didn't think so. Now for a little of the good news. She dumped you and she's already moved on. Wanna know why? I know why, and it isn't for any of those bull shit reasons that keep popping up in your tortured, little, story-ridden mind. Nope! She dumped you before she ever met you...and I believe I can explain why I say that so you'll understand. I also believe when you understand you'll begin to heal and your pain will make some sense to you. I believe also that you'll discover that the help you've been so desperately asking for is already showing up. You should believe this as well.
    It's late. I have to be up at 5am, but I will talk more with you tomorrow if you'd like. It's always your choice. For now, at least two compassionate and concerned members of this community have offered you some suggestions and advice. As best you can...follow it. Don't struggle with it or try to reason it out. Keep it simple...simple is good for you right now. In addition to that, my advice would be that what ever you do, for the time "being", do not listen to any Country Western radio stations. Absolutely terrible for a "broken" heart.
    Get some rest. I am. You are not alone st49. Peace...
    Jack

    Leave a comment:

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