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Resistance to Action

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  • Resistance to Action

    I’m tired of people telling me what should I do, where should I go, how do I have to do my job!, which I’m not doing by the way, or at least the way I thought it was supposed to be done. But as everything, this have two sides, I don’t want people to tell me how and what to do, but I look, constantly, for answers outside so I want them to tell me what to do. Writing this I see I’m doing that here too. Looking outside for answers.

    Now I even feel guilty when I check my mail, and I see all this messages (I’ve been letting go (unsubscribing) most of them) letting me know how wrong I’ve been doing stuff, that I have to do or stop doing something in order to have more sales, more success, more love, more of everything I guess.

    After September’s call with Annie and Tim, I kept releasing on fear and resistance and of course, there was a lot of movement, there still is. But after that, I froze, again, I decided to just welcome whatever sensations where coming, I couldn’t find much energy to do more, so I kept letting the sensations of being depressed be here. And when I started feeling guilty because I haven’t been successful I kept simply welcoming the sensation, until it faded.
    In between I’ve been having moments of clarity, ideas of where to go, what to do, and then fear strikes again, and I let it be here. Everything is fine until it is time to “Take Action Steps”. It’s like an invisible wall between me and my will to go ahead. Taking action seems (in this moment to me) like having to climb a huge mountain without shoes.

    And now, I find myself angry, at myself for not doing what I supposed to do, angry at the Sedona method too, because I know I have to get up, and take action steps, and let go of my wanting to sell, wanting to earn money, but it seems so simple when I read it or hear it here, and I understand it, the wanting carries the lack inside, but I can’t find it in me to let it go!, it feels dangerous, and yes it is just a story, I know, but in this moment it seems huge. Or seemed so anyway

    This is not just ranting, it has huge gains inside too, but the post already seems like a whole chapter in a novel, one of the gains, is believe it or not, peace, I’ve been living all this so differently finding a lot of moments of calmness, and now that I mention it, acceptance in some of the twists my life took now.

    So I’ll keep releasing on:

    1- my resistance to take action,
    2- wanting to hide ,
    3- anger about “having” to take action
    4- how unfair it feels to have to start all over again, and after reading all this maybe
    5- The need to know what to do.

    And just relax in the process,

    Love

    Xio

  • #2
    Wow Xio!
    No you're not "just ranting", there's so much letting go and freedom here. So many imaginery barriers and walls dissolving; a lifetime of conditioning and wanting to be controlled / feeling controlled and wanting to push back; feeling the heaviness and stuckness and letting go. Now the suppressed anger and resentment arising and dissolving too.

    Excellent! So much courageousness here. You ARE taking action! Change is unfolding from the inside out and you're so much more open to wonderful possibilities and opportunities in your life. I know it feels a lot like "Pandora's Box" in the beginning but perseverence is the Key. It's perseverence which allows all that suppressed energy to now flow into constructive action.

    What a wonderfully powerful and inspiring post.

    Much love,
    Annie
    Annrika James Sedona Method Instructor
    www.sedonareleasingworldwide.com
    [email protected]

    Comment


    • #3
      So too the post "What a wonderfully powerful and inspiring post"
      by Annie !!!!
      Thanks both posts

      Comment


      • #4
        Thanks Annie and Kate,

        I´ve been slow to respond because I couldn´t find something coherent to say, my thoughts haven´t been very clear lately, and at the same I have less noise inside. I kind of miss my noise though I´m not really used to not analyzing every thought and image I get. But it feels good, I´ve been sleeping incredibly well.

        And thanks Annie, I was able to relax after reading your post, like breathing easier.

        I´ve been just trying to be aware of whatever is coming and letting it be for a moment, a lot of times I found it easy, some others it´s not that simple, but things have been looking …..different, I don´t know how to word it. What seemed to be urgent the last couple of weeks now appear to be somehow insignificant. The decisions I was so sure I had/have to make, are a bit blurry right now, the feeling that it has to be now or never is gone. They are alternatives glimpsing in the picture. I´ve found very liberating letting all those sensations be, without qualifying them good or bad, or suppressing them, just being aware. I was a champion at suppressing everything and being “nice” and disappearing in the process.

        I have a question though, I´ve been discovering things about some behaviors, beliefs and reactions, that I don´t like very much, and it is a bit difficult to welcome them. So I tried to let them go, and then I felt like a punch to the gut. So now do I welcome that sensation? I tried to let the whole story go!, but I still get that sensation
        So far, I haven´t taken action steps toward my work goals. The thought that I keep getting is “maybe you are just lazy”. It seems like a game now.

        But a very interesting one I say.

        Love

        Xio
        Last edited by Xio A; 10-23-2011, 10:32 AM.

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