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Does anyone have a good holistic release on being a victim / not being a victim?

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  • Does anyone have a good holistic release on being a victim / not being a victim?

    I'm trying to find some wording that might work well. Any suggestions would be really helpful!

    Thank you!!!


  • #2
    Hi Cameron,

    See if this is helpful:

    Can you allow yourself to feel the victim as much as do

    Can you allow yourself to feel the victor as best you can

    Also, ask if you are feeling controlled by the situation? If yes can you welcome feeling controlled? Oddly, underneath feeling controlled is often some wanting to be controlled. (Disregard if you can't relate to that...) If that is there for you then can you let go of wanting to be controlled?

    Good luck, let us know how things unfold,


    • #3
      Hi Delilah,

      Thank you for your response... this release was a little helpful, but I find myself almost constantly going back to the victim position in my mind and strongly resisting taking responsibility for my feelings and my life.

      Do you have any suggestions for this type of mental habit?

      Thanks again!



      • #4
        Hi Cameron,
        I’m not Delilah (obviously) but I do have some thoughts on what you’ve written that may be of use to you. Someone I know recently said that he realised that if there was a ‘should’ anywhere in what he planned to do then he wasn’t’ being honest with himself. I found this very helpful, and I’ve noticed lately how often I fool myself with subtle self-judgements.

        Notice that even the belief “I keep going back to the victim position” is that - a belief, story or judgement. These beliefs fool us into thinking we’re being self-aware, but as long as we are judging ourselves (or others) we are not free. How I have reacted to this sort of belief was to try to stop myself going back to that position and to push myself into a different way of reacting - which would then lead to feeling victimised and wanting to protect myself.

        But both actions are still part of the same pattern, the same push-pull that comes from not feeling good enough and thinking I need to change how I am. So instead of trying to control these supposedly negative patterns we think we see in ourselves, I am beginning to see that it’s much more effective to simply welcome them instead. For example I have struggled with the 5th way for so long - having glimpses when I seemed to ‘get’ it, and then that would disappear again. Yesterday realised that the trying to ‘get’ it was what made it feel so unsatisfactory to me, and instead I could just welcome how I felt. At that moment I felt separate, that there was a ‘me’ separate from everyone else. Welcoming that felt so, so peaceful and joyful. Feels so again now. I don’t need to come up with a story about whether I am one or 1,000,000, to feel that peace and joy. And I might get up from here and go to my kids and husband and feel separate to them, and I might forget all I’ve just written to you here. But I might not, and I will experience it again in another moment. That’s all we can ask of ourselves I think - just to welcome what we can and to show ourselves a little kindness.

        PS, thank you for the question, because in answering it I have of course helped myself let go of a little more of my own story.
        Last edited by Evie; 02-07-2012, 03:01 PM.


        • #5
          Hi Evie,

          Thank you for your thoughtful response.

          I have often tried just welcoming feelings and stories, but there's almost always an alterior motive with I'm going to welcome it so it goes away, and of course this never works.

          I think I'm just very attached to being a victim. I'm going to try some holistic releases... love/hate being a victim; like/dislike being a victim, etc, and see how that goes.

          Hopefully it helps!

          Thanks again.