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How to release on doing things a certain way?

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  • How to release on doing things a certain way?

    Hey guys I'm using the release that was suggested on here. Haven't noticed a huge change, but I'm guessing this isn't an overnight thing. What I am noticing is more awareness. And I am stuck on doing thigs the same way even though I know this doesn't get me results. This is because I roughly know the most likely result or effect. Whereas if I am in the moment, in the flow, being carefree the outcome is unpredictable. As an example I keep my presence within me, I rarely touch people apart from on the arm and even then the thought is basically that I'm ignoring the fact she will probably be uncomfortable. So then I feel conflicted. And this prevents me from being more flirty. I won't stand in the close personal bubble of a girl because i'm worried she will be upse which means I've done something wrong. So to reduce the amount of times I do something wrong I've subconsciously developed plans, step by step so that I rarely if ever deviate from them because they are now my bblueprints. For example if I'm talking to a girl I will actively look for msafem ways of touching her which is usually not many.

    Last night there was a girl at the party. We were talking quite animatedly so we had developed rapport. Later i saw her back to me and the image flashed up of me going up and puting my hands on the sides of her hips. But that image was chased by all the possible negative reactions. She might not be interested and give me a weird look or move away. Then everyone would be thinking about my rejection. but I also feel that I've done somehing wrong and made her uncomfortable. I feel bad if I do something that someone doesn't like.

    That is a huge motivation for me to not step out of my comfort zonel I do this small flirty thing where I glance at the girls lips every now and then. Yet I feel like I'm creating attraction through manipulation. Yet all flirting can be seen this way.

    Same with eye contact. I wont hold it long because it feels aggressive.

    Ii filter everthing i say and do and always pick the safest options. These are the ones that don't actually create attraction. Yet when I push myself beyond my comfort zone it feels like a big step but I control myself so much that it probably even register a blip to other people.

    So, how should zi work through this? The want that comes up is obviously control. In theory if I control my word and actions I can control the outcome. Does this all stem from one source that I can release on? Or should I journal and release on what came up?

    Thanks heaps!

  • #2
    I agree that your post has a lot of feelings based on control. That is the overall want I am getting through your words. However I can still see approval, in there, with sentences like "Then everyone would be thinking about my rejection." That is a mind game. People are going to think what they will no matter what happens. If you want to blow your mind they may think you shouldn't be talking to her period or why isn't he talking to her? How do you know? You don't and who cares anyway.

    Still lets back up a bit to the first part of your post. It is clear from what you have said you are getting it "right" if that helps your mind, which is again a mind game. You are feeling more awareness and is exactly what people, including myself, build more of when releasing from the mind. You mention that you are working on simply being present which is great! So congratulations you are well on your way.

    As to your small changes comment that is simply the way it usually goes. There are people like Eckhart Tolle who seem to release everything in one night and boom they are basically done, however those people are far and few. I suggest releasing on your expectations. So take your attention away from how you think you should be thinking or feeling, again both mind games. In general when releasing you don't feel some major transformation. I have often felt nothing at all but it adds up over time.

    When you feel those feelings of stuckness or uncertainty appear, as best you can, release on them. I would also release on the underlying want at that moment so you aid in removing bigger chucks of blocks. If you think you should release on something go ahead. It NEVER hurts to release and you should do what feels natural and right at the moment. Do keep in mind, as stated before on other threads, there is no wrong way or time to release.

    It is very clear based on your description you are making some huge gains and great improvement. Do keep up with what you are doing and release on your expectations. This method is a marathon not a sprint.

    Finally I recently learned a trick that seems to help greatly and can be used at any time. Simply keep thinking to yourself, "I AM!". Repeat that over and over and over and over in your head. You will start to feel power inside you building and a shift of confidence. It is recommended you don't stop until you feel like you are internally high and floating. Once in this state of being state a goal, in your case, "I AM totally at peace and have confidence when talking to a girl." Rephrase it as necessary. Give that try as I think you'll like it.