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Trusting my wife again?

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  • Trusting my wife again?

    Hello, I am new to TSM. I read the book about 6 months ago and took the home course about 2 months ago. So about 2 years ago I said somethings to my wife that I never should have said and she did some things with a guy she used to work with. She says it didn't mean anything, which I do believe her. She said she thought I was cheating also and it was an escape for her. Well TSM has helped me a lot and I've been trying to release on our relationship but I just cant seem to get past that she cheated
    I love her and our marriage is very strong right now except for that. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
    Thanks,
    David

  • #2
    My reply on another thread is just as relevant here, you can cycle through holistic releasing ask the question like (answer) dislike (answer) and repeat those two questions a number of times. As much as necessary.

    Holistic releasing,
    Could I let go of wanting it to be good again/ could I let go of wanting it to be bad again.
    Could I let go of resisting that it could be good again / Could I let go of resisting that it could be bad again
    Could I allow myself to have it good again / could I allow myself to have it bad again?

    Excellent approach to releasing and getting into the now. You can replace the words good and bad with whatever you decide is positive and negative.
    I know the allowing the negative or what you don't want is a bit of a paradox but it is part of the two sided coin. If you cannot allow the negative you cannot move into the present and having what you have and improving on that.

    If you intend to trust and have the relationship working again, you need to become present and in the moment, be able to appreciate what's here and now. Good and bad.

    Alex



    Alex

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    • #3
      Thank you very much Alex. That helps a lot.

      Thanks,
      David

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