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I make a big burden myself

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  • I make a big burden myself

    Hi my name is ryan.
    My childhood is not happy.
    My father always sended love when I get good grade.
    So I think I need to succeed in my life.
    I always want to be a super winner like Bill gates, richest guy,.....
    It was my lust and want my father approve me and I want control him.
    That desire and emotion make me weaker, smaller and feel big burden, panic disorder, dread...
    Coz I know I can't succed this game. The goal is always super high. I can't reach that goal in my life.
    If I can't realease this sensation, picture and desire, I spoil myself. I already spoil my life for long time.
    But I wanna restart my life. I wanna love myself.
    So give me a power to realease that things.
    love everyone. wish to stay in peace.

    ps. my writing is not in flow. english is not mother language.
    Last edited by Ryanshin7; 04-02-2019, 05:56 AM.

  • #2
    Hi Ryanshin7!

    Thanks so much for sharing this all. Many people can relate to the things that you've written here. So what you can do is welcome wanting to restart your life and then see if you can let go of wanting to do that. Also, you can release on all of this if you like and find the peace that is inside of you, you are that peace.