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  • How to handle unrequited love

    I was asked a question on how to handle unrequited love. Here is my answer:

    Do not despair. First off my wife Amy and I have been together over 20 years and our relationship keeps getting better and stronger. Next I would recommend that you release the pattern by doing the following release repeatedly until you feel clear:</SPAN></SPAN>
    Could I welcome this whole patter with relationships including all the thoughts feelings and memories?</SPAN></SPAN>
    Could I welcome any wanting to do something with our about it and any wanting approval, control, security, separation or oneness?</SPAN></SPAN>
    Could welcome any sense this is personal or about me?</SPAN></SPAN>
    Could I let go of wanting to run this pattern again?</SPAN></SPAN>
    Could I welcome whatever is left at this moment as merely an appearance in or on the awareness that I am?</SPAN></SPAN>
    Keep doing this without wanting to control the outcome and notice what happens.</SPAN></SPAN>
    I would also allow yourself to love and support (your potential partner) in having whatever it is he/she wants for him/herself.
    Love,</SPAN></SPAN>
    Hale</SPAN></SPAN>

  • #2
    I've been a member of the community for some time, but, only came on here today to find some assistance for a breakup. This release is exactly what I needed, and it was the first thing I saw! Amazing how the mind works.

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    • #3
      Hi All,

      I'll run your questions, Hale. Very worthwhile, as usual. That said, there's virtually no chance of my own love being requited. I experienced actual trauma from my rejection, or maybe it simply triggered old trauma. I'm moving on as best I can. There is a gift in this love--it cracked my heart open and blew my stagnant, deadened old life apart. But now, I can at times revert as I feared I would, to a bit of a closed-hearted, bitter, isolate and cynical being.
      So, if you or any coaches have any of your powerful questions to release on around all this, I would appreciate them. And thanks to all, including Lester, for creating this beautiful resource.

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      • #4
        Hi hale,
        You have very strong bonding with your wife, I think you are a lovely couple and a good example for today's generation. You have spend 20years with your wife and you have still the same feeling and respect for her. Heads for to you hale and thanks for sharing this wonderful experience of your life.

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        • #5
          I would say no-one has any control whatsoever as to whether or not love is requited. Most relationships have only one function; to learn how to love yourself. It's never the reason one consciously enters into a relationship, and so there is often much confusion. One generally believes one is going to get love, and usually accepts that one must in turn give love, but relationships are not business deals and genuine Love is not a commodity for exchange. Love is impersonal, and is what you are in the absence of the need to love or be loved, and so you must get out of the way and allow it to move as it will. As you do, you will cease trying to give or receive it, and will simply honor it with Your empty presence. Your relationships will then effortlessly reflect that truth as it presently reflects your confusion.

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          • #6
            Thanks, this posts has been really helpful for me. Im in a relationship now after being single for 4 years after a bad bad break up and at first my present relationship started off very perfect and i then faced with what seems to be a "trauma" i guess and then fear worry anxiety distrust dishonesty and things started to surfaced which lead me deeper into releasing and self discovery...thanks Hale for the releasing process up there, it does seems like a pattern.

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            • #7
              Thanks, this posts has been really helpful for me. Im in a relationship now after being single for 4 years after a bad bad break up and at first my present relationship started off very perfect and i then faced with what seems to be a "trauma" i guess and then fear worry anxiety distrust dishonesty and things started to surfaced which lead me deeper into releasing and self discovery...thanks Hale for the releasing process up there, it does seems like a pattern.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by seno View Post
                Thanks, this posts has been really helpful for me. Im in a relationship now after being single for 4 years after a bad bad break up and at first my present relationship started off very perfect and i then faced with what seems to be a "trauma" i guess and then fear worry anxiety distrust dishonesty and things started to surfaced which lead me deeper into releasing and self discovery...thanks Hale for the releasing process up there, it does seems like a pattern.
                Hi seno!

                Relationships are wonderful crucibles for releasing.

                Thanks for sharing that the experience in your relationship is leading you to go deeper in your releasing process. Conversely, the more and deeper you release, the more everything in your life will heal and change.

                Here are some interesting questions:

                If you don't refer to the mind, the body or memory, can you find the one who has a pattern?

                Could you let go of wanting to have a pattern? Would you if you could? When?

                Welcome whatever your answers are.

                Keep us posted on how things are unfolding,
                Delilah
                www.theaccordcenter.net

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by seno View Post
                  Thanks, this posts has been really helpful for me. Im in a relationship now after being single for 4 years after a bad bad break up and at first my present relationship started off very perfect and i then faced with what seems to be a "trauma" i guess and then fear worry anxiety distrust dishonesty and things started to surfaced which lead me deeper into releasing and self discovery...thanks Hale for the releasing process up there, it does seems like a pattern.
                  Hi seno!

                  Relationships are wonderful crucibles for releasing.

                  Thanks for sharing that the experience in your relationship is leading you to go deeper in your releasing process. Conversely, the more and deeper you release, the more everything in your life will heal and change.

                  Here are some interesting questions:

                  If you don't refer to the mind, the body or memory, can you find the one who has a pattern?

                  Could you let go of wanting to have a pattern? Would you if you could? When?

                  Welcome whatever your answers are.

                  Keep us posted on how things are unfolding,
                  Delilah
                  www.theaccordcenter.net

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi Delilah

                    yes it is indeed, i see my own reflection in my partner

                    okay so the process :
                    1. if i dont refer to the mind body or memory can i find the one who has a pattern?
                    No...
                    2. Could I let go of wanting to have a pattern?
                    No, having a pattern is an excuse for me to really have and enjoy a loving relationship, it kinda guards me from being or getting hurt again....(I repeat question 1) now the answer is yes i could let go of wanting to have a pattern...
                    3. would i?
                    yes i would let go of the wanting to have a pattern
                    4. when
                    now

                    thanks Delilah its been helpful

                    regards

                    Sebastian Seno

                    - - - Updated - - -

                    Hi Delilah

                    yes it is indeed, i see my own reflection in my partner

                    okay so the process :
                    1. if i dont refer to the mind body or memory can i find the one who has a pattern?
                    No...
                    2. Could I let go of wanting to have a pattern?
                    No, having a pattern is an excuse for me to really have and enjoy a loving relationship, it kinda guards me from being or getting hurt again....(I repeat question 1) now the answer is yes i could let go of wanting to have a pattern...
                    3. would i?
                    yes i would let go of the wanting to have a pattern
                    4. when
                    now

                    thanks Delilah its been helpful

                    regards

                    Sebastian Seno

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Dear Hale and all , many thanks for your insights. I would definitely investigate releasing with these questions.

                      This is a very timing post for me too. As the person that I was with walked away from my life some time ago. But somehow I have not being able to make peace with this situation. I have released on this numerous times and there is probably more releasing to be done, since not as often but I still think of him.

                      I recently decided to invest more time on releasing ( in relationships or whatever topic was coming out) and read the SM book for a second time. Soon I realised that I resist reading about goals and I want to skip that chapter since I cannot bring myself to have new ones as I fear being heartbroken again as one of my dreams is to be in a new relationship, but when I feel my rejection to goals I think that maybe is not a relationship I want. Somehow it feels easier to start all over financially rather than find love, or this is what my mind tells me. I am doing releases on self esteem for this.

                      In the last couple of weeks I have started to do releases for longer time and go deeper to see where it takes me, Since then I noticed that even if I feel relief after releases, I wake up next day confused and often feeling unhappy about where I am in my life.I said to myself that this is probably short lived and these are the layers that are pushing to come out too, but I found myself close to tears on a couple of occasions, as I am unsure where to go next. I would appreciate if somebody can please share release questions/ advice that might help me.

                      Thank you always for the useful tips in this forum

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Thanks for your wonderful post and share Coco13!

                        Warmly,
                        Delilah
                        www.theaccordcenter.net

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