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Another question about the word "want" (or "desire")

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  • Another question about the word "want" (or "desire")

    Hi there,
    My releasing has been going well and thank you

    However I want to clear up about the usage of the word want/desire again.
    I asked similar questions before, but I still have one.

    So I understand the word "want" means lack, and in TSM we let go of "wanting" things.
    But does it have negative effects by itself if we use it/them in our daily thinking?

    The reason I ask this is that I noticed Lester uses these words often in his recordings or books, in positive contexts.
    Such as
    "Only think about what you want and the mind will create it" (paraphrasing)
    "So, the next morning, I woke up and asked myself, 'Do I want to go?' and I said, 'Yeah I want to go'"
    (after that he manages to go where he wanted to go although the tickets were booked solid)

    There are more examples.

    I understand when we let go of "wanting" something, it means we are letting go of the sense of "lack."
    But in daily conversation or thinking, we just use the word and don't mean much about lacking.
    Sometimes I read/hear the explanation saying the original meaning of the word want is lack and the subconscious can't distinguish the difference (so it should be avoided).
    But If that's the case and using the word want (or desire) itself is to be avoided, it is strange that Lester did not avoid it so much in his lectures or books.

    If you could clear up on this, it would be really appreciated.

    Thank you!

  • #2
    Hi terrym!

    Sorry for missing this question. It happens sometimes.

    So first let me say that Lester is a great manifester. And he is a great role model for people who want to manifest. He developed TSM to help people discover the love that they are and to experience the peace and joy that comes with that, and to help us to manifest more successfully.

    The question you ask here is really an important one.

    Language is very helpful and yet also limited in conveying things. It can be used, and we use it to guide ourselves in the direction of the ineffable. And yet there are no words that can be a bridge from the material world into that which is limitless. This is because there is no real boundary or separation between the material and the limitless but that's another conversation. Ultimately letting go is the only path to experiencing what we really are. And this is also true for manifesting. We have to let go of everything we think we know about manifesting and everything we want it to be, everything we fear it might be and allow our personal process of letting go to unfold so that we experience manifesting as it pertains to us. That's why when we look at Lester we can use him as an inspiration. We can look to Lester to see what's possible and he serves as a shining example of what is possible while at the same time it's essential that we allow ourselves to have our own journey.

    The idea that we can avoid certain words or feelings or ideas is well meaning but if we actually check we see that it's not possible. We really can't avoid certain words or ideas. That's largely because we can control our thoughts, not really. I say this with first hand experience. I tried to control my thoughts for years. And I had all sorts of devices to address thoughts I could control. I'd say things to myself like, "Delete that thought!", or "That thought isn't acceptable!", as well as other things, and in a way there was a little bit of a let go when I did that. But in the end I realized that really letting go was far more effective.

    Wanting equals lack in that it is the experience of lack. IOWs wanting/lacking is an experience. When I want to sleep I am having an experience. Typically that wanting moves me into action and I go lie down and go to sleep. Typically the want is there but is not blocked by all kinds of stories about myself and sleep. So typically I can just close my eyes and fall asleep. For those of us who have a story about sleep there is wanting but it is fraught with details about our past experiences. So that wanting becomes contracted and essentially almost if not completely closed to having, doing, being. All wanting is the result of a lacking feeling. That lacking feeling is either mild or more and more severe. The more severe the lacking feeling is the more contracted we are and the more closed we are to having, doing, being. So we can let go of wanting in order to let go of the lacking feeling. Remember that letting go is an internal process and that opens us up inside to having, doing, being. Sometimes it's hard to let go of wanting. This isn't a reflection of anything about us or who or what we are. It's just part of the human side of us. So what we can do when we can't let go of wanting is to welcome the wanting feeling. Welcoming is really just opening inside and letting the wanting feeling, the longing to be here so that it can be here fully. We change from being contracted and closed to being open and spacious and in flow. That's when the wanting/lacking feeling changes from a contracted uncomfortable feeling into a delicious flow. It is in the experience of that flow that having, doing and being become realized.

    [email protected]
    Last edited by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach; 11-23-2018, 12:52 PM.


    • #3
      Hi Delilah,
      Thank you very much for answering this question in detail.

      It is very thorough, and it answered many of my questions about language I have had.

      There are still some things I want to clarify.

      (1) I still don't understand why Lester said "Only think about what you want and the mind will create it." From what I understand from TSM and what you have explained, focusing on what you want is focusing on what you lack. So the mind will create "lack" so you don't get what you want. This is often a caveat TSM gives, say, about Law of attraction teachings. Yet there are many examples Lester said something similar.

      (2) It is about Lester again, and in the example I gave in the OP, Lester asks himself if he "wanted" to go to NYC (even though the flight was booked) and he says "Yes I want to go." and then he somehow was able to go because he trusted things will be OK and he will go. I did not understand about it (use of the word "want") but from your explanation, is it correct to think that what Lester did here was acknowledging and welcoming his want, and let go? (So it sounds like acknowledging his "want" was very important for Lester as it is for us)

      I have another question but I cannot put it into words at this point - I may ask it later.

      Thank you again.


      • #4
        Hi terrym!

        So let's start with checking and seeing if you could let go of wanting to figure things out. Welcome your answer.

        The first question has to do with intention. If I want to go to sleep I go lie down. I don't go call a friend or start a project. I keep in mind wanting to go to sleep and I go lie down. If I want a to drink some water I go and get a glass and fill it with some water. My intention is clear and I don't get distracted.

        The mind doesn't create lack but it does offer up lacking thoughts. It also offers up having thoughts too! We often just don't pay much attention to them. So besides intention there is focus. When we focus on having thoughts all the areas of our lives are impacted also.

        The example that you give about Lester going to NYC is again about intention and focus. He asked himself if he wanted to go to NYC, is that a real intention or just one of the many thoughts that come and go through his/our minds. He checked, got a yes answer, think of it as when we are asked a releasing question, we either get a yes or no, and then he let go. When we trust things will be OK we let go. We don't rehash and ruminate we simply relax and let go.

        Keep the questions coming if and when there are more because other's have the same questions so it's a great help to others to have this exchange.

        [email protected]


        • #5
          Thank you Delilah!
          It is starting to get clear to me
          (Hopefully) one more clarification please.

          What I understand (or had understood before I asked this question) is that "wanting something" is NOT equal to "intending (to have, do, be) something."
          When you "want" something, it means there is a sense of lack. That's why you let go of your wants.
          Meanwhile when you intend to have or do or be, there is no sense of lack. Rather, we are focusing on the results.
          Therefore you don't let go of your intention (or am I wrong here?).

          So my question is, aren't there times when we use the word "want" but we just use it conventionally when we mean we intend to have, do, be something/someone?
          In the first example, Lester tells us focus on what we intend to have, do, be (not the sense of lack)...correct?

          It has been confusing to me because in TSM it says whenever we want something, there is a sense of lack.
          So whenever I use the word "want(or my thought uses the word)," I tend to stop and think (or maybe overthink) there is a sense of lack, and try to change the word to something else (like "allow" as in the goal setting section of the book).

          If I was in Lester's second example situation and I caught myself saying "Do I want to go? Yes I want to go." I would change it to "Do I allow myself to go? Yes I allow myself to go." or "I intend to go." etc.
          It was especially hard to do so when someone asks me a question, like "What do you want to do?" and I would naturally answer with "I want to..." even when there is no sense of lack in me.

          So I have always been wondering if there are times when we use the word "want" but we don't really have a sense of lack and if so, we don't have to make a big deal out of the use of the word "want".

          Hope my question makes sense!

          Thank you.
          Last edited by terrym; 11-25-2018, 07:46 AM.


          • #6
            Hi terrym!

            One of the things Hale tells us at the retreats is to let go of wanting to control our use of language. IOWs let go of wanting to control the words we use or how we speak. And we certainly can't control how we think. Eventually the thought habits do change organically through releasing. That doesn't mean old tendencies don't show up again. The difference is that there is no energy in those old thought habits. They are merely shadows of themselves and they release effortlessly.

            We can tell when a want is a representation of lack by how it feels. If there is an aching feeling, an uncomfortable contraction, somewhere in the body when we think of wanting a thing then we know it's a reflection of lack. And of course we can release it. We can either let drop or we can welcome it. Either way of letting go is fine. So we can use the word want or intend or allow by ourselves or around others as long as we keep releasing on it all. And that frees us up not be rigid about how we use language. We don't have to worry about the words. We can use whatever words are natural for us when we know that we are releasing on everything.

            So perhaps it's useful to let go of wanting to figure this all out right now? And perhaps is useful to let go of wanting to control our process right now? And perhaps we can just let go of everything so that we are fully in flow? Welcome your answers.

            [email protected]


            • #7
              Thank you Delilah!

              I think I understand what you have explained

              Thank you so much!



              • #8
                I use the word "desire" now instead of want. It might be that "want" is associated much with a having feeling in my home language (like delilah said with her sleeping analogy), but a desire feels like something I lack and really wish I had. So instead of wanting approval, control, security, I use desire/ long for/ wish for. It's that craving, lacking feeling that can be felt a lot better for me with just changing the wording!


                • #9
                  That is an interesting conversation. Thank you!

                  I asked Paul on a Live Paraliminal Retreat as he uses the words "want" and "desire" in many of the Paraliminals and to me that was in conflict with the language Hale uses in The Sedona Method.

                  I explained how I sensed that letting go can help to turn want into a having - of course it could also turn it into the freedom of truly not even wanting it anymore - and asked about what listening to a Paraliminal could turn it into.

                  Paul acknowledged the difference in language and stated Paraliminals use a want / desire to turn it into a choice.

                  Delilah thanks also for mentioning to let go of wanting to control the language. I remember having tried to suppress thoughts with "want" or "desire" quite some times. These pesky, pesky thoughts!

                  In the end I bet it is also good to see that neither Hale nor Lester nor Paul are likely to always speak the truth. It appears to me human language can just point to the truth, but not really speak it.

                  It appears to me that truth is beyond language.