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  • DelilahCertifiedSMCoach
    replied
    Hi terrym!

    Focus on letting go of any disapproval of your sister and also letting go of wanting to control your parents experience.

    And to answer the last part of your question, when we change our internal environment the external environment tends to reflect that. That in turn causes us to bring different things into the matrix of all of our relationships and does in fact change the relationships and sometimes the situation involving others. But this only happens for us and then through us. We can not do other people's releasing or any other process for them. So what that means is that while we can evolve and we can bring different energies to a situation we have no control over what the other person or people will do with those energies.

    Warmly,
    Delilah
    [email protected]

    Leave a comment:


  • terrym
    replied
    Hi Delilah,
    Thank you always for your answer
    It is a good reminder for me and it seems like I still get caught up in trying to figure things out occasionally.
    Maybe once I am fully released on it, I might "discover better and more effective ways to communicate" or "see better and more creative solutions."
    I certainly hope so (though I know once I am I would be hootless about it).

    Leave a comment:


  • DelilahCertifiedSMCoach
    replied
    Hi terrym!

    Remember that releasing is an internal process. Let go inside and what we do or say will be much more effective. When we let go of our thoughts and feelings including any disapproval about a situation involving others we become more spacious and more in flow inside. That allows us to discover better and more effective ways to communicate with others and to see better and more creative solutions where there were once challenges. So letting go of wanting to change our relatives and letting go of disapproval of them allows us to bring much more to the table than just repressing or wanting to figure things out.

    Best,
    Delilah
    [email protected]

    Leave a comment:


  • terrym
    started a topic Releasing on family issues

    Releasing on family issues

    Hi there,
    I need your help with releasing on my family issues.
    My parents are both sick (father with terminal cancer and mother with senile dementia and other psychiatric issues). I don't even live in the same country with them but I do my best to go home as often as possible to help them. I am struggling because of this and have been releasing on it.

    They still live a somewhat normal life (like taking a shower/bath alone, cooking for themselves etc.) but it is hard for them.They actually live with my sister. She does help them with some basic things - like taking them to the clinics/hospitals or looking after them when they are feeling sick, but nearly as much as my parents (and I) want her to. As a matter of fact, my parents still cook for her, do the laundry for her etc. Also, she has her own business but she is not making much money so basically she is still living off of them. (By the way, she is 40, not married, no kids). Actually it is not that abnormal in their/our culture if my parents were not sick, but they are.This is giving my parents stress, and it is especially bad for my mother's mental health. Not getting much help is one thing, but having to do extra work for her is another.

    However, my sister does not seem to realize this. As a matter of fact, she thinks she is a victim, and the situation seems to be overwhelming for her as well. Actually, she developed food allergy which is dues to stress. I was back there for a while and I told my sister as diplomatic as possible to help them more, but she cries and says that I did not know how hard it was to live with "sick people" and if I did not like the way things were I should come home and live here 24/7.

    So it is the "back story." Now, here are my questions.

    (1) I want to release on this issue, and one thing I think I can do is to release on wanting to change her(my sister) and the situation. But if she does not change, it keeps affecting my parents. Usually I release on something that is directly about "me" or "my" situation and would affect (mostly only) me, so I accept the consequences. But when accepting the way things are actually hurt someone else, how can one be "hootless" about it? I know letting go is not the same as "giving up," however I cannot really understand this.

    (2) It is a bit more "spiritual" or "metaphysical" question, and does my releasing on this issue affect the situation or family dynamics? Often in the spiritual world, it is said that by changing your inner world or your perception, the world around you changes, and I have had personal experiences about this. But in those cases, by changing my inner world, my behavior etc. would change as well and it would affect how things are around me - or at lease it is the "logical" explanation that is often provided in books etc. But this time, it is mostly about my parents and my sister. Somehow would my releasing work through a "higher dimensional world" and affect the situation so to speak?

    I do realize that the fact I am asking this question means that I am still wanting the situation to change, and I admit that (and "welcoming" it).

    Thank you.
    Last edited by terrym; 11-19-2018, 07:57 AM.
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