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Wanting to be done with the world

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  • ananda99
    started a topic Wanting to be done with the world

    Wanting to be done with the world

    # Wanting to be done with the world

    ## Initial post
    Sorry, for again showing up with a challenge. I bet its good when I also write about gains and successes. There were many of them. I even found a releasing partner and I may bring up this topic on our next appointment.


    I object the regulations regarding the public television fees in my country since quite a while. I see them as a way to take money from resource-poor people and to transfer that money to resource-rich people and to support a kind of public television that does not really fulfill its original purpose anymore and more and more offers the same stuff as privately held broadcasting stations. I do not have a television since more than 20 years anymore. And I do not even miss it.

    After having succeeded in not paying those fees for years not surprisingly it appears that authorities are after getting that money from me. That triggers fear in me even though I know I am able to pay it. Once during the beginning of my civil disobedience protest I even donated some money to them to verify whether it would be just about holding back abundance and love from someone else for me. But I still was in conflict and interpreted that in a way that there is more to it than this. In the recent years I also sent much more money than the television fees to NGOs.

    On releasing on it a much broader topic came up:

    Wanting to be done with the world already. Wanting to stop having to deal with all the dysfunctional sickness in our so called modern societies. Wanting to stop to support more than a dozen NGOs with my money and feeling like having to deal with dozens over dozens of mails from them again and again. Wanting to stop feeling having to stand up for what appears to be such basic stuff like consequent action to prevent climate change after I did all I could to minimize my own impact on the climate. Wanting to let go of all the pressure behind the feeling of having to rescue the world, cause many powerful people currently do not seem to care.

    I faced a hefty hate about our modern human societies, about all the abuse of those that seem unable to defend themselves by powerful companies and politicians. The abuse of apparently powerful people against apparently less powerful people brought up memories of abuse in my childhood. And all the hate of capitalism, religion and the sheer amount of destruction both brought to the fabric of life. I just wanted to kill all of that already.

    I know "Letting go of want to change" and its a good release for that. I also know about the releases for the world. And I know about

    "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And wisdom to know the difference."

    But I feel unwilling to accept that I cannot change what seems important for me to change. I even feel unwilling to release on it.

    Wait I am here for if not to change and fix up that mess?

    Wait... can I hold on to it, just a bit longer?

    Can I now let it go, even if just for a second? Yes.

    Yes.


    I know Lynne Twist's work and her approach to hospice the old dysfunctional structures as she claims the are dying already anyway. But I distrust them to go away all by themselves.


    Such a burden. Wanting to change about everything. How things go in the company I work for. Wanting to change about almost all aspects of my personal live. And wanting to change about a lot of in my eyes dysfunctional stuff that goes on in our so called modern societies. And then feeling angry cause as I work on my personal goals this world dares to come in and demand attention as well. How can it even dare? How can the world dare to distract me from personal goals that I thought are so important for me?

    Is there any group of releasing people who regularly release for the world and release the conflicts they feel with their relationship to it?

    It more and more feels like the time for heroines and heroes. It feels to me that more and more civil disobedience is required to bring forth the changes that are required *quickly* in order to save this world we live in. However, from a releasing point of view, civil disobedience can be quite exhausting, at least for me, cause it triggers just about everything I piled up and held on to so far. However, just going back to the old "Yes-saying and obeying" principle does not work either.

    Is there a different way?

    Now releasing with tears and continuing to release about the original topic as best I can.

    I really hope you will not judge me for just being honest about this topic.

    I feel so done with the world currently and it feels to me as God made a big mistake with all of this mess.

  • ananda99
    replied
    Thank you, Delilah. Your words touched something deep inside me.

    It is better now. Much better. It was already before I read your response, but your response added to it. Also reading that I am not the only one who at times feels that way and it may not be all that personal helped.

    For one thing I experienced it is not me against all of the world. I went through the woods and found that I have no conflict with the woods. I may have conflicts with how (some) human beings deal with the woods, but the woods themselves, nature is just beautiful and wonderful. I love it.

    I released on it already, and yes, I found a lot of wanting control and also a lot of wanting security. One of my two life goals that kind of dropped away in the last days in a process I do not really understand is to (still) found a family. And well some of the lack of action on global scale about climate change is threatening physical security of many people.

    Thanks for the recommendation to welcome instead of let go for now. I used Letting Go paraliminal on all of this and had it repeat the third track, the change-work track, three times. And coincidentally this paraliminal uses triple welcoming.

    I also found it is about overwhelm and feeling helpless. The other life goal is to be the healer I am. I am still holding back a lot on this goal, but I have images of not "just" channeling healing energy to people but to complete areas. I feel quite some urgency behind just letting that energy flow as it does to help to heal what is wounded.

    Regarding those two life goals I often enough experienced that it is not about me at all anymore.

    Both of the goals have to do with creative energy and I am working to free it of any blocks I have learned to implement during my childhood.

    Leave a comment:


  • DelilahCertifiedSMCoach
    replied
    Hi aanada99!

    Many people feel the same way you do about the same things. I am not minimizing the seriousness of climate change and what that means for the planet and the people who live on it but putting aside what you have written here, did you know that eventually the sun will burn out and the planet will die because of that. Everything in the physical/material world dies. I remember completely freaking out about that about 20 years ago. And a friend said, "Well, maybe we'll come back as other species on other planets." Clearly I hadn't thought about that. I found it comforting because it introduced a new way of understanding the cycle of life ...and death.

    Underneath what you have written here is wanting control. So welcome wanting control. Allow yourself to want control as much as you do. Keep on welcoming it until it turns into delicious flow so that you can experience the love and beingness that you are so that you can keep doing all the positive things that you doing with ease instead of feeling burdened by all of this.

    Your believe that it's all turning to crap is really just a belief. And that belief, like every thought is just coming up to be released. Often times things get a lot worse before they turn around and get better. More and more people are waking up to the truth of what they are and are finding ways to be part of the changes they are seeking. Welcome as best you can of the idea that what you are doing isn't helpful or useful. Welcome any feeling of pwerlessness and hopelessness. There is also a lot of resistance in what you have described in your post. Welcome the resistance and keep on welcoming it until it turns into delicious flow. Notice how I am suggesting you keep welcoming things. Don't worry about letting go when there's a lot of holding on. In fact welcome the holding on. And welcome all the wanting and all the resistance and see what happens. Welcoming is the second most fundamental way to let go and in many ways it's the most powerful.

    Keep us posted on how things unfold for you,
    Delilah

    Leave a comment:

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