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What does welcoming feel like?

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  • What does welcoming feel like?

    I'm not sure I welcome emotions properly. When trying the welcome I just let myself feel the emotion as it is, eg if the emotion was fear I would focus on feeling the fear sensation in my stomach but found this doesn't really do much except make me more aware the emotion is there. I've yet to experience any change from welcoming an emotion. Is this because you have to do more than just focus on feeling the emotion to welcome? Am I doing something wrong?

  • #2
    three things that've helped me, all from the elementary stages of the course: one is to remember the feeling of holding and letting go of the pen, if necessary, physically do this again; that's part of Hale's introduction to releasing; another is the exercise where you get someone to put his/her hand up to the side and you push on the hand and see if he/she pushes back -- which is resistance; the third is just mentally saying 'yes' to the feeling.
    so when you focus on the feeling is there any 'pushing' on it, even subtly? are you gripping the feeling like we gripped the pen?


    • #3
      I think I kind of get it now. When welcoming I was always waiting for something to happen like 'has it changed yet?' So I was resisting a little bit.


      • #4
        Hi honestowl!

        Yes, allowing a feeling to do what it is doing, noticing the sensation of it is exactly what welcoming a feeling is like.

        No you aren't doing anything wrong.

        If you keep allowing it to do what it is doing in the way that it is as much as it is it will change. However, if you are wanting it to change you are likely resisting it. So could you let go of wanting it to change?

        Another way to fully experience welcoming a feeling is to imagine opening up inside to it. One image that I like to use sometimes is to imagine opening up inside to a feeling like a flower opens up to the sun. Or like a bird that is spread its wings to soar through the air.

        fionvarin's suggestion of saying yes to a feeling is also very helpful and powerful.

        Last edited by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach; 03-31-2017, 02:15 PM.