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How do you identify a want?

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  • How do you identify a want?

    Hello The Sedona Method Community.

    I read the book by Mr. Hale Dwoskin.
    I find it okay to release agflap emotions, but Mr. Dwoskin writes in his book that the wants are not feelings but they have a feel to them???

    That is the most confusing sentence I ever read, what does that mean? How can I find and release something that is not a feeling? I can feel phsyical pain, disappointment, anger, fear.........
    What am I now feeling? Easy to see from emotional scale.
    What is my want? I don't know, how am I supposed to know? Just guess? Then how do I let go of something I cannot feel because it is not a feeling?

    Does that feeling "come from" one of the wants? How do I know, do I look behind my feelings in my torso area? In my spine area? In the bottom of my torso area (location of root chakra???) or do I look inside the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach area? If the feeling comes from a want, I must be able to find it somewhere in the body, right?
    Can I let go of wanting to figure it out? Well, how does this "want to figure it out" feel like. I can feel the feelings but how am I supposed to find which want it is? i know there is wanting to figure it out in my mind, but where can I find it in my body area to release?

    It's very confusing for me. Please somebody help with this issue, I cannot identify lacking feeling. I think of my now feeling and I see "ok it's fear" for example. Then I ask myself: "is there a sense of wanting approval, control or security?" Well then I go looking for it and guess, if I'm afraid I probably want to be safe, but where is this want so I can feel it and let it go?

    For example: I have resistance to a specific action steps with my goal. I ask is this wanting control approval or security. Well my mind logically says approval because it is about talking to strangers, but then I ask could I let go? Well let go? How? Where is this thing that's supposed to have a feel to it. Are these wants integrated in the emotions? For example how can emotions of Apathy Grief Fear ever feel pushy, like want to control when they are feeling like leave me alone, powerless or inferior and small?

    Please help me with this problem. Greetings from Austria

  • #2
    Hello Pelinka and welcome to the forum,

    In Ch.7 of The Sedona Method book it is explained that there are 4 groups of wants, wanting control/ be controlled, approval/disapproval, security/survival, oneness/separation. The Imaginary Tree of Limitation in p.183 shows how the emotion and wants are related. Something can be related to more than one wants at the same time. When you notice that something is coming out of one want, check to see if there's also the need for it's opposite, usually it's there. Here's a quick recap with the wants and some synonyms that might help you recognize the underlying want(s) better.

    Control-Feels hard-edged and pushy-Be controlled-Feels like wanting to be taken care of
    Some synonyms are:
    Wanting to change/understand/manipulate/push/fix/force something/to have it our way/to be right/to be on top/ to make it happen/to coerce
    Wanting to change/be changed/to be confused/to be manipulated/ to be fixed/to be forced/to follow/to be the underdog/to blame/to be the victim

    Security-Feels threatened and unsafe-Survival-Feels like wanting to give up, rejecting life
    Some synonyms are:
    Wanting safety/to survive/to get revenge/to protect ourselves and others/to attack/to defend/to kill/to be safe
    Wanting danger to end it all/to expose ourselves and others/to be attacked/to be defenseless/to be killed/to be annihilated/ to be threatened

    Some synonyms are:
    Wanting love/acceptance/admiration/caring/to be noticed/to be understood/to be stroked/to be nurtured/to be liked/to be recognized/to be popular/
    Wanting to be disliked/rejected/be looked down on/ to hide/to be misunderstood/to rebel/to be ignored

    Some synonyms are:
    Wanting to unite/ to accept/to be equal with/to be ordinary/to attach/to associate/to join/to connect
    Wanting to be alone/to reject/ to look down on/to stand out/to be special/to detach/to disassociate/ to disconnect

    If you want to change the way you feel e.g yo feel fear and want to change that then it's a wanting to control
    If you want to be left alone then it's wanting to be separate
    And so on

    Letting go feels like getting lighter, like opening up inside
    Letting go is choosing/deciding to simply drop a feeling(or thought)
    The exercise with the pen in p.36 can show you how it feels like, you can give it a try

    All the best,


    • #3
      Hello Daremo,

      first of all thanks a lot for your response.

      I do understand what you wrote and I do understand the concept of the emotions "coming from" the 4 want programs.

      My question, however, is where are the wants in my body to release? Because all emotions I can release but I don't know where to find the wants since Mr. Dwoskin says the wants are not feelings but they have a feel to them. How do the wants FEEL different from the emotions? How do they integrate in my body where I release them from (not in the tree of limitation concept, I get that)

      I guess what I don't understand is:

      When I release, do I just change the wording or is there actually a place where I can find those wants?
      Releasing emotions, I can find a uncomfortable feeling in my stomach or chest area. But where do i find these wants?

      I mean, if you are in Apathy, desire is dead, so which want is that? Doesn't match any of the wants..

      All the best


      • #4
        * In the book he writes
        • does that COME FROM a wanting approval, control, security, seperation or oneness?
        • dig a little deeper and see which want it's coming from
        So where do I dig exactly? Is it literally under my emotions somewhere (at the root chakra location or where are they located?)


        • #5
          Digging is on the feeling/emotion itself and not necessarily tied to a particular part of the body


          • #6
            Funnily enough, after reading your answer, I wasn't really satisfied with it.

            But then I tried releasing again and I think I understand what you mean, it feels a lot easier now to release the wants. I thought it was (or wanted it to be) like a movie projector in the movie theatre:
            the movie on the screen being the emotions (AGFLAP-CAP) and the projector being the source of those emotions (the wants). Like I wanted them to be at two seperate places in my body and didn't realize they are kind of intertwined.

            Seems like I really wanted it to be more complicated than it is.

            Thanks a lot for your help, Daremo!
            Have a phenomenal day and happy releasing


            • #7
              Well your analogy with the movie and the movie screen it's actually a very good one both the emotions and the wants are just projections and appearances on the screen and what you are is aware of them but not attached to them.

              Thank you too and have a great day also