hi anyone who are looking at this post! I've changed this post for two times, and the first one makes the head like this.
it's much more a specific way in terms of letting go processes of the feeling of being traumatized and ;... hurt.

and the second change I made is I talked about my pride feeling every time I was emotionally abused or neglected, I/e/, I need to better! I need to surpass them! so on and so on.

I've taken out the original post I said because I think I am still in the process, and this might not be accurate and clear because there're still days and nights alternating there for me ~ !

I'may '' edit this later,