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This is a DESTINY

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  • Hunter4
    replied
    Good to know that about This is a DESTINY and other information some very
    useful points i got, thanks for the info...

    Leave a comment:


  • DelilahCertifiedSMCoach
    replied
    Hi Horacio,

    I agree with Evie when she suggests that perhaps you might think about letting go of any beliefs you have about long distance coaching. It's true that I offer coaching but I am not trying to pursuade you to have me as a coach. There are so many folks here that could likely help you with some of your beliefs about the effect/impression your speach has on other people, some of the beliefs you have about yourself, as well as being able to effortlessly let go of anxiety etc. All the coaches here offer free initial consultations and you might be pleasantly surprised to discover that there is much relief from suffering that can be had over the phone or via skype. If that doesn't sound like something you are open to then just keep releasing because that will help a lot too.


    Best,
    Delilah
    Last edited by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach; 07-05-2011, 11:36 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Evie
    replied
    Hi Horacio,
    I’ve read many of your posts and I agree with what Santuno says. I also do suggest you re-think that belief of yours about coaching. I live in the UK and had 7 sessions with Liesbeth, one of the Dutch coaches and it made a HUGE difference to my releasing, in aspects of my life that I thought could never change. It doesn’t matter where you are in the world if you have access to skype you can see the coach and in my experience that it works just as well as face to face.

    Leave a comment:


  • Horacio
    replied
    Santuno,

    Thank you so much for the kind words. They really mean so much to me! It is really strange to find someone speaking/writing a foreign language so appropriately as you say but with me it has to do with a "compensation factor" stemming from years of stuttering behavior. Because many words or sentences altogether have been particularly elusive for some time, many people who stutter -paradoxically- develop a vast vocabulary! In fact, I regard myself as a near-living thesaurus as I have had to find synonyms, slang and idiomatic expressions for so many day-to-day words and situations people take for granted. And since I speak many languages, sometimes when I'm stuck in a rut I say the equivalent in another tongue just to get out!

    Well, I haven't been in touch with any of the coaches. I don't believe in long-distance coaching. I have always wanted to attend one of the week-end long sedona method workshops but the costs are prohibitive for me . I am seeing a psychoanalyst right now, which is probably a waste of money in the end but gives me a good place to vent my seemingly endless fury. ;-)

    Leave a comment:


  • santuno
    replied
    Horacio,

    I read your posts always to the end because you write them so good that they pull me in. I think you have a talent that you are yet not aware off or not using it to the maximum. Perhaps your stuttering is a setup for you to express yourself in a written form, who knows, that could even be your destiny.

    What I really wanted to ask is, have you had any experiences with the coaches here? Did you had any breaktroughs, in regards to anxiety, feeling overwhelmed etc?
    What are your experiences?

    Regards,

    Leave a comment:


  • Horacio
    started a topic This is a DESTINY

    This is a DESTINY

    Last night I had a typical experience related to my life, my bouts with the stuttering. I was asked by my uncle, a medical doctor who can't speak
    english to perform a purchase for him of some expensive medical equipment in the United States over the telephone from my country of residence
    since I have a P.O. box address in Miami. I soon dreaded going to his house because I knew what to expect and I became an anxiety disaster prior to
    even getting there. I tried to bring that down with medication and a sip of red wine to try to bring myself to a certain level of comfort but there's no
    magic is there?

    So, once there, he asked that I call this and that bussiness and provide all this and that data and you can imagine the states of overwhelmingness and
    lack of touch with reality I felt. Once I'm conversing to this man in the states I begin to block terribly, spasms here there and everywhere, I
    can't provide my uncle's name...I stall...I have to spell his name and last name because my articulations don't allow me to simply speak up. I have to
    pretend to come across as a loony, as someone who is not secure as to what to say, my uncle is shooting me the names and characteristics of
    everything he wants desperately and I have to (once again) act as though I'm getting overwhelmed by the excess of information...

    But I'm not......I'm just putting up a sham. A pathetic show. I knew and perfectly know what to say and do in every scenario BUT I CAN'T physically.
    So I put up all this behaviors to cover my shameful reality and act like a child when I'm 28 years old. And the strain and the stress that come with
    that is devastating. In just a few seconds I completely loose awareness of reality, begin to giggle like an idiot, say nonsensical things and just cannot
    believe what my place in this world is supposed to be. Eventually I finish the call so to speak with little or no headway made as usual. A handful of
    extra phone numbers and email accounts to send whatever message. It is something so horrific I don't even know what to make of it.

    Thank lord I had my meds in my pocket...I rushed to had a strong dose right away, otherwise I would have drifted into that
    oh!-so familiar abbyss! Medications seemed to allow me to remain less embarrased than I would. Today I woke up obviously strained from what
    happened last night. And I thought for a long time about the "why's" and "what now's" etc and then it dawned upon me that what happens to me is
    called DESTINY.

    And DESTINY cannot be altered. It has to be fulfilled, lived through. Or ended by commiting suicide which is always an option, albeit the saddest one.
    Surprisingly, by the time I left my uncle's house he told me: "You could be making serious bucks by working for people who can't speak english and
    are in dire need of someone who can, like you!" He had no clue the shame, agony I just went through, even if he observed
    me he didn't seem to see, even if he listened to me blocking or not being able to say a word or repeating a syllable four of five times he just can't
    understand the terrible wounds that experience inflicts upon someone's sense of self and image.

    I was recalling this morning how stupid I was to pretend when I was younger I could ever take control of my life and visualized myself living in Italy or
    France working for travel agencies across Europe visiting museum and palaces living the good life speaking tongues of culture and refinement. A man
    of my cultural accumen deserves to gather around beautiful people, travel across historical landmarks & monuments and eat & drink the finest food
    and wine in the world accompanied by gorgeous women.

    But I have to accept the embarrasment of only being able to speak english, the tongue of white trash, and spanish, the tongue of vilified immigrants
    and know that I have to make a living riding a motorcycle for a nothing money at the end of the month which barely allows me to live. Even if the
    word "live" is acceptable in this case.

    I have to accept DESTINY. And I'm starting to.
    Last edited by Horacio; 07-01-2011, 12:26 PM.
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