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Resistance to Failure is Resistance to Success

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  • Resistance to Failure is Resistance to Success

    The Course in Miracles tells us that many of our failures are our successes and many of our successes are our failures. Could you notice what happens as this idea seeps into awareness? Could welcome all of the thoughts, feelings, sensations, memories, and fantasies that come into awareness? The Course is a non-dual tome that invites us to let go of everything so that we might experience the miracles that are just floating around the cosmos waiting to land somewhere. The cosmos is redolent with miracles but often we get in the way of experiencing them because we are in resistance.

    One of the ways we stay in resistance is to resist failure. Lester tells us that the degree we resist one thing is the degree to which we resist everything. Take a moment and notice any resistance to failure and see if you could welcome the resistance fully. Could you open to it fully? And now could you let the resistance go?

    When something happens that appears to be the opposite of what we want to have happen we interpret that as failure. Ususally it is at this point that mind kicks in with old memories of when other things didn't go the way we wanted them to and the mind offers all sorts of explanations for why things didn't work the way we wanted. This is because the mind is always looking to make sense out of things. The next and final step in this cycle is to determine that the unfolding of events is a reflection of who or what we are. So, in this moment, could you check and see if there is any wanting things to make sense? Any wanting to figure things out? Could you welcome that and then could you just drop that want for things to make sense, to figure things out? And then check and see if you could let go of wanting to have an explanation for why or how things unfold? And could you let go of wanting to attach yourself to any explanations? Could you let go fo wanting to be that explanation? Could you let go fo wanting to make any part of the memorie real?

    Could you allow the fear of failing come into awareness? Could you welcome it? Could you open fully to not accomplishing a goal? Would you if you could? When? What we notice when we let go of this fear is that there is receptivity to everything. We aren't stumped or stuck just because a so-called failure occured in one moment in time. We are not impressed with that particular moment. Instead there is a curiosity about the next moment, this moment, right here and right now when anything is possible. We find that we are open and in flow and receptive to the infinite possibilites that are floating around just waiting to land somewhere.

    Sending love to all,

  • #2
    Love it, Delilah. Beautiful words. Rings a few bells on a gut level. Resonates. It makes so much sense that again it rises the question: how..on.. earth.. could life for most of us have become so incredibly restricted that we believe so many not-constructive things? (yes I'm being very very very cynical using the word "not-constructive") These destructive (old but persistent) thought patterns are really incredible to me, because ALL of this old-habit-stuff and limiting (again cynical) beliefs can -in no way- stand against the logic of many freedom-seeking humans like yourself and like sooo many others who are providing gems for the mind, for people who want to release their illusions, release their shell of fake-self and yet it somehow does.. It makes sense. It feels really good. But it doesn't change. At least not in an instant, which I probably expect, being a restless and impatient one). I chip away resistance on a daily basis, feeding my brain with new material and logic and constructive, mind-provoking ideas, but it never gets further than a tickling. It never lasts. I do sometimes experience a knock-out in my mind, which I really like. As if something someone said made SO much sense that it entered my brain and lightly touched, or actually rubbed against a knob inside, or a button that I've been trying to find to permanently switch off from this terrible position it has been focussed upon. I think right now that's the strangest thing to me in all of my experience of climbing out the mind. I take little comfort hoping the gems are like seeds. I don't expect the fruits to pop out of the seed immediately, do I? Well, I guess my impatience does make me want these seeds of logic to be like bombs, blowing away all unnecessary ballast, so I can start living. ease. one step at a time. chipping away layers of an onion. love to you for helping.


    • #3
      Hi sjefke!

      The problem isn't the mind or the old patterns of thought. The problem is that we think that all is a problem. Again, notice the thoughts and then notice the awareness of them. Hale often tells folks to be a little more interested in the awareness. That is great and powerful advice.

      Notice how much you'd like to change what is and just welcome that. Let the whole experience of wanting to change what is is be here. Notice the sensations in the body that are part of the wanting to change things experience. Welcome it all as best you can. Keep welcoming this. These sensations are just energies trying to move through the body to be released. We attach stories to these sensations and energies because the mind is always looking to explain, to make sense out of our experiences. See if you could let that go. See if you could put the story aside for just a moment and just let the wave of energy move on through. Also, it might be helpful if you actually notice that any story is really just a memory. In fact just check and see for yourself right now. What is actually here right now? Are there any problem or patterns here right, right now or is that actually just a memory? You'll find that right here and right now there are no patterns or problems only memories.

      When they come up you can welcome the memories and then see if you could let go of wanting to hold them close, to make them real? It's just a question...Would you let go of wanting to hold them close or make them real if you could? When?

      One quieting question is to ask the mind "Where will my next thought come from?" Notice how just for a split second there is quiet because the mind doesn't have an answer to that question. Ask yourself that question every now and again and you'll notice how the mind quiets instantly. But again, the mind stuff isn't the problem so much as that we are more interested in that than we are in the awareness that is completely silent, peaceful, infinite, unconditional, non-judgemental, open, and receptive. That awareness is you. Feelings and thoughts come and go but you don't do you? The awareness is always here even when feelings and thoughts and experiences come and go.

      Try not being aware. That completely silent, peaceful, infinite, unconditional, non-judgemental, open, and receptive awareness is you right now. Check for yourself and see if you can shake loose of awareness, if you can get rid of it. We may not pay much attention to what we are but that doesn't change what we are...

      Just keep letting go, keep welcoming all the stuff and keep letting it all go using all the SM processes and while you are doing that notice the awareness that is always here, right now, and unchanged, unaffected, unhampered, unfettered by any thought or feeling or circumstance or experience because that is who and what you really are.

      Last edited by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach; 02-27-2013, 07:07 AM.


      • #4
        Hi Delilah,
        that was really nice of you. after the first few sentences I let the sensations of reading what you'd written BE here. that was fun! Here I was, laughing out loud for a few minutes, feeling the energy moving, sensations flowing, letting go. So great to experience every time. It's a miracle. I somehow got the message to make a distinction between the creation (thoughts) and the creator (awareness). Great, great fun. Also they're just energies moving through the body. And our minds wanting to attach meaning to sensations in the form of stories. Super.
        I do still find it interesting that the mind is so much in NEED of WANTING to explain everything but ESPECIALLY in the way that it does: Drama and Problems. Isn't that weird?
        You said, the mind or the patterns aren't the problem. It's that we think it is a problem. I agree, but don't you find that fascinating? I mean, why the need to look for a "problem?" why the need to search for WRONGNESS? (is it out of wanting security?). It could look for beautiful things too. In fact it would make so much more sense, but it usually doesn't do that. why not? sounds like a bug in the system.
        You said no stories and patterns right here, right now. that's just memories. That definitely rubbed against a knob in my head. silence, spaciousness, freedom for a split second. marvelous. you're a great help. you're words are like indian food! hot and spicy? no! simply delicious. wait, delicious delilah, funny.
        a little over ten years you're "into" letting go, are you not? so where are you? bliss, freedom? does letting go also take care of the earthly business money, health, happy relationships? Now that I've written this last sentence I think I know the answer to my own question on why the mind does such a good job of looking for problems. The mind is experiencing contrast here on earth. That's where the mind IS. It has to endure many stressful situations from age zero. It doesn't have the privilege of just for now breathing it's way back home to "God", Source, All that is, Energy, Infinite, Spaciousness, Freedom, Silence, Happiness, Beingness. Well, maybe it does, but it's too occupied getting a handle on how to pay for the bills, keeping the job, staying healthy, staying out of trouble, wondering if the words that came out of this "shell of self" this morning were the right ones, the correct ones, weren't mis-interpreted by the listener. Or some other scary scenario that could unfold being here on earth. So, how do you feel? how's your life? is it still the same, only difference being your not-attaching ability anymore. understand if it's too personal of course. My only goal is to expand and learn. Love Sjef


        • #5
          Hi sjefke!

          Lovely share!

          So happy to read about all your joyful letting go!!!

          I suspect that you can tell how I'm feeling/doing/being from the posts LOL...

          Letting go is an internal process that offers us space and calm and joy and pleasure and freedom to do/have/be whatever we 'd like to do/have/be. It is directly applicable to everyday life because the more in flow we are, the more peace and joy we have, and the more we enjoy participating in life in all the ways we'd like.

          On the most primitive level every organism is programmed for survival and depending on how differentiated the organsim is it has many mechanisms to support its survival. Even a one cell amoeba is programmed to seek and support it's own survival. Our minds are oriented towards survival and that is why it tends to be somewhat vigilant and analytical. Again, this is not a problem if we understand that the mind is a tool to be used at the right time in the right way. In fact when the mind is given the right work or the right direction it can be enormously helpful. You mentioned how the mind is always looking for problems. If you who are ask the mind and allow the mind to start looking around for what is working and what is good and what is beautiful it will start to orient itself to do that. And because this activity is so pleasurable and rewarding it will get better and better at it as time goes on. Don't forget that the mind isn't just looking to avoid pain or death, it's also looking to embrace pleasure and life. So the mind can be extremely helpful. There are things that mind can not help us with because it doesn't know what it doesn't know. LOL... The mind can not concieve of the infinite but it can notice and even appreciate when we are experiencing our own infinitude. TSM is a process that actually uses the mind (!) to go beyond the mind. You don't have to know how TSM works in order to experience and then recognise the benefits. We don't need to understand what rain is or where it comes from in order to get wet.

          For your freedom,


          • #6
            Wow, just a quick response to share what happened a few seconds ago when I read the part where you were speaking about being programmed for survival, being vigilant and analytical. I haven't even read the rest yet. But just reading this, I got goosebumps ON MY SKULL! And my eye just got wet. No, I didn't cry, there was just suddenly a tear right away. That was a 'letting go'. Insane. beautiful. I noticed this releasing was because I REALLY REALLY, I MEAN REALLY HATED (wow past tense, again progress) the fact my mind has been in the "looking for trouble-mode" for as long as I remember. And now, this wonderful explanation. It makes SOO much sense. I respect the mind. That feels weird! All these years, and now respect? kicks in again saying, but will it last? I can let that go too!
            I haven't read your posts yet, just this one where I responded to. I'm green so to speak. a fresh member. Just started somewhere that got my attention. This topic of yours resistance to failure is resistance to success, definitely got mine. Where do you hide your wings? Delicious Delilah. I'll write you more soon. Sjef


            • #7
              The second part too!! Give it a job to look for the good. Great. I know, I know, I know! This is my fourth year of letting it all go. In my own way (of course combined with books and inspirational teachers, meditation, what ever I was a match to at that time and TSM only for a month). I've experienced exactly what you say and still do to the degree I'm able to let go: use the mind to start looking for what's working. You won't believe the miracles. Okay, you might. Man, I was the worst for 36 years. I always used the analogy of a freshly painted wall where I was able to look for spots that I missed, things wrong. Things that should be better. Perfectionist times two! To the extreme Delilah. There were always some things wrong, always. Until I noticed that endless loop of what I was doing. And than I just stopped. It was easy. Do you know why? I had taken that other path and had seen E - VE - RY INCH of it. Do you read me? So, because of that and because of the "fruits" it brought me up to that point: stress, pain, misery, depression, unhappiness, unfulfilling (is that a word?) No more! I've tried that. In an instant I was utterly convinced that there had to be only ONE path remaining: Just drop it. Control is an illusion. Illusion or not, 'control' has a bit momentum going on. I don't think it's hard to relate to the fact that I'm impatient. I can't dodge reasoning I'm 38 and wanting to buy the largest bomb available to me that would fit my (limiting-negative-and-so-on-) memories, blow them to the dark side of awareness, so I can enjoy my focus on bliss, which would then be all there is. x And thank you for your kindness, energy, attention, patience. Just know that I'm as open, honest, naked and true as I can be. Always have been. That's a quality I treasure. We make life hard enough ourselves. Wherever I can I don't complicate this. I'll read your posts in the next days. Thank you Lighthouse DD. Sjef


              • #8
                Originally posted by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach View Post

                The Course in Miracles tells us that many of our failures are our successes and many of our successes are our failures.
                When something happens that appears to be the opposite of what we want to have happen we interpret that as failure.

                Dear Delilah

                Thank you so much for this beautiful and useful post.

                What seemed or felt like a big failure in my releasing process, turned out to be my biggest gain (success) so far.

                When I read your post, I felt like Tundi, and started working with all this. I didn't expect it to be a short process (many issues, a lot of fear involved), but I didn't expect it to take several weeks either (well, I do only 1 - 2 hours a day of concentrated releasing, not entire days like in a course or retreat).

                It went well until I started having very uncomfortable body sensations. Since they seemed to persist instead of going away after a while, I started getting uneasy about it, building up resistance against my resistance, against just about everything .... - until I got stuck, and it felt like a complete failure, with all the associated thoughts, feelings and pictures ;-) . For a whole week. I behaved like a bee that hits against the window, over and over again, in a desperate attempt to get out, and you look at it and think: "If only it would stop and rest just for a moment, it might sense that the same window through which it came in is still wide open and only just an inch or two away...".

                Looking for help on the board, I came across the recordings of Susan's support calls. Just listening to other people's issues distracted from mine, enough to open up something inside, and one good thing I heard led to another. (I've mentioned some of it in Silentarrow's post "How to release when lost in story".) .

                I'm grateful for that "failure", because it has led to some very deep and valuable experiences, that I won't forget that easily, and it feels like I've made a huge step forward. And .... (I could go on and on ....)

                My best friend or teacher might come along disguised as a "failure" - so, from now on, I'll give "failures" a warm welcome, too.

                Thank you, Delilah, and Susan, (and many others) for all your wonderful guiding and support.

                Warm regards,