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Goal setting, what's the point?

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  • Goal setting, what's the point?

    Hi everybody,

    I seem to have some blocks setting goals. In the past I have set some selfish goals, or unrealistic goals that never manifested and feel like my goal setting muscles are a bit shrunken. It seems like my goals are under the surface and visualizing is not one of my strengths, even though I love a good visual. I feel confident in my ability to attain just about any goal I set out to do but seem to just be living day to day and comfort seeking (big reason I've stuck with Releasing). I feel like I'm guided to goals but can't seem to see within myself to test my likes and dislikes before I experience a situation. It would be a huge time and effort saver to accurately know what I want before just going for something blindly. Any good insights would be appreciated.

  • #2
    Hi McNuggets!

    I'm not sure exactly what you would like insight on. We are not REQUIRED to have goals. And there is nothing inherently bad or wrong with living day by day or with comfort seeking behavior unless we think there is. IOWs do you want to change how you use your time? It's completely up to you. And yes, it does make sense to have some idea of what you want instead of going forward blindly. Sometimes it helps to clarify what we don't want. The phrase "selfish goals" may be an important clue for you. And even the phrase "unrealistic goals" may be another clue for you. And how do you feel about them not manifesting? These are words and phrases and ideas that come from you and if you allow yourself to be present with them, welcome them and anything that comes up around them, they might very well offer you the insight you are looking for.

    Warmly,
    Delilah
    [email protected]
    www.theaccordcenter.net

    Comment


    • #3
      Hey McNuggets, I'm a noob and I came here in search of something else this morning, but your topic grabbed my attention. As I get further into the course, I anticipate goal setting as being a topic I'll be looking into further, but for now let me share my thoughts on it and maybe a someone replying to your question can provide insight to both of us.

      I've read most of the way thru the book, and then purchased the main course which I'm going thru now. My intention with purchasing the course is to fill in the blanks from the book. Shame on me I guess for wanting to "understand" TSM fully before I decide the level of usefulness the philosophy holds for me. At this point, I don't see it as "the" answer, but I do feel releasing has it's place. So how does this relate to goal setting?

      I got interested in TSM when I got to a point (again) where I felt I was off track and needed some guidance. I was redoing Anthony Robbins PP2 and got finished with the exercise on goals. The next statement was something to the effect of "now that you have all these goals that motivate you..." and what hit me in the face was "motivate me? I don't give a s**t about any of this stuff! This has no motivating power for me in the least." Now I am a firm believer in goal setting, making a plan and the power it has. I really like Tony Robbins too, and I identify with personal responsibility and taking action more than any other philosophy. Loosing my focus and ambition put me in a funk that brought me here. I definitely see value for releasing, but I don't yet have a picture of how the parts all come together for me. One of the struggles I have, and therefore see the value in releasing, is stuffing or suppressing my thoughts and feelings. One of the areas I'm giving attention to specifically is "welcoming" negative thoughts and feelings. My strategy prior was rewriting them, for fear of inviting them into my life because "we become what we think about most".

      ** I have to come back and finish this, but I didn't want to take a chance loosing this by not posting it**

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi Bomber!

        What a wonderful share!

        There is no shame in wanting to understand TSM or anything else for that matter. It is completely normal and instinctual for humans to want to understand. In fact I often say to clients that something has to click, something has to resonate, to feel right, in order to proceed with any process. So again there is no shame in wanting to understand. If you notice in the book or the SuperCourse, it doesn't start out with asking people to let go of wanting to figure things out. That's because there needs to be some connection to some, some sense to what is being proffered. Letting of wanting to figure things out comes up later in the course when folks have begun to see that letting go has value and is effective in some way or some ways.

        I know this is going to sound crazy but focus and ambition can sometimes be a distraction. It's not that they don't have value but if we have set goals that we really don't give a shit about then what good are the goals? So the question becomes what do we give a shit about?

        The Sedona Method isn't a philosophy. It's a "how to" process, an internal process. It can be applied to anything and everything. It is a process that helps us to let go so that if we do have a philosophy we can better live and express that philosophy if we choose to do that.

        Negative thoughts are not the problem. It's the attachment to the negative thoughts that's the problem. We can release the attachment to them so that when they arise they have no power. If we keep releasing the attachment to the negative thoughts have less and less credibility/power. Eventually they have no power at all. And often they disappear because the bodymind has found there is little use for them. I want to be clear though, negative thoughts will occasionally come up every now and again because different situations present different challenges and challenges sometimes produce doubt. But after having lots of real life experience with releasing the bodymind effortlessly releases that too. Attachment in this instance refers to how much energy a negative thought has. In the 42 years that I have been exploring all sorts of mind phenomena I have found that releasing is one of the most powerful and effective ways to release energy that produces and sustains negative thoughts. Re-writing scenarios is useful but it is profoundly effective when accompanied with releasing. IMO, re-writing by itself is like putting icing on a shit cake. I usually say "poop cake" when I'm speaking in public but I've been having fun writing shit so I thought I'd go with it again. Adn this is what the goals process is about and for. The goals process is designed to clear out the energy or energies that get in the way of our peace, love, joy and flow. So, if we find ourselves in a funk, something that we give a shit about is being blocked energetically. That energy block is experienced as a thought or feeling or multiple thoughts and feelings that we label " a funk."

        Yes, Bomber, please come back and add to your post. It's so helpful when we do that because there are so many people around the planet who are going through the same things, having the same thoughts and feelings, have the same questions and need the same support and inspiration.

        Warmly,
        Delilah
        [email protected]
        Last edited by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach; 12-04-2018, 02:07 PM.
        www.theaccordcenter.net

        Comment


        • #5
          to continue...

          I have yet to figure out how goal setting fits in with TSM, but I'm just getting started. I have no doubt it they go together somehow. Sitting in the forest beating a drum passively waiting for what we want to just show up is not my kind of coolaid. Just kidding of course, but I think setting goals and taking action is the best approach for improving your odds of getting what you want in life, and is worth your effort. I don't think anyone would seriously advocate just blissing out and accepting whatever the universe decides to hand out, including TSM. For me, I believe in having a more active role in creating my own best life, and the sense of accomplishment that comes from it is part of the reward.

          I think having selfish goals is better than having no goals, and your goals will change as you go along. Having unrealistic goals is a different issue, but make or keep those for now as well. Maybe I'm totally off the mark. but I think we all need something to strive for.

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          • #6
            Hi Delilah!

            Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on wanting to understand. I didn't really care for the part of the recording where Hale is discussing with someone to let go of wanting to understand. Maybe I misunderstood his intention, but that is why I specifically chose the word coolaid in my last reply

            I am definitely seeing the effectiveness of releasing. Last night for example, I had the urge to snack (habit). I realized it, and released on it until I could actually feel a change about the habit, and ended up not doing it. That got me excited, not only because I didn't snack, but because I really, truly did not have the desire to snack. I didn't have to gring it out with will power, which I can do if (I think about it), but releasing is much easier.

            I'm also seeing a change regarding negative thinking, or fearing thinking negative thoughts. I think that has been a pattern of mine for decades, and a lot of energy has been focused in that direction, and I'm realizing it's maybe not been the most effective strategy. Allowing the negative thoughts in and letting them go is shifting my thinking. It's starting to sink in that they don't need to be feared. Just let them come up so I can let them go. I believe this is resulting in a decrease in mind chatter. I completely relate to having five constant conversations going on all the time in my mind, and that has decreased significantly since starting TSM.

            Another change is I seem to lose my temper very, very fast now, and sometimes burst out with it(when I'm alone of course), but then it's gone as fast as it came. I'm not sure what to make of that yet, or if it's good or bad, but I'm just letting it play out for now.


            BTW, love the shit story!

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            • #7
              Those are great gains Bomber!

              And thanks for coming back and fleshing out your process even more.

              So glad that you too are finding letting go of value!

              Best,
              Delilah
              [email protected]
              Last edited by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach; 12-05-2018, 03:11 PM.
              www.theaccordcenter.net

              Comment


              • #8
                We probably set goals all the time in little ways, like go to the bathroom, make dinner, blow nose, etc, but we don't think of them as goals. Maybe recognizing all we do as goals, albeit less formal ones, can help them to seem less alien when they're written there at the top of the page.

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