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How to let go relationship dependency?

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  • How to let go relationship dependency?

    Hi everyone!

    I'm happy to be here. I was first started to use the method last summer with success but since february I stopped and now I really feel like I need to detach from egoic things because they are grown huge..

    Now I'm in a relationship (my first one actually) since half year. Both of us act like things are good between us. But as far I can tell, it has no future since we are simply too different (I can elaborate on this if needed). The nature of our repeating conflicts are good indicators of this..
    But both of us seem to be relationship dependent. If I were in a third person position, I would yell at me to leave this relationship now. But I feel fear and lot of insecurity if I think about breaking up. However I often try to make a final decision, I can't..
    I love her truly and unconditionally but a lot of selfish possession driven emotions are present too. Also I don't want to be with her, because I feel totally limited, controlled, not free and can not do what I want, how I want...

    So... In the past I used to release using goal statements about what I would like to experience. Now I can't really come up with any clear goal actually... I can not believe that this relationship could be happy and long term, and also I don't want to break up....

    How should I release?

    Any advice is appreciated. Thank You!

  • #2
    Hi Ali!

    The advantages and disadvantages process described in TSM book is one good way to release on relationships. It gives us an opportunity to release from so many perspectives if we really throw ourselves into it. It helps us to let go of all the wants (ie feeling controlled, wanting to control or wanting to be controlled etc.) that come up in relationships. When we let go of the wants our own innate knowingness and lovingness becomes apparent and this allows us to either function more optimally with more love within the relationship or to let go of the relationship with more ease.

    Last edited by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach; 10-01-2012, 10:21 AM.


    • #3
      I like what Delilah said. You could also appreciate what a wonderful oppurtunity this conflict riven no future have to experience the full horror of being dependant on this person now relationship gives you. It's easy being a holy man on top of a mountain. Try it in a relationship.