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How long to stick with goal process before trying something else?

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  • How long to stick with goal process before trying something else?

    Hi there,

    I've been trying out the goal process lately, but I find that I end up discouraged.

    My understanding is that I state the goal and then release on the emotions/wants that arise until I feel good about the goal.

    My issue is, sometimes I release many, many, many times, and I'm still in apathy, grief and fear. Just this morning I did 52 releases on a goal and am still in grief about it.

    Do I just keep going for hours and hours? Is this just how it goes sometimes?

    Or is this a sign that it might be best to switch to something else.

    The goal process sounds great in theory but I have rarely (if ever) gotten to a place of feeling good while using it.

    Any suggestions/help is appreciated.

    Thanks!

    Cam

  • #2
    Hi Cam!

    Are you releasing on the apathy, grief and fear when they come up? Are you focusing on those reactions and allowing them to release? It's good that they are coming up because they are coming up to be released. These are the things that are in the way of your infinitude.

    Also, explore the advantages and disadvantages process to having those reactions to the goal. Ex: "What is the advantage to feeling apathy around this goal?" And "What is the Disadvantage to feeling apathy around this goal?"

    The fact that so much comes up when you release on goals tells you that you definitely should give yourself over to releasing it all no matter how long it takes. Even if it takes days, and weeks and months and years...If you let go of wanting results by a certain time or at a certain pace and just release you'll find that it might take longer than you'd like and it might take much less time because you weren't resisting your process.

    Warmly,
    Delilah
    Last edited by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach; 10-07-2015, 06:49 AM.
    www.theaccordcenter.net

    Comment


    • #3
      Cam, the thought came to my mind when I was thinking of your post, Who does this goal belong to? Is it something you want or something you inherited? (family, society, etc)

      If you're releasing and fear and grief show up, is it because you're afraid to let go of the goal? Can you welcome the feelings of apathy, grief or fear?

      I find it easier to experience, what I can only describe as, neutral but lighter, which for me is a sense of peace in my mind, about it. It's not the same as a good feeling, like a cool swim on a hot summers day, feeling. It's more like someone turned the volume down on the garage band next door, kind of ease.

      It's when I'm not concerned anymore if the goal manifest and it either will or won't and chances are something better can show up. If I'm feeling something like, yes, this is so going to happen. I find I cannot sustain the feeling and fall into no it won't. Essentially I'm free of wanting it to happen, Wanting to control how it shows up or wanting it to show up to make me feel secure or gain approval from others. Then I just notice the tension and thinking about it has shifted.

      Could you let go of wanting to feel good?

      Alex

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      • #4
        Hi Delilah - thank you for your reply

        When I did the exercise last, I was releasing on the apathy and grief... after 52 rounds I was still feeling apathy and grief, which prompted me to ask the question.

        I often experience the same thing with the advantages/disadvantages process.... I start off with enthusiasm, and then after many, many releases I find myself still stuck in a low state, I often feel discouraged and then give up at that point.

        But perhaps I need to just stick with it, and release on my feelings about the process itself...feeling like it's never going to get better, it's never going to really work for me, etc (which I guess are apathetic sentiments). It also occurred to me that wanting a certain result by a certain time is wanting control, and I could let that go.

        Alex - thanks for your comments as well. You could be right, I could be afraid of letting go of the goal. When I think of letting the goal go, I feel more grief and apathy.

        When I ask if I could let go of wanting to feel good, the answer is "yes"


        Overall I find apathy and grief to be very sticky emotions for me... I release and release and release and they don't move... I guess the only thing to do is just continue

        - - - Updated - - -

        Hi Delilah - thank you for your reply

        When I did the exercise last, I was releasing on the apathy and grief... after 52 rounds I was still feeling apathy and grief, which prompted me to ask the question.

        I often experience the same thing with the advantages/disadvantages process.... I start off with enthusiasm, and then after many, many releases I find myself still stuck in a low state, I often feel discouraged and then give up at that point.

        But perhaps I need to just stick with it, and release on my feelings about the process itself...feeling like it's never going to get better, it's never going to really work for me, etc (which I guess are apathetic sentiments). It also occurred to me that wanting a certain result by a certain time is wanting control, and I could let that go.

        Alex - thanks for your comments as well. You could be right, I could be afraid of letting go of the goal. When I think of letting the goal go, I feel more grief and apathy.

        When I ask if I could let go of wanting to feel good, the answer is "yes"


        Overall I find apathy and grief to be very sticky emotions for me... I release and release and release and they don't move... I guess the only thing to do is just continue

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi Cam!

          I agree with Alex about releasing and letting go of wanting the goal. And definitely release and let go of wanting to control your experience.

          So it sounds like one advantage to apathy is that it leads you to giving up. Look for those kinds of things so you can see how the patterns serve you and then release on them. Ex: What is the adv/disadv to giving up?

          Explore all the adv/disadv of not having the goal too.

          Are you taking any actions steps? That can stir things up nicely too and give you things to release and shake loose.

          Also, it can be very interesting to write a stream of consciousness detailed description of what your life will look like when you have the goal. Be very detailed and don't edit anything because if you don't edit you'll find out things that hadn't occurred to you. You might even find some negative things pop out "by accident". And then release on all of that.

          It's great that you followed up with this post. That seems like it might be a gain for you. You didn't give up. Don't give up!

          Delilah
          www.theaccordcenter.net

          Comment


          • #6
            I know a lot of sadness, grief comes up when we think we cannot have the goal. Letting go of wanting a certain outcome doesn't mean we cannot have it.

            Here I would ask Could I let go of wanting this goal and could I allow myself to have it instead?

            Alex

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