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Choosing the right goal

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  • Vaidas
    started a topic Choosing the right goal

    Choosing the right goal

    In the Sedona Method goal process, ideally, we should chose a goal that makes a) our heart sing and b) feels achievable.

    There are thousands of things that feel exciting to me and the gap between where I am and the goal seems too large to feel achievable. I have set a smaller goal and am working on it. But: 1. it does not feel that exciting nor does it make my heart sing, 2. the reminders of the actual, larger ("unachievable") goals are everywhere! They are taking so much of my attention day to day, as well as the fact that "I don't have them" that it's quite exhausting. I do my best to release all the feelings that come up and also spend as much time as I can working on the actual "smaller" goal. But like I said it does not feel that exciting and I seem to be spending much more energy on these "unachievable" things than the actual "realistic" goal. I was wondering if there is a better way?






  • DelilahCertifiedSMCoach
    replied
    Hi Vaidas!

    You and zannierose really did come up with some great ways to address the concerns you have about your larger vs smaller goals.

    It is always useful to use triple welcoming to allow all the internal noise and distractions to come up so that they can release and so that you can focus on your goals. And yes, it would be great if you could break your bigger goals down into smaller achievable goals. Every goal, no matter whose it is or what it is involves some action steps. Breaking the larger goal down into smaller more possible steps ( ie smaller goals) can be really helpful. Sometimes what is really in the way of the goal is resistance. It can be enormously helpful to allow any resistance to 1. Having the goal come up and 2. Resistance to any actions steps connected to the goal come up. It is surprising to discover that the heart can and will happily sing while doing really small and pedestrian things on behalf of the goal if we release any resistance around anything pertaining to the goal.

    Please keep us posted on how things unfold,
    Delilah
    Last edited by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach; 10-30-2017, 08:39 PM.

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  • Vaidas
    replied
    Thanks zannierose, that is great advice!

    Funnily I had this idea to follow-up my post with a more detailed explanation, using a house as an example. And you already did it!

    I also had a little realisation last night and decided to turn the smaller goal into a sub-goal of the bigger one. That way I do not have to put the larger goal "on-hold" while I work on the smaller one. I realised that I felt I was holding myself back from having the things I really wanted by settling for the lesser things. "Take what you want, but only take the best" as the famous Lester's saying goes.

    I do find it useful to ask myself "What is my heart's deepest desire?" as per the Financial Liberation course. I've been working on this for a while but whatever I was coming up with still felt too difficult/unrealistic to achieve to set it up as a goal.

    You are right about the smaller things, there are lots of them. I take time to enjoy them but also do my best to notice whatever else is "bothering" me. I feel it would be wrong to push down the actual lusts and desires and pretend I am happy with less when (I think that) I am not.

    At the same time I find that the question "Can I allow the possibility that I am enough and I have enough?" is a very powerful tool in resolving these conflicts.

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  • zannierose
    replied

    There are thousands of things that feel exciting to me and the gap between where I am and the goal seems too large to feel achievable.

    **I understand what you are saying.
    I had a similar conclusion when I wanted to move from a city to a home by the sea. It seemed impossible, mainly as I believed I did not have the money to do that. So I asked myself different questions, like ' what if it were actually a possibility/what if I could have that etc....and also had it as a goal, despite seeming unachievable. I also took action steps like looking for removal firms, buying moving boxes etc
    I have been living 5 minutes from the sea for 5 years .


    I have set a smaller goal and am working on it. But: 1. it does not feel that exciting nor does it make my heart sing,

    ** I wonder- could you ask your heart lots of times during the day 'what makes my heart sing ? You might notice small and large things. I now notice how much antique lace makes my heart sing.**

    2. the reminders of the actual, larger ("unachievable") goals are everywhere! They are taking so much of my attention day to day, as well as the fact that "I don't have them" that it's quite exhausting. I do my best to release all the feelings that come up and also spend as much time as I can working on the actual "smaller" goal. But like I said it does not feel that exciting and I seem to be spending much more energy on these "unachievable" things than the actual "realistic" goal. I was wondering if there is a better way?

    ** could you have an kind of abstract goal like ' I allow myself to have what makes my heart sing' rather than a goal that has a focus of a specific item etc

    Leave a comment:

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