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Isn't want to let go AGFLAP a way of wanting to control?

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  • Isn't want to let go AGFLAP a way of wanting to control?

    Hello

    One more question I had was, isn't using the three questions "could you, would you and when" an attempt to drop the emotion like Hale says dropping a pen from our hand that is tightly gripped, if yes then isn't it a way of 'wanting to control' by wanting to remove it/drop it and if that's the case do we stop using the method of releasing the AGFLAP asking the three questions - could you, would you and when and only focus on the three wants that is - control, approval and security or can we use both the methods?

    Because after the learning the second technique of releasing the three wants I get a sense that the one method of AGFLAP seems more like wanting to control kindly help

    Regards
    Nick185

  • #2
    Can someone kindly help with this?

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    • #3
      Hi Nick185!

      Excellent question!
      Sometimes releasing is used to control feelings. Releasing can camouflage resistance or wanting to control when we are not fully aware of what our intention is. The antidote to that is to welcome the feelings. So if you suspect that you are wanting to control any AGFLAP try this:

      Could you welcome ________ (fill in the blank) ?
      Would you welcome_________?
      When would you welcome________?

      Best,
      Delilah
      www.theaccordcenter.net

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi Delilah

        Thanks for your response if I am understanding you correctly is 'dropping' or letting go of a feeling not the same of controlling them? If yes how are they different

        Because from whatever I can understand you let go or drop an emotion when it's not productive or is negative hence one would have some kind of natural resistance towards them!

        Does letting go mean letting the emotion go out of your consciousness by dropping them or does letting go mean letting the emotions stay but you letting go your fixation with it? I'm very confused kindly clarify.

        ​​
        Because I remember Lester saying if an emotion has arisen you have created in your consciousness hence you would be able to remove it as well which in a way is trying to control the emotions by dropping it completely but you say we have to welcome them?

        Also the first technique of releasing AGFLAP asking the 3 questions always seemed like bringing up the emotions, feeling them and then letting them go until you can feel none of it. Kindly clarify how is it not controlling your emotions considering we are literally using it to remove the emotion from the consciousness

        Regards
        Nick185

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi Nick185!

          Remember how we talk about "no" being as good as a "yes" when answering releasing questions? We really mean this. So if you are asked if you could let a feeling go and you get a "no" for an answer, which is mentioned in all the literature and in all the recorded material, if "no" is a completely legitimate answer, how are we controlling our emotions?

          BTW, if we can't control our thoughts, how can we control our emotions? We are simply using processes of self inquiry to explore and process thoughts and feelings that come up in a fluid way and I would add very gentle way, so that we don't get stuck in a thought or a feeling. Thoughts and feelings come up all the time. We don't, er, I should say more accurately that we can't control when they appear in awareness. What ALL processes of self inquiry reveal, even those that are not TSM, is that we have no control over thoughts or feelings but we can see through them, no longer compulsively identify with them, and eventually they no longer have control of us.

          Lester always says to check and see if what I'm writing here is true. Do you control your thoughts and feelings? Do you choose what thoughts and feelings appear in awareness, or do these just appear? Are any of your thoughts or feelings premeditated? We may wish we could control them, and lots of people tell themselves they can and that they do, but is that actually true? Check and see for yourself if you choose your thoughts and feelings before they appear in awareness.

          You are not going to figure this out from a head place. It's not an intellectual process. It's a bodymind process. Pay attention to what is happening from the chin down when you are working with TSM processes. You'll start to notice sensations in the body and those sensations will tell you how the releasing is going. They might get more intense while releasing but that's because the energy of those thoughts and feelings is starting to move around and eventually, if you keep going, the sensations with subside and you will notice feeling differently from the chin down as you release. Have a look at the book or the basic foundation course to see what can happen when we successfully have a release. But more important than anything that the book or recorded material describes, pay attention to YOUR actual experience and all your questions here with be answered more directly.

          Warmly,
          Delilah
          www.theaccordcenter.net

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi Delish,

            Yes I agree we don't have control over thoughts and emotions that come but aren't we trying to control thought and emotions once it has appeared by trying to "drop" them?

            So is Sedona method a way to stop identification with thoughts and feeling so when we ask could you let it go is it equivalent to could you let go 'indentification' with this thought or feeling?
            .
            Regards Nick185
            ​​

            Comment


            • #7
              LOL! My father-in-law used to call me that when he was alive.

              It's not so much that we are trying to control our thoughts and feelings when letting go, but more just using what we do already in a conscious and intentional way. Remember, we are already letting go all day long without thinking about it. Releasing is essential to life. If we didn't let go all day we'd become ill in one way or another. Thoughts and feelings move through the bodymind all day. And we let go physically all day long when we poop and pee and burp and fart and sneeze and fall asleep, and laugh and cry etc etc etc. Again, if we are trying to control our feelings, if that is our motive for releasing, releasing is less successful. Controlling is the opposite of letting go. If we are trying to control our feelings, IOWs get rid of them, change them, etc, the antidote is to fully welcome them, to allow them to be here as much as they are, in the way that they are.

              The word identification is a concept that you can understand intellectually and that's good. However letting go is an actual activity/action we take. It's not a concept. When we allow the thoughts/feelings/energy/sensations to move through the bodymind identification with any part of the narrative effortlessly falls away. One way to turn the concept of identification into a releasing question is to ask, "Is there a feeling that any of this issue/problem/pattern/tendency/goal is personal, about you or who you are? If yes, can you find where that feeling is in the body in this moment? And then check and see if it would be OK if the feeling that this is personal, about you or who you are were to just dissolve? Welcome whatever your answer is in this moment." IOWs identification is like any other thought. It has energy and will be experienced as sensations somewhere in the body. It might be felt in more than one place in the body in any given moment. And it might not be in the same place if we check later. So paying attention to what's going on from the chin down is very helpful in supporting a release.

              Try thinking about letting go as letting go into flow,
              Delilah
              www.theaccordcenter.net

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi Delilah

                Sorry that was a typo but I'm glad it reminded you of your father in law.

                I have noticed when I let go there is a part of me that wants to let go as soon as an unpleasant feeling or thought comes up especially while using the first method of could you, would you and when? Isn't that a form of resistance and trying to control our inner state of mind?


                Regards
                Nick185

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