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The I did not allow this dirt to be there release song

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  • The I did not allow this dirt to be there release song

    It all started with the kind of flies that sometimes are in salads. Some of them froze at the back of the refrigerator which I certainly did not allow them to do. How dare they? I did not allow them to die in this way!

    And then I started to clean that up. And then there was a little more dirt there and here and… I started to get really angry and I started the "I did not allow this dirt to be there release song".

    "Could I just allow myself to hate this dirt there as much as I do? And this dirt there as well? Could I just allow myself to hate this f*ing dirt being here as much as I do? Could I just welcome this f*ing situation? Could I just hate this physical world with all its flaws as much as I do?" and so on.

    Holistic release? Nope. Not this time. It was time to just let all this hate to be here. Instead of somehow forcing myself to tape love over it. I allowed it, I welcomed it and I allowed it some more and I welcomed it some more. All the frustration with the chores of the physical world. All the frustration that I actually did not plan to do this today and the day somehow continued in a way I did not allow it to.

    And then I started laughing at the situation while feeling compassion for this body-mind feeling overwhelmed by dirt that sometimes allows itself to accumulate faster than the body-mind likes to clean it up again. I also felt compassion for the flies, even in the situation where all that anger and hate was flowing. Flies that still moved I tried to save without killing them. At least some of the time.

    Now there is peace.

    And the clear reason or intuitive knowingness that in holistic releases I do not have to force myself to feel any side more than I actually do. I do not need myself to be more loving than I actually feel like being at the moment.

    Somehow I feel that some of you body-minds can relate to what I experienced.

    Why this all is a gain? Cause in the past I would let such a experience ruin my whole day, but since I allowed what is to be here it is all gone already. I do not need to make real again what is already in the past and gone for good.

    And I even was able to allow anger and hate energy to just flow into the cleaning activity without beating myself up.

    Is it all just love in disguise?

  • #2
    Hi ananda99!

    Again, thank you for such a magnificent share and congrats on your very excellent gains!!!

    Again, yes, everything is just love in disguise.