Opinions on "cleaning up" relationships??

[cameronwilliams]

Hi Everyone,

I am interested to hear your input on the value of cleaning up relationships...ie, sharing with people your true feelings, unsaid resentments, un-expressed love, etc. Is this really necessary to do with the other person, or can I accomplish this own my onw thorugh letting go?

There seems to be a lot in self-help literature about this sort of thing, as well as in seminars like the Landmark Forum.

Any thoughts?

Thank you

[Coach Jan]

I tried sharing true feelings quite a bit.
Now I would say: Release first and the appropriate action will flow effortlessly.

Oh, and let go of wanting to figure this out first.

[cameronwilliams]

Thanks Coach Jan That makes sense to me...it's similar to the Abraham teachings, which say, don't act until you're in alignment. I will work on that.

Another question...I find I get better results with letting go of wanting approval and wanting disapproval when I just ask the questions generally, as opposed to focusing on letting go of wanting approval or disapproval from a specific person... does it matter which way I do it?

[Jack]

Cameron, I would encourage you to follow "Coach Jan's" advice. Put your energies into working with the Sedona Method and it's process. I did the Landmark courses a few years ago, and though I've only recently started working with T S M, it already makes more sense, and appears to be producing far greater results(for me)than I ever experienced with Landmark. Much more user friendly as well. Good luck with your S M endeavors.

[pixie]

You can accomplish it on your own. There is no other but as long as separation seems to be real to you, work as if it isn't, and release whatever you hold onto in order to become clean and empty.

Metaphor: if your body is dirty even if it got dirty in a game, or if someone threw a dirt on you, you wash yourself, your body, don't you? You do not require the other to do it for you unless you are a very small child. Neither do you show off your dirt to the world in order to create headlines, you simply take a shower or a bath and move on. It's exactly the same with the mental and emotional bodies. Underneath you are always a pure being.

If anything needs to be voiced to another person, it will come to you from deep within your heart during the releasing process or afterwards as a result of it, and such message-mind you- will also greatly aid the other person's healing and completing the relationship for all people involved and still concerned.

[Coach Jan]

Thanks Coach Jan That makes sense to me...it's similar to the Abraham teachings, which say, don't act until you're in alignment. I will work on that.

Remember that we're always talking about concepts. Landmark, Abraham, TSM - but what is actually here, now? TSM allows you to relate to your own direct experience, that's the power of it. So be aware when you are relating to concepts and when you are relating to your own direct experience.

Another question...I find I get better results with letting go of wanting approval and wanting disapproval when I just ask the questions generally, as opposed to focusing on letting go of wanting approval or disapproval from a specific person... does it matter which way I do it?

Do what works for you. Also be open to the possibility that what works for you may change. Letting go will feel different basically every time. Maybe you also want to experiment with noticing bodysensations while letting go.

Happy releasing,

Jan

[sunchild]

Great suggestions as always here. I would also agree with release on your own, it is very liberating and freeing. I will avoid the non dual phrasing as much as possible but will say there is no other person in reality only what arises in the now. On that concept release, release and release and discover you are already what you seek