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How does one love a Sociopath?

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  • How does one love a Sociopath?

    This is a very real question as is this personality type. If someone had shown me a chart listing the traits a female sociopath prior to marrying, I know I would have been able to identify this person and I would have avoided the hell I experienced here on earth and the trauma it has left me and our children to deal with. I've done pretty well with releasing the trauma, but I'm struggling mightedly with having nothing but love for this person.

    So, again, this is a very real question. Regardless of gender, how can someone express love for a true to life, classic sociopath?

    Thank you.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Frnak View Post
    This is a very real question as is this personality type. If someone had shown me a chart listing the traits a female sociopath prior to marrying, I know I would have been able to identify this person and I would have avoided the hell I experienced here on earth and the trauma it has left me and our children to deal with. I've done pretty well with releasing the trauma, but I'm struggling mightedly with having nothing but love for this person.

    So, again, this is a very real question. Regardless of gender, how can someone express love for a true to life, classic sociopath?

    Thank you.
    Short answer: from a distance.

    Allowing yourself to love is a gift you give yourself. It doesn't have to do with the other person.

    Loving does not mean you need to be a doormat or continue a relationship that isn't appropriate or fulfilling. It simply means being present and aware of the love that you are, the love that is natural; and having released the non-love feelings.
    Susan Seifert
    Certified Sedona Method Coach
    http://www.yoursedonacoach.com
    Register for my Free Sedona Method Support calls

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Frnak View Post
      So, again, this is a very real question. Regardless of gender, how can someone express love for a true to life, classic sociopath?
      What I do is this. I feel the love inside of me solely for the purpose of healing myself from the pain and discomfort that my thoughts and reasoning bring to me in relation to that specific situation. At first, I do not look at it as "giving love" to them, but I see it as dissolving my own illusions in the sea of love. If I do it like that, than it doesnt matter if they "deserve love" or not. See this variation: Could I just love, in this moment, without wanting to change anything? Could I just love, in this moment, without wanting it to be for a specific reason, just because I decide to do so? Would I? When?

      Regards,

      S.

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      • #4
        When I first learned about the SM, I did not understand or know one of their aims is social justice. So letting go of what that is not.....allows us to have that.

        Another aim that they mention is "sincerely improve your life".
        Anyone who experienced trauma may have also experinced the loathe of it.
        It is not a good way to function to carry that, nor any fear, as you would know.
        Letting go of all that.... allows you to uncover the deep true nature....and that deep true nature will signify some very high feelings...... that too can be let go.
        Ultimately there is freedom and the 'exquisite beauty' from within...and that too has to be discovered if thats true or not....from within, by you.

        What you discover and what you are, just is.
        Keep on keepin' on......

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        • #5
          Frnak, Thank you for this question. I read it yesterday and it is a very useful thing to ponder, and I love the answers you’ve had so far, particularly this from Santuno: "I feel the love inside of me solely for the purpose of healing myself from the pain and discomfort that my thoughts and reasoning bring to me in relation to that specific situation.”

          I don’t exactly know what sociopathic traits are, but I have experience of a close relative with severe mental health issues, and after many years of feeling triggered and reacting to her with frustration and lack of compassion, in the past couple of years that simply disappeared, thanks I think a combination of TSM and The Work. I didn’t try to love her, something inside me just softened. My experience is that the more I TRY to let go or to feel love, the less I am able to. Then when I welcome the feelings that are blocking my awareness of love, the feelings dissolve and the love remains. (I seem to need to learn this over and over again, maybe one day soon I’ll get the hang of it.) So what I suggest is be kind to yourself by allowing the feelings other than love to be welcomed, allow yourself to want to feel ‘nothing but love for this person’ and allow whatever else is there too.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Coach Susan View Post
            It simply means being present and aware of the love that you are, the love that is natural; and having released the non-love feelings.
            Thank you for that, Susan.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by santuno View Post
              Could I just love, in this moment, without wanting to change anything? Could I just love, in this moment, without wanting it to be for a specific reason, just because I decide to do so? Would I? When?
              Very nice.

              Thank you.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Kate View Post
                Letting go of all {trauma}.... allows you to uncover the deep true nature....and that deep true nature will signify some very high feelings...... that too can be let go.
                Ultimately there is freedom and the 'exquisite beauty' from within...and that too has to be discovered if thats true or not....from within, by you.

                What you discover and what you are, just is.
                Very interesting and nicely put, yet hard to follow. But you already know this, else you wouldn't have ended with; "Keep on keepin' on"!

                Thanks.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Evie View Post
                  I have experience of a close relative with severe mental health issues...

                  My experience is that the more I TRY to let go or to feel love, the less I am able to. Then when I welcome the feelings that are blocking my awareness of love, the feelings dissolve and the love remains. So what I suggest is be kind to yourself by allowing the feelings other than love to be welcomed.
                  I think this is a good point. People with mental illness are not that way by choice. My Ex is not a nice person, but again it is not that she is not a nice person by choice. For that reason, I feel sorry for her and I have to learn to forgive her for all the hurt and the trauma she causes.

                  I will give what you suggest a go.
                  ________________________________________

                  Thank you. Evie, and I thank everyone for responding. I appreciate all of your concern and sincere interest in helping. I will make it a point to refer back to your suggestions a number of times when my bad memories get the better of me.

                  Thanks again.
                  Last edited by Frnak; 06-09-2011, 12:00 PM.

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                  • #10
                    Hi Frnak

                    Thanks for the feedback.
                    "Keep on keeping on"....letting it all go......or not letting it all go.....

                    Enjoy the method and you dont have to be any particular way or not, re who ever, with the Sedona Method.
                    Just be you, which is all you're ever being anyway, and simply uncover more of that, which is already there within you anyway

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