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  • Anger

    what are release processes for anger, big anger

  • #2
    Welcoming. Holistic releasing, could I allow myself to be as angry as I am / could I allow myself to be as calm as I am.

    Then straight forward releasing... this [name situation /person] is [ticking me off/ making me angry/] Could I let it go or let some of it go right now without hurting someone or something? Could I let go of wanting control?

    Alex

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    • #3
      Originally posted by JonJonJon View Post
      what are release processes for anger, big anger
      Hi JonJonJon!

      Big anger, little anger, they release through any or all of the processes. Just insert anger into any of them and you will release.

      When someone describes something using adjectives the intention is to convey what the experience is like for them. However the flip side to that is that they themselves are quite impressed with the experience. When we are impressed with an experience we usually have some sort of attachment to it. You can insert this feeling into the attach./avers. and the adv./disadv. processes and gain a lot of release/relief and insight. It is not uncommon for folks who have "big" anger to find themselves enjoying this. Anger is very dynamic and has a lot more energy that the feelings that come before it on the list (apathy, grief, fear, lust). So see if there is any enjoyment that you are having in the experience of anger and welcome that. And see if there is any wanting to hold on to the anger.

      Also, anger can be a way to create a boundary, to create a feeling of safety. So explore wanting safety as well as the other wants.

      Best,
      Delilah

      - - - Updated - - -

      Originally posted by JonJonJon View Post
      what are release processes for anger, big anger
      Hi JonJonJon!

      Big anger, little anger, they release through any or all of the processes. Just insert anger into any of them and you will release.

      When someone describes something using adjectives the intention is to convey what the experience is like for them. However the flip side to that is that they themselves are quite impressed with the experience. When we are impressed with an experience we usually have some sort of attachment to it. You can insert this feeling into the attach./avers. and the adv./disadv. processes and gain a lot of release/relief and insight. It is not uncommon for folks who have "big" anger to find themselves enjoying this. Anger is very dynamic and has a lot more energy that the feelings that come before it on the list (apathy, grief, fear, lust). So see if there is any enjoyment that you are having in the experience of anger and welcome that. And see if there is any wanting to hold on to the anger.

      Also, anger can be a way to create a boundary, to create a feeling of safety. So explore wanting safety as well as the other wants.

      Best,
      Delilah
      www.theaccordcenter.net

      Comment


      • #4
        there is no way i enjoyed my anger. not even slightly.

        my dog was barking at 2 a.m. nobody and nothing in this world can piss me off like my old deaf dog barking in the middle of the night.

        god damn thing wont obey to any commands and neighbor's window is right above him.

        im so happy that he is now sleeping.

        - - - Updated - - -

        there is no way i enjoyed my anger. not even slightly.

        my dog was barking at 2 a.m. nobody and nothing in this world can piss me off like my old deaf dog barking in the middle of the night.

        god damn thing wont obey to any commands and neighbor's window is right above him.

        im so happy that he is now sleeping.

        Comment


        • #5
          Could you let go of making it personal? The dog barks, that's being a dog. Since the dog is deaf yelling at it to shut up isn't going to achieve much except confirming that the movement he saw is a reason to bark, if he has that margin of hearing. Commands would have to be visual if you want him to obey.

          If you can let go of making it personal, then you might consider relocating the dog. Make the dog sleep somewhere else. Where movement through the window (wind or breeze) or shadows moving past won't wake him.

          When my dog barks I tend to ignore him, no reward no point in doing it. If it goes on too long I check what he's barking at. And if there's nothing there I growl at him. Above all I let it go, I can remember he's a dog and not take it personal or I could get angry and then need to let go of that because I can think of better things than being angry.

          Alex

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi JonJonJon,

            Does getting pissed off at your dog help? Does it change anything? Do you think your dog chooses to be deaf? Do you think your dog is trying to disturb you or is your dog doing what dogs do...trying to warn of perceived danger? Your anger is really just confirming for your dog that danger is lurking and you are actually promoting more barking.

            Anger can be a response to feeling powerless. Feeling powerless is very unpleasant. Anger can be used to compensate for the powerless feeling and be "enjoyable" relatively speaking.

            You will feel much better if you release on anger than if you chronically express it. It may feel like power when you are boiling over and expressing it but this is waste of energy. People who are chronically angry are avoiding other feelings. What is under the anger?

            Start with taking time by yourself to allow the anger energy and sensations to come up. Open to them fully. They are coming up to be released. Can you let the energy of the anger come up so that it can move through the bodymind? Give yourself time to let it come up. Just by doing this, welcoming it, you will be releasing it.

            One way to see what is under the anger is to ask "If I wasn't angry right now I would be feeling _____________?" People with an attachment to chronic anger will often fill in the blank with "good, great, happy". People with an attachment to chronic anger usually have a hard time admitting that they feel fear, grief, overwhelmed, helpless, powerless. But these are the things that are usually under the anger. Chronic anger is not hiding happiness.

            Every time we release we enter courageousness. See if you can allow yourself the courage to open up and let the anger come up so that it can be released so you can see what is really bothering you.

            Keep us posted on how things are unfolding,
            Delilah

            - - - Updated - - -

            Hi JonJonJon,

            Does getting pissed off at your dog help? Does it change anything? Do you think your dog chooses to be deaf? Do you think your dog is trying to disturb you or is your dog doing what dogs do...trying to warn of perceived danger? Your anger is really just confirming for your dog that danger is lurking and you are actually promoting more barking.

            Anger can be a response to feeling powerless. Feeling powerless is very unpleasant. Anger can be used to compensate for the powerless feeling and be "enjoyable" relatively speaking.

            You will feel much better if you release on anger than if you chronically express it. It may feel like power when you are boiling over and expressing it but this is waste of energy. People who are chronically angry are avoiding other feelings. What is under the anger?

            Start with taking time by yourself to allow the anger energy and sensations to come up. Open to them fully. They are coming up to be released. Can you let the energy of the anger come up so that it can move through the bodymind? Give yourself time to let it come up. Just by doing this, welcoming it, you will be releasing it.

            One way to see what is under the anger is to ask "If I wasn't angry right now I would be feeling _____________?" People with an attachment to chronic anger will often fill in the blank with "good, great, happy". People with an attachment to chronic anger usually have a hard time admitting that they feel fear, grief, overwhelmed, helpless, powerless. But these are the things that are usually under the anger. Chronic anger is not hiding happiness.

            Every time we release we enter courageousness. See if you can allow yourself the courage to open up and let the anger come up so that it can be released so you can see what is really bothering you.

            Keep us posted on how things are unfolding,
            Delilah
            www.theaccordcenter.net

            Comment


            • #7
              well of course i'm not yelling at him when he is deaf.. he is not completely deaf but i would literally need to yell for him to hear me.

              i have no clue why he is barking waking up the whole neighborhood not letting people get enough sleep. i get out of bed, get out check everything out and i see nothing is wrong.

              i have 2 dogs outside and one of them is completely fine every time when the older one is barking.

              and i don't have problem with barking. i wouldn't have 3 dogs if that was a problem. the one in the house barks and it is loud every single time anyone enters the house. he is letting me know somebody came in or something is happening outside of the house and i'm glad he is doing that.

              its just barking in the middle of night, waking up everyone, for no reason, that gets my attention.

              sorry4my english

              - - - Updated - - -

              well of course i'm not yelling at him when he is deaf.. he is not completely deaf but i would literally need to yell for him to hear me.

              i have no clue why he is barking waking up the whole neighborhood not letting people get enough sleep. i get out of bed, get out check everything out and i see nothing is wrong.

              i have 2 dogs outside and one of them is completely fine every time when the older one is barking.

              and i don't have problem with barking. i wouldn't have 3 dogs if that was a problem. the one in the house barks and it is loud every single time anyone enters the house. he is letting me know somebody came in or something is happening outside of the house and i'm glad he is doing that.

              its just barking in the middle of night, waking up everyone, for no reason, that gets my attention.

              sorry4my english

              Comment


              • #8
                its okay now, i was angry in the moment next time i know what will i do besides only releasing on it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach View Post
                  Hi JonJonJon,

                  Does getting pissed off at your dog help? Does it change anything? Do you think your dog chooses to be deaf? Do you think your dog is trying to disturb you or is your dog doing what dogs do...trying to warn of perceived danger? Your anger is really just confirming for your dog that danger is lurking and you are actually promoting more barking.

                  Anger can be a response to feeling powerless. Feeling powerless is very unpleasant. Anger can be used to compensate for the powerless feeling and be "enjoyable" relatively speaking.

                  You will feel much better if you release on anger than if you chronically express it. It may feel like power when you are boiling over and expressing it but this is waste of energy. People who are chronically angry are avoiding other feelings. What is under the anger?

                  Start with taking time by yourself to allow the anger energy and sensations to come up. Open to them fully. They are coming up to be released. Can you let the energy of the anger come up so that it can move through the bodymind? Give yourself time to let it come up. Just by doing this, welcoming it, you will be releasing it.

                  One way to see what is under the anger is to ask "If I wasn't angry right now I would be feeling _____________?" People with an attachment to chronic anger will often fill in the blank with "good, great, happy". People with an attachment to chronic anger usually have a hard time admitting that they feel fear, grief, overwhelmed, helpless, powerless. But these are the things that are usually under the anger. Chronic anger is not hiding happiness.

                  Every time we release we enter courageousness. See if you can allow yourself the courage to open up and let the anger come up so that it can be released so you can see what is really bothering you.

                  Keep us posted on how things are unfolding,
                  Delilah
                  Great stuff once again. I'm really working on my rage with regards to parents. Wanting to kill etcetera, which is scary and causes me to suppress just to keep me from going off the rails.

                  Comes on like a tidal wave out of nowhere. And then if I don't deal with it properly it numbs over into apathy and a program of "Not good enough" and "Can't be happy or someone will knock me back down".

                  It's very interesting. I suffered panic attacks and depression for most of my life but I didn't realize how much rage I had, and consequently how much rage/violence/abuse I was exposed to at such a young age. It was all buried.

                  So many epiphanies about how I came across to other people and the signals I was sending unconsciously that brought more rage and strife into my life.
                  Last edited by grizzo; 06-28-2015, 01:29 AM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    "If I wasn't angry right now I would be feeling _______"

                    I"ve been working with that all day. Unbelievable what's coming up.

                    Just another gift I have to add to my list of Sedona Gains.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Oh that's great grizzo!!!
                      www.theaccordcenter.net

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Oh that's great grizzo!
                        www.theaccordcenter.net

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          i forgot about this problem xD

                          hm, seems like everything worked out well, my dog and me are having good relationship now. i dont remember how and when he stopped barking but i know i released the hell out of it.

                          - - - Updated - - -

                          i forgot about this problem xD

                          hm, seems like everything worked out well, my dog and me are having good relationship now. i dont remember how and when he stopped barking but i know i released the hell out of it.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Great stuff in this thread!

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