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What are the best releases VS not releasing as much as I'd like to?

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  • What are the best releases VS not releasing as much as I'd like to?

    What are the best releases for solving the issue of not releasing? It feels like more than just resistance in my way

    Long story short, I've been living in a state of tremendous and nearly perpetual apathy and grief for almost 20 years, surviving by escaping the world as best i could by delving into tv & videogames (which i basically walked away from like 6? years ago in search of a solution to my perpetual misery), and after about 4+ years of sporadic releasing with various Sedona Method programs, as well as positive visualizations, successfully used The Sedona Method to finally drag myself out of the worst of it after my last major spell of misery broke me down and forced me to truly commit the rest of my life to going free no matter what it takes. Set periods of positive visualizations of courage and love and being my best self were absolutely necessary to build/access the energies required for beginning efforts in taking correct and sustained action, though I have slipped/fallen/been dragged back into the pit of despair several times regardless of my strong intentions to fix myself and my life when setting out. Also reading Lester Levenson's Autobiography and The Ultimate Truth About Love & Happiness - A Handbook to Life and The Way to Complete Freedom were tremendously useful, practical and inspiring to me, and continue to be useful, practical and inspiring to me.

    I find myself trapped in a cycle of being unable or unwilling to release on my worldly goals and suffering as a result. I make lists of what I want, and then can't and won't release on most of the topics. I create a page on the topic I need to release on, do 2 or 3 releases and then switch to another, which I start and then stop just as fast.

    I feel very overwhelmed at times by the sheer number of goals I want for myself and their difficulty, as well as frustrated by the effort necessary to keep myself on track, and have found myself escaping from the painful emotions (eating, watching tv, listening to music), as well as becoming so exhausted I just lay down and sleep.

    Many of my goals involve improving my personal traits and behaviors so that I can have, be and do what I want in this life. (ex. traits of determination and persistence, of loving and forgiving and accepting, of being powerful and capable, etc. some of which should probably be eliminated due to being believed prerequisites for other goals when i should be selecting only the goal and not what/how i think i need to get there.)

    Issues that repeatedly appear in my way:
    not good enough
    not important
    being a failure
    self destructive tendencies and habits
    victim mentality
    attachment to negatives
    attachment to suffering
    attachment to defeat
    overall pointlessness of life itself, especially my own life and actions
    meaninglessness of the cycle of worldly existence
    pointlessness of achieving anything due to impermanence of all life & the world
    nothing matters
    being a loser
    being useless
    being pathetic
    fear of winning
    fear of being targeted
    guilt for having good things, esp because other people dont
    aversion to being depended on
    aversion to people i care about because they will use my feelings as a weapon against me or hurt me unintentionally
    having to share good things out of guilt and obligation to family/humanity
    I don't matter
    I don't count
    people pleasing & entertaining out of neediness & wanting to be loved/noticed
    not standing my ground
    fear of authority figures and the power they wield over my life
    fearing/rejecting owing emotional debts to others
    completion of anything, especially if its only for myself, because i can live without it and it doesnt really matter, even when it does
    feeling guilty about winning because others should have the good things and i can live without having what i want
    everything you own, owns you
    everything has a price tag, pros/cons, and the least of the price of good things in life is worry about maintaining the value of the good things, as well as possibly losing the good things, burdening the mind
    procrastination due to aversions to the action/result
    quitting something as soon as i get a little bit of what i wanted and having to start all over again later on
    giving up when things get hard
    giving up because it looks like it will need too much time/effort
    rejection of myself and my body
    rejection of myself for refusing to take care of my body
    rejection of myself for destroying my future opportunities by dropping out of school
    rejection of myself for not developing any skills/
    punishing myself instead of enjoying myself doing actions in my potential careers of interest (art & writing fiction)
    guilt and shame and regret over the damage done to my body from acne and rapid weight gain

    etc, etc. so much negative garbage. i just want to be done with all this negative crap.

    I want to get at their root cause, which is probably the of misidentifying my infinite beingness as the Body/Mind, but at the same time, I feel deeply troubled by it all and want to solve/release the issues so I can live as I would like to, being happy and free. But these burdens undermine me and pull me back down into the cold dark shadows.
    I don't believe this is really as complicated or as large as I am making it out to be. It's all just the in the limited body/mind and its Wants.
    But its also not just me failing to release on my personal goals. Its also me failing to do releasing, *especially* completing any releasing up to hootlessness, and on basically any/all topics, particularly the critical topics like Attachments and Aversions to thinking, worrying, doing, being, having, and on and on.

    Are there any simple goals to do Attachments and Aversions on, such as being a doer, being a winner, like & dislikes of resistance etc, that would be the most effective for starting and staying on target with goal releasing?

    I want to release on my goals and necessary topics, but find myself running away or giving up on releasing them almost as soon as I start them!

    When I get a taste of some gains towards my goals, a taste of some of the good things in life, especially socially, I find myself becoming very distracted by these worldly things. (ex. a potential mate and thinking extensively about the past interactions regarding this relationship and brainstorming (lusting and controlling) possible future interactions that never occur)

    I once even experienced moments of intense pure loving joy, as well as seeing the space between my mind and my self and being able to choose different actions from my thoughts, and then ran from it. Choosing to suffer instead? It was seriously perplexing and I have still been avoiding repeating the exercises that instigated those experiences, as well as some smaller manifestations of my goals.
    I have also failed/refused to do as my intuition instructed me to (fear paralyzed me/ran my actions instead), and let opportunities/potential mates that I manifested just disappear/evaporate instead of accepting them into my life. Unwilling and/or unable to accept them.

    What might be the best ways to get on track with following The Six Steps at all times?

    Whats the easiest and most effective way to increase desire for following The Six Steps, especially Step 1, at all times?

    Meanwhile, lacking the attainment of worldly goals causes its own pain, tearing me apart emotionally
    Living with lacking a healthy, beautiful, thin, fit body, causing aversions to sex and intimacy, and therefore cause my living with lacking the having of my mutually perfect mate & having a mutually perfect true loving sexual relationship
    As well as living with lacking independence, lacking confidence in myself, my talents, intelligence and strength, lacking social activities and meaningful friendships, lacking abundance/money/income, lacking the freedom to live as i choose to, where i choose to, means living with a lack of control over my mind/body destiny, and doing something with my life that i enjoy and matters to me and adds value and joy to the lives of others/makes a positive impact in their lives so they dont have to suffer as much as i have.
    And I seem to want this autonomy not only for myself but also to impress this non-existent ideal mate, (or to not just be rejected out of hand for coasting through life in empty work and empty activity) lmao.
    All of which is just identifying as the ego and therefore pointless, especially because all joy is from the quieting of the mind, not the attainment of the goals, should just be released, to eliminate suffering, whether or not i experience the creation of these goals.

    How much of all of this is just me spinning my wheels when I should probably just be releasing on experiencing the beingness that i am? Am I reaching too far or in the wrong direction(s)? And what do I do about making myself do what i need to, to be the freedom that I am supposed to be?

    I guess my main plan of action atm is:
    Releasing my way through all of The Sedona Method products while at work & at home

    Releasing on Attachments/Aversions & Action Steps to:
    all non-love feelings
    being a winner
    being happy
    being all-loving
    being absolutely and completely free
    being self-realized
    being responsible for all that happens to me in my life
    completing anything & everything

    being a success
    having success
    doing successfully
    achieving anything & everything
    having enough
    doing enough
    being enough
    doing anything & everything
    having anything & everything
    being anything & everything

    possible goal phrasing:

    I allow myself to always release naturally and completely with ease

    I allow myself to have permission to experience the continual state of absolute perpetual bliss in this lifetime with ease

    I allow myself to accept that I deserve to live my life from the awakened consciousness of absolute perpetual bliss with ease (beingness)

    I allow myself to always absolutely and completely love, accept and trust myself and my body no matter what

    I allow myself to always absolutely and completely love, accept and trust everyone and everything no matter what

    I allow myself to always be truly, completely and absolutely free no matter what

    I allow myself to always have everything as I need it no matter what, with ease

    I allow myself to have (and maintain) a thin, fit, healthy, beautiful, sexy body with ease

    I allow myself to have(and maintain) a mutually true-loving, sexual relationship with my mutually perfect mate with ease

    Forgive me, I'm tired and this post became more personal, more extensive and deviated a bunch from my original intent, but this cluster of nonsense has been hounding me for months/years and I need to untangle myself. Simplify, release, release on releasing, release on hootlessness, release on freedom, release on love, release on happiness, release on accepting anything positive in my life, release on thinking im this body/mind, release on abundance... just... release...on whatever is here and now... release on wanting to fix myself & my life?
    Seriously, where does it begin & where does it end? what matters and what doesn't? what will sort itself out and what needs critical addressing? If i am an infinite being and self-realization is the solution to everything, what's the best and fastest way there, and how can i make myself do it? & Then I'm right on back to The Six Steps and freedom being all that matters, except not being able to pursue it with full effort. persistence and diligence due to self-crippling programs?
    Well after writing all this crap the first thing I'm doing right now is letting go of wanting to figure it out. lol. Better late than never I suppose. sigh & lol & sigh & lol. I still experience a lot of numbness that i've been procrastinating releasing on. Sigh. And sporadic crying has been throwing a wrench into my social life, never knowing what will set me off, or when i will hit a pocket of grief that wants to release. Can i release on crying? Probably. Another issue added to the endless list.

    But yeah. I could use some outside help on this if anyone has experienced the freedom I seek and is willing to lend me a hand getting it for myself. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and sad and tired.
    So I guess this mess is what my mind looks like on paper right now.
    and I can release on thinking i have this 'problem' too.
    (I hope this hell & embarrassment I put myself through here helps someone else, somehow? lol)

    - with infinite love, Aimee.

  • #2
    Hi Aimee99!

    When someone is working on the things you have described here an extremely useful release is to explore the advantages and disadvantages process.

    Everything you wrote here can be inserted into the advs/disadvs process to be released on.

    So, just to start with, you can ask what is the adv. of apathy?
    Welcome your answer.
    What want does that arise from?
    Welcome your answer.
    Could you welcome that want?
    Welcome your answer.
    Could you let go of wanting to get that want from apathy?

    And then, ask what is the disadvantage of apathy?
    Welcome your answer.
    What want does that arise from?
    Welcome your answer.
    Could you welcome that want?
    Welcome your answer.
    Could you let go of wanting to get that want from apathy?

    When you explore these things using the advs/disadvs process you will bump into lotsof thoughts and feelings including fear and grief and anger and disapproval for yourself. These things are coming up to be released. It may be uncomfortable to allow them to come up, to "welcome" them but that's how they will release. Welcoming these thoughts and feelings doesn't mean we have to like any of the things that are coming up so much as to allow them to come up so they can release. It might be uncomfortable but if you can allow the discomfort to come up it too will release.

    Have you thought about getting some coaching help with any of this? Even just a couple of sessions can make a big difference. Sometimes there are things that we can learn about releasing in the sessions that help us in ways that we didn't know about before. If you are interested in this please feel free to send me a private message here and I will give info to get in touch we me directly.

    And lastly, yes, everything you've written here absolutely does help folks. You'd be surprised to learn how many people are experiencing the same things.



    • #3
      Thank you so very much for your kind words Delilah. I deeply appreciate any and all assistance. I definitely needed the reminder to work directly on AGFLAP feelings specifically as a whole, and to especially to allow the discomfort itself. Being so close and so deep into our experiences can be blinding. Being shared another's fresh perspective is invaluable.
      I hadn't considered coaching before but I do believe it would be truly worthwhile to do so on my most difficult issues when I'm struggling with them. I'll contact you for more details shortly.