Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Wanting to discard body-mind mechanism

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Wanting to discard body-mind mechanism

    So with releasing I arrived at these two beautiful questions:

    1) Can I allow myself wanting to discard, abandon, abolish, destroy this body-mind mechanism as much as I do?

    2) Can I allow myself wanting to keep, nuture, protect and love this body-mind mechanism as much as I do?

    I see both patterns in my life. On one side almost an obsession about healthy food, super foods and all the best I can put into my body or all what I rather leave out cause it does not serve my body. On the other side I just want to discard it. This does not appear on the side of nutrition, but on the side of how I express sexuality and what I feel attracted to in that area. And that is about as much as I dare to say here at the moment, although I start to get a glimpse that this body-mind mechanism I identify with is not the only one with some weirdness going on in that sexuality area and that I am not at all that special there. There is also the sense that this body-mind mechanism is just broken in that area, not fixable of course.

    I felt-thought the need or challenge to out-release this complex of issues, or something really bad would happen. To release quicker than I layer more kaka on top of all the kaka that appears to be there already. Otherwise I would just pile up so much kaka over me that there would not be any hope whatsoever to ever get out of this mess. I even found trying to convince myself that it is hopeless, that this is just the way I am, just to be able to stay in that pile of kaka and have fun with it for a little longer.

    Behind all of this a lot of wanting of sexuality that is truly loving, nurturing, wholesome, healthy, fulfilling and all the other good things about it. And of course a complete, loving, mutual relationship on top of it. You know, the whole package.

    Of course it was dramatic and important and all of that. On the other hand I was not all that successful with the decades long discarding this body-mind mechanism project. It is still there and quite alive, too. Might be a hint that I like to hold on to this body-mind for a little longer.

    It is progress, too. It appears to me that I released to the bottom of a destructive pattern.

    Do you have any kaka removal suggestions? And what is wrong with me even feeling a desire to have a kaka party first? To indulge in it to the maximum extent possible before I let it go? It is not that I did not have one for years already and I am also quite tired of it.

    Of course I used any of the sexuality and abuse related releases on 365 Releases already, including the beyond pain and pleasure one. At least all I found so far. Often even. And the holistic release on the body from Supercourse and other body related releases from 365 Releases as well.

    Maybe there is a shortcut? Or something else to have a go with?

    Unfortunately I was not able to attend the Sedona Retreat in Amsterdam last year. Looking forward to the next retreat in Europe. Cause I bet it would be easier to just show up and share more openly there than on this forum that could be hacked and my mail found out and then the hacker would know what I wrote and all of that scary stuff. I also registered for the Live Paraliminal Retreat in Amsterdam in April already.

  • #2
    I just noticed another trap I build myself here. How would I be free if I do not allow myself to have fun with all the destructive kaka? This body-mind mechanism seems to like it somehow. But on the other hand it just feels wrong and unholy and bad. But also detrimental to what I really like to create in my life.

    I also released a ton of hand-written pages on the relationship thing using what I learned in Effortless Creation. Up to a point where I somehow simply got fed up with it and did not even know whether I really like to have it anymore. Just not having it also does not feel good.

    Comment


    • #3
      I sense the intuition to use hearts deepest desire releases again to let of obstacles regarding my goal related work. Maybe even for hours. I just got fed up with releasing on goals, not just the relationship one. I do not really seem to know what I want anymore. I bet in some sense that is also progress. But with sometimes not even wanting any goal anymore life seems to be so meaningless to me.

      Comment


      • #4
        Why do I even feel so happy right now? It can't be that easy, can it?

        Comment


        • #5
          one remark of Hale'' that I found encouraging was to continue releasing- as we never know if this one will be the last release required on any given issue....and yes, what if discovering the happiness we are is that easy!

          Comment


          • #6
            Releases are coming in, it is short-cutting, it is doing itself. There is nothing better than releasing while body-mind is resting in warm, energized water (yep, a belief I can let go as well). All is well.

            I feel comfortable enough with sharing these two - may they help others on their journey:

            - Could I allow myself wanting to feel as unfix-ably broken as much as I do?
            - Could I allow myself wanting to feel whole as much as I do?

            - Could I allow myself wanting to be an abuse-able, discard-able beta male who can be controlled and cared for by women as much as I do?
            - Could I allow myself wanting to be a dominant, confident alpha male who knows his way with women as much as I do?
            - Could I even open up to what is beyond these two concepts, beyond these two roles?

            Yes, quite a confusion around my role as a man in a society that shares this confusion oh so well.

            Comment


            • #7
              What if, just what if there could be a relationship of partners having power with another, instead of over another?

              Amazing grace... how sweet the sound... that saved a beauty like me...

              Comment


              • #8
                yes, one of the relationship releasing questions is..'is this mutual'

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi ananda99!

                  Your question about, "a relationship of partners having power with another, instead of over another?", is a good one. And the answer is yes. In order for that to happen we have to feel worthy of this and to feel secure enough to be able to negotiate with another person who is our equal. If you check you'll find that most people are not all alpha or beta. And the most functional way to be is to be able to move from one status to another when circumstances warrant it. So, sometimes we are alpha and other times we are beta. We do best when we are fluid and can move along a continuum between two polarities. And the best relationships are made of people who can do that.

                  Lester says, "Why questions are not wise." Why are you so happy right now? Who cares? As best you can could you let go of wanting to figure that out and just relax into the happiness? Perhaps it hasn't occurred to you that it's OK to be happy. And we don't need a reason to be happy.



                  Your wrote, " I sense the intuition to use hearts deepest desire releases again to let of obstacles regarding my goal related work. Maybe even for hours. I just got fed up with releasing on goals, not just the relationship one. I do not really seem to know what I want anymore. I bet in some sense that is also progress. But with sometimes not even wanting any goal anymore life seems to be so meaningless to me." Sometimes folks find themselves in apathy as part of the releasing journey. This apathy is just the next thing coming up to be released.

                  From what you are writing here it seems that you are actually a great releaser. So see if you can allow yourself to keep releasing so that these controversies dissolve and you can allow yourself to rest as the courage, joy, peace and love that you are.

                  Warmly,
                  Delilah
                  [email protected]
                  www.theaccordcenter.net

                  Comment

                  Working...
                  X