Having trouble with rage - terror, being overwhelmed

[grizzo]

My living situation is not good. My neighbors dog use to(I'll try to think of it as a problem from the past) bark a lot. The neighbors are getting a divorce and the husband is quite volatile. I called by-law and things escalated. He eventually threatened to kill me.

I get crazy rage that is affecting my body because it overwhelms me and Im scared of losing control of it and doing something bad.
Also there is intense terror from the neighbor going through on his threat. He threatened me AFTER the police already told him he couldn't come on my property.

I want to move, but having trouble maintaining day to day, let alone going through a move(although I am renting and single so it is possible). Ive been relesing for years but this situation is really hammering me.

Ive been working with letting go of wanting to change, and welcoming resistance. Everytime the dog barks though I get set off.

[grizzo]

This thread is actually helping.

https://community.sedona.com/blogs/d...find-apartment

[zannierose]

glad to see you have found something useful...good luck with your on going releasing. I get annoyed by noises from neighbours and recently I have simply been sitting with the sensations in my body when I get annoyed . It is a relief to do this, without the agenda of wanting them to be quiet. The noise from a house renovation is now not bothering me so much. I acknowledge the times when I want control etc.

[DelilahCertifiedSMCoach]

Hi grizzo!

Yes, I agree with zannierose, it's good that you found a thread that is helping.

First remember that releasing is an internal process. If you have a sense that you are in danger it is appropriate to take right action. It is not a failure to get an "order of protection" if necessary.

When things become intense as it sounds like they have, that is when we are being invited to go even farther into releasing. Welcoming is such an amazing way to process rage, terror and overwhelm. See if you can allow all the feelings to come up at a pace and an intensity that feels safe to you. You can let a little come up at a time so that the feelings don't further overwhelm you. Think of just letting a drop come up. And then see if that's tolerable. And then another drop and see if that's tolerable. Keep doing this and little by little discomfort will release. If you do this you likely will feel less overwhelmed. And you will have more clarity and groundedness to determine if taking legal action is needed. Lester talks about using all disturbances as an invitation to let go. Welcoming is the second most fundamental way to let go and can really help to give us space inside for the calm and peace that is always here to be experienced directly. So see if you can use the dog bark as a moment to be with yourself and the sensations that you are calling "get(ting) set off." Also, notice what the breath is doing. When we get set off we tend to suck in the breath and hold it in. Notice if that is happening and see if you can allow the breath to do what it wants to do without trying to control it. If you simply follow the breath, even if it is really shallow at first, if you simply allow it to do what it wants to do, it will go back to breathing itself effortlessly and will also help to support release.

Keep us posted on how things go,
Delilah
[email protected]

[grizzo]

Thankyou. The neighbor hasnt come near me since. The dog is quiet or maybe they got rid of it.
Still working on moving but the overwhelm isnt happening as badly. Thanks for both replies!
Sincerely Grizzo

[zannierose]

Anrika gave me a helpful goal re a new home...'I allow myself to have the best home for me'.

Great news that things have improved

[grizzo]

Hi grizzo!

Also, notice what the breath is doing. When we get set off we tend to suck in the breath and hold it in. Notice if that is happening and see if you can allow the breath to do what it wants to do without trying to control it. If you simply follow the breath, even if it is really shallow at first, if you simply allow it to do what it wants to do, it will go back to breathing itself effortlessly and will also help to support release.

Keep us posted on how things go,
Delilah
[email protected]

Great stuff!

[grizzo]

Ive been able to let go of wanting to change(I find this technique very effective, especially in "extreme" situations or feelings) a lot of things and have been diligently releasing on this whole scenario. It's helped take the overwhelming aspect off and has allowed me inner room to do the clean-up procedure on the neighbour as well as let go of resistance to barking dog.

I set a goal of having the perfect place to live and wrote down some individual characteristics that I released on and two times very similar if not almost exact places came up but they weren't perfect and revealed some more aspects that I needed to narrow down what I wanted in a living space, but it was eye opening the power of this technique and my mind(and beingness).

Im going to see if its possible to release to the point where I feel completely safe about the neighbour and even love him. Ive been able to do this on another "enemy" who I turned into a friend.

This whole thing has brought huge connected threads of agflap to the surface that were all connected to past issues so its actually been wonderful in a way, although at certain times my mind would say I was in hell(until I released more)

[ananda99]

grizzo, thank you so much for sharing this. I can perfectly relate to the choice of having a quite and safe home and to overwhelm issues.

Great to see how you made progress on that topic.

Letting go of wanting to change to deal with overwhelm is a great idea.