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  • Release on a new house

    Hi!

    I live in a cramped apartment with wife and a 2 year old child. Its not really working living there and we feel that its becoming increasingly difficult as the child gets older. We dont really have large living space. What is the most effective and quickest way to release on getting a house?

    thanks!
    Rob

  • #2
    Annike suggested the goal ' I now allow myself to have the best home for me.' I wonder if that would be a useful place to begin.
    good luck

    zannierose

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi robbiezen!

      Yes, zannierose is correct. A good place to start is to create a goal statement like the example she offered and release on that. If that statement doesn't resonate with you then find your own words using the guidelines in the book or workbook. All of the processes are equally effective and expedient. It is however helpful to know that when we want to rush our process we tend to slow it down by getting in the way of things unfolding. Let go of wanting to rush as best you can. And give yourself over to releasing as fully as you can so that you can get out of the way of things unfolding in the best way possible.

      Keep us posted on how things unfold,
      Delilah
      theaccordcenter@gmail.com
      www.theaccordcenter.net

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you Zannierose!!



        DELILAH:
        Oh sweet Delilah, its been a while since we last chatted here. I have heard it said here in releasing community that we must let go of desire of anything we want. That we must come to a place that it is ok with us whether we get the goal or not. Now, this has been an enormous challenge to me. I must be honest and say that it would NOT be Ok with me whether I get the goal or not. It is not very good for this family to live in this small place where frustration and bad habits thrive. I really dream of a house. It is the primary goal in my life now. I can really buy into the "losing the desire" part of a goal, because it is way better to HAVE your goal realised in your hands than constantly dreaming and yearning and desiring it, thus pushing it away. But in doing that, what if I lose the interest in having the house? Do you see what I mean? By getting rid of the desire and getting to a place where its ok with me if I get the house or not, what if I lose the interest in a new house?? I do NOT want to get to a place where its ok if I get the house or not, I don't wish to lose the interest and drive to achieve the goal. Having a house for this family is really priority number 1, and its not just an ego thing, but a real concern for this family, and we are not living optimally here.






        Comment


        • #5
          Hi robbiezen!

          I think you might be confusing imperturbability with apathy. When we are apathetic we have lost interest in things. When we are imperturbable we are open, curious, energetic, enthusiastic, ready, creative, joyful etc.

          Warmly,
          Delilah
          theaccordcenter@gmail.com
          www.theaccordcenter.net

          Comment


          • #6
            Dear Delilah!

            Sorry for late reply! Its been crazy here, forgot totally about it


            I have listened to release talks about people who for example set Money goals and released their feelings about it. It just doesnt compute with me... Your answer was brilliant about how we do NOT lose interest in our goals when we become imperturbable about it, but instead become curious and open and all.

            But could you please expand some more on why we do not lose interest in our goals when we become imperturbable about them. My mind is driving me crazy still, and says to me that if I release all feelings about the goal, then I will lose the interest and urgency to move out of the apartment, and I will stay stuck in my apartment for long time to come!


            Love
            Rob



            Comment


            • #7
              Why is no one replying? Is this not a help site?

              Rob

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi robbiezen!

                For some reason your last question didn't show up in the new post pages. If you don't hear from someone please do what you did and push for an answer.

                OK, so another way to think about this is to make a fist with one of your hands. And then squeeze it really tight, like ? How does the new house find its way into your hand? And how does the hand do what it needs to do to find that house? Can it do research online, can it make phone calls? So, not only is there no way for the house to come in when we're closed up tight inside but holding on tightly doesn't actually help us to take the action steps to accomplish our goals.

                Best,
                Delilah
                theaccordcenter@gmail.com
                www.theaccordcenter.net

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hey Delilah!

                  I am sorry, I didnt know last post didnt show up!!

                  Thanks for your answer! It really helped me in my understanding... it helped me to a certain extent.... I am going to digest what you wrote Delilah...

                  In the words of Arnold .. ”I’ll be back...”


                  love Rob

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by robbiezen View Post
                    But could you please expand some more on why we do not lose interest in our goals when we become imperturbable about them. My mind is driving me crazy still, and says to me that if I release all feelings about the goal, then I will lose the interest and urgency to move out of the apartment, and I will stay stuck in my apartment for long time to come!

                    I'm still very new to this so don't take my word for it, but I have some thoughts on this.

                    Firstly that “stuck” is just a story your mind comes up with. It sounds like a fear that can be released. How can “stuck” possibly be true when who you really are is limitless awareness? “Stuck” is a story about an “I”.

                    Secondly I've thought a lot about this question of whether releasing a goal means we lose interest. And I think I have an answer for it, at least through my own experience so see what you think.

                    When we're wanting something, we want it because we think we need it for some reason. There's a yearning, lacking sort of feeling. We're under the misconception that we aren't complete as we are, and need something to complete us. This is an illusion of course. When we release that, we find that we were never lacking anything.

                    But there's a second reason to have a goal. Have you ever pursued something because it was just fun to pursue it? Not because you needed it but just because it sounded like a good idea? I love the story from Lester of how he decided to be a millionaire, just because he wanted to show that he could, and so he did. He didn't need it, it just sounded like a good idea.

                    It's a sort of playfulness that starts to shine through as we become more of who we are. You no longer want the bigger house because you “need” it, you want (not the best word) it because it sounds fun to create, you'd like the new experience of it. It's a creating from abundance, not from lacking. It's a creating from joy, not from need.

                    As long as you feel like you need it, you're holding it away because wanting is lacking. But when you can be imperturbable about it, then perhaps you create it just because it sounds like a good idea. Or, if it was all based on fear and need, then maybe the desire disappears altogether.

                    I find that this is where some teachings from Abraham-Hicks fit in really well. TSM is great for getting us to imperturbability, and Abraham is great at discussing creating from joy. Their techniques aren't great for dealing with neediness, which is where TSM fits in. So I find them very complementary.

                    Just my 2¢ for what it's worth.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hey!

                      Thanks for sharing! I read what you had to say very carefully. You laid it out in a different angle which I hadnt thought of Before - creating out of fun and not need. I hear you, I really do...


                      Nevertheless, I feel stuck, I really do.

                      You said: "
                      When we're wanting something, we want it because we think we need it for some reason. There's a yearning, lacking sort of feeling. We're under the misconception that we aren't complete as we are, and need something to complete us. This is an illusion of course. When we release that, we find that we were never lacking anything."


                      well, I do feel like I need a house. We are lacking a new home - and that is not a story of the mind, it is a cold hard fact.
                      You see, it is not optimal for us to live cramped together. Our 3 year old boy is growing and he doesn't even have a door to his room. It is adjacent to the small livingroom. I really feel desperate. And there is no Money for a new home. I don't even have a job.

                      I am so struggling with this needy lacking feeling... but I can not fool myself…. I don't feel like I am capable of creating a bigger home out of fun without coming from lack. Who am I fooling here..

                      The harsh reality is that our current small apartment has really served its purpose, it has served its time, and it is time for us to move on, but I really wish the universe could also see that and make it happen.

                      The Point I am trying to make is that we don't function well as a family as it stands now. And we all fall into bad habits and etc, because of living in agflap in this apartment that is not really meant for a small family. Our current home is a breeding ground for frustration and negativity. We need to move on... and there is that Word again "need".... I just can't help it...


                      Please help...


                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi robbieszen!

                        Devbanana's comments were right on point. You said he laid out a different angle. He offered a different perspective. That perspective will get you to where you want to go more quickly if you allow it.

                        Is it really true, that your story about a new bigger house is a cold hard fact? Or are those just thoughts that are running around in your mind. Do you really believe that "bad" habits change because there's more room in a house? Could you be open to the possibility that this is just a thought but isn't at all true? Could you be open to the possibility that these thoughts are coming up to be released? Perhaps you're focused on a house instead of habits? And perhaps you're focused on a house instead of money? Or a source for money? Can you be open to releasing on all of these so that you can really be free to have, do or be what you want to have. do or be. And you're right, we don't manifest from lack very well or easily. So could you let go of the lacking feeling? Would you if you could? When would you if you could?

                        One way to release on lack is to welcome the lacking feeling fully so that it releases fully.
                        And often that opens us up to noticing all that we do have. Noticing what we do have and noticing what it feels like to have, and welcoming the having feeling opens us to having doing and being with more ease.

                        Warmly,
                        Delilah
                        theaccordcenter@gmail.com
                        www.theaccordcenter.net

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Delilah, thank you very much…. The questions you offered are going to be very helpful. I'll work on them.


                          But, thoise thoughts you speak of sure feels true…. they are like leaches stuck on my mind...






                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Heyyyy robbiezen!

                            I was just thinking about you earlier today and wondering how you were doing. I see that you've courageously showed up for yourself. That is a really huge gain!!

                            Letting go of thinking we know what the obstacle is or what the problem is can be completely freeing. Lester asks, "Could you let go of wanting to be so smart and let it be something other than what you think it is?" I can not even begin to tell you how this question helps me.

                            I just want to be really clear. You don't have to give up your goal for a bigger house. It might be very helpful if you looked at the situation from many different angles. RElease on evry angle you can think of and that's when the magic happens.

                            Warmly,
                            Delilah
                            theaccordcenter@gmail.com
                            www.theaccordcenter.net

                            Comment

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