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Released all sexual desire, how do I get it back? :)

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  • Released all sexual desire, how do I get it back? :)

    Hey Sedona Community, A bit of background first.


    I have struggled with depression since a very early age. My best guess is that it started around the age of 11-12, where I started questioning the purpose of life and ended up with the answer that there was no really good answer for it, and there was no meaning to it all. That coupled with intense feelings of guilt and always being/doing wrong things, led to a defense mechanism of whenever I met negative feelings, I would supress them with the thought of "it has no meaning any way, why bother feeling bad".

    Later at the age og 26-27 I discovered, surprise surprise, that I apparently were clinically depressed. I had no idea and thought that pretty much everybody where living their lives feeling the way I did.
    This forced/allowed me to actually start looking at my feelings and emotions, for really the first time ever. I proceeded to read the "Power of Now" by Eckhardt Tolle, and later down the road found the Sedona Method, which I felt were a bit more applicable, along with some mindfullness retreats/course, I have been releasing for the last 7-8 years, Im 34 now.

    In the beginning, when I moved my consciouness into my body, I was only able to hold it there for a second or two, before the pain, fear and apathy pushed me out again. Now a days, I can stay there for however long I want, its still unpleasant, but much better. All in all, I have been really happy with releasing, and sure that I am moving in the right direction, however long it might take.


    Now for the actual topic:

    I seem to have completely let go of my sexual desire/energy. Whenever I used to bring my thoughts in a sexual direction, I was always able to get aroused, very easily and for long period of times. It seems that I have released that part of me, during the last couple of days. It was not really deliberate, and I am freaking out slightly, as I seem to have no sexual desire or energy in my body.

    Now, I am having thoughts, regarding if that is actually the way its supposed to be, that you do away with your lust and desire and just dont have sex. Although that is not very appealing to me.
    I have been reading a bit on the forum, regarding sexual energy, and the impression I get from the instructors and others is that a healthy sexual side of life, is something that is not mutually exclusive to following the Sedona Method and releasing.

    What I think/hope is happening:
    I have released the sexual energy that I have been holding on to in my body, which was intertwined with alot of other feelings as well as resistance.
    Now that I have released it, there seems to be only apathy left (by far my most dominant feeling, but also the hardest one for me to actually realise/release on, as it has become so much of a second nature for me, that I have a hard time really distinguishing it.). As apathy is the main thing left, not much sexual energy is created/circulated in the body, and Im left with the feelings of no sexual desire.

    Any thoughts on how to get the sexual energies flowing again? Do I just need to power through the apathy?

    I guess my true hope with this post is some sort of confirmation that I have not just done away with my sex-life for good, and that there is some "light at the end of the tunnel" for it..



  • #2
    Hi nsd!

    Apathy is just the next thing that is coming up to be released. So keep on releasing.
    Apathy and depression can affect sexual energy so keep on releasing.
    You might use the list of words under the heading of Apathy to get things going for your releasing.
    See which of those words resonate for you and release on each one until you feel more energy moving through the body mind. Also, explore and release on the other headings and list of words in AGFLAP because Apathy can be covering over other feelings. Sometimes allowing anger/grief/fear to come up can release the Apathy simultaneously.

    Warmly,
    Delilah
    www.theaccordcenter.net

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