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cajole yourself to get deeper into the emotion & other question

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  • cajole yourself to get deeper into the emotion & other question

    I want to get rid of the emotions (lies) from a relationship. It's easy to get into the feeling of the actual emotion (anger, sadness) about what happened and I can release. However these emotions keep coming back. And I am so done with them. How come I keep wondering what I was lied about? Everytime I read an email or think bad about a certain event in the past these feelings keep coming back. I assume that after a while things get better. Do I need to get into the actual feelings before I release or would I think about the details. I realize this sounds like a silly question. But when I think about the details I keep coming up with 'could this have happened' or 'would my spouse have lied about that too?'.
    I want this behind me so badly, I need the day where I take a deep breath and feel that it's behind me.

    Also, in the same context. I feel that I am getting stronger now. I have a sense of proudness that feels like an anker that keeps me going. I want to hold on to that but at the same time it also reminds me of what was in the past. Can I rely on my gut feeling that at one point things will settle down and I can release on that proudness as well?

    I want to trust again. Because I want to love again. It feels so far away in the future but wonder how releasing to get trust back would look like. Maybe I know the answer but feel that this is all so fresh I can't believe it is actually out there. I feel such an idiot that I have let it come to this level in my life, I consider myself well educated but let love run away with my gut feeling....

  • #2
    I want to get rid of the emotions (lies) from a relationship. It's easy to get into the feeling of the actual emotion (anger, sadness) about what happened and I can release. However these emotions keep coming back.

    ******** I have heard Hale say that it is more layers coming up , rather than them coming back. *****

    And I am so done with them. How come I keep wondering what I was lied about? Everytime I read an email or think bad about a certain event in the past these feelings keep coming back. I assume that after a while things get better. Do I need to get into the actual feelings before I release or would I think about the details.

    *** letting go of feelings is great. ****

    I realize this sounds like a silly question. But when I think about the details I keep coming up with 'could this have happened' or 'would my spouse have lied about that too?'.

    ********* I wonder if it would help if you noticed if there is any trying to figure things out , and could that be released?
    and if you go into this mire- it might be helpful if you took it to the wanting and let that go as well ***



    Also, in the same context. I feel that I am getting stronger now. I have a sense of proudness that feels like an anker that keeps me going. I want to hold on to that but at the same time it also reminds me of what was in the past. Can I rely on my gut feeling that at one point things will settle down and I can release on that proudness as well?

    ** Well, there is a lot under 'pride' in the table of emotions- and I understand there is a lot more energy available from the level of pride. ****

    I want to trust again. Because I want to love again. It feels so far away in the future but wonder how releasing to get trust back would look like. Maybe I know the answer but feel that this is all so fresh I can't believe it is actually out there. I feel such an idiot that I have let it come to this level in my life, I consider myself well educated but let love run away with my gut feeling...

    *** Have you done a clean up on the other person ? **.

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    • #3
      Hi 2dimples!

      "However these emotions keep coming back. And I am so done with them." If the feelings are coming up then that's what you release on. The comment that you are "so done with them" shows that you are resisting them...yes? So, just keep welcoming the resistance and the feelings and they will release.

      The mind is always wondering what, why ,when. Those are just thoughts coming up to release. Keep letting go of wanting to figure things out and everything that you need to know, understand etc will present itself to you effortlessly.

      Also, sounds like there is a lot of disapproving of self going too. Can you welcome any disapproval for "let(ting) love run away with my gut feeling..."? Can you let it come up so that it can release? IOW, welcome it and then check and see if you can let it go. if you get a no, welcome the no and then keep welcoming it up. Welcoming is a very powerful way to release. Disapproving of oneself makes it hard to trust oneself or others and to love oneself or others. When you let go of the disapproval and feel love for your self for everything you think you did wrong (and everything you did right) then you will be able to love others.

      Please keep us posted on how things unfold,
      Delilah
      www.theaccordcenter.net

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach View Post

        . Keep letting go of wanting to figure things out and everything that you need to know, understand etc will present itself to you effortlessly.
        Originally posted by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach View Post
        Welcoming is a very powerful way to release. When you let go of the disapproval and feel love for your self for everything you think you did wrong (and everything you did right) then you will be able to love others.


        Delilah
        I read your reply this morning and I took a long walk in the local nature park. It's nice to get to that feeling of emptiness after releasing and feeling that it works. And I had to think about what you said Delilah (and that's what I took the walk for. I will keep you posted, thank you guys for providing this insight.
        (shame I don't know any of you guys but still have such a sense of gratitude to your help!)
        The Irving Nature Park is a 600 acre (243 hectare) site created by J.D. Irving, Limited (JDI) to help protect an environmentally significant area.
        Last edited by 2dimpels; 09-10-2017, 04:53 PM. Reason: tried to make the link less present but it wouldn't let me

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi 2dimpels!

          You do know all of us! Lester says, "Talk about me, talk about you, what's the difference?" We are all one. <3

          Glad you find the forum of value.

          Warmly,
          Delilah
          www.theaccordcenter.net

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by DelilahCertifiedSMCoach View Post
            Hi 2dimpels!

            Lester says, "Talk about me, talk about you, what's the difference?" We are all one. <3

            Glad you find the forum of value.

            Warmly,
            Delilah
            I do. I really appreciate the help.
            Releasing is a string of very lonely personal victories. Every victory ends in a void of nothingness, a fresh start. I am starting to cherish that void, just like how I recognize the emotion it began with. A small ball of dough that I can bake into a bread or not use at all. I have baked a lot bread in the past. Now I'm stuck with a lot of dough.

            Comment


            • #7
              I do want to ask if releasing is instant. I was so angry this afternoon and I tried to release. But the emotion was so strong that it kept coming back and only when I started to talk to others online (hoping to feel normal again) I had to ask myself 'will this keep going on like this'. It's a miracle I feel a lot better now (I even cry over it for happiness) but I wish I could let things go instantly after releasing. Or trying to three or four times. But sometimes I'm so angry and frustrated the dark cloud seems so thick.

              A little later...
              I feel so much better now. I guess that when you have 25 years of a certain amount of questionable things (i.e. a shitty relationship) it's not released as quick. It needs time. It hurt. And it hurts over and over again. But I should recognize the hurt first (see it as a ball of dough - something that I made up to see the emotion as a whole). And I guess I was going through that earlier today. When that is over I can actually say 'do I really need this? Can I let it go? When?'
              Last edited by 2dimpels; 09-15-2017, 02:17 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                I noticed today that individual rejections built up to frustration. For example I contacted my local bank for a technical issue and the rep didn't understand what my problem was. Because I was at lunch break and didn't have the time I hung up while on hold but that instance still kept coming back in my mind. I should have released it then and there. But I thought 'I will call back later and solve the issue'. But I didn't release.
                The second issue arose when I tried to pick up on a certain event I wished to attend once every two weeks. When I contacted the people in charge it appeared there was no more such event. I was dissappointed about that. But it felt so trivial and figured 'I'll find a way to get to it" and because it felt not relevant I didn't release.

                However, looking back at the numerous rejections I feel I have faced in the past, these two added to the large number I had to deal with. And this led to my frustration yesterday. I ended up chatting with a friend and making some notes about what was buggin me until I released and slowly I came back to earth (see above).

                Today started new in a sense that I should pay more attention to the emotions when they are there. And at the very moment they occur. That didn't feel like a rejection but more like a revalation. I ended up in a conversation with my spouse after all this happened and there was
                not
                a
                grain
                of
                frustration

                none what so ever

                This is all so new to me, there are big blobs of peace in me. I'm not there yet but I'm growing. I should be more patient, with myself, I see there is development possible that I can control. It's a bit scary and I laugh for no reasons one and while now because I see the potential my spouse must think I stepped out of a Stephen King story.

                Of course I haven't been sharing much about my past here but I hope there is someone out there going through the same thing and will get a grain of hope. I am still uncertain what my role is all this frustration in my relationship and when I have figured that out I will make a decision whether I want it to continue. I have hope and see the good things. But I see the good things also with myself. I'm changing. Getting stronger.

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