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Thread: Question about releasing the 3 wants

  1. #1
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    Question about releasing the 3 wants

    Hi,
    I have questions about releasing the 3 wants - approval, control, and security according to TSM.
    These questions may have been asked/answered before and I apologize to repeat them if that's the case but I'd appreciate it if you could answer them again.

    (1) Is it preferable to use these words? Sometimes other synonyms are more "fit." in context. For example "wanting to be liked" "wanting to change something" "Wanting to be protected" etc. The differences are small but they can make a big difference when it comes to feeling "Yes! It is exactly what I'm wanting." if you know what I mean. Is it OK to adjust the words?

    (2)I understand these are the "umbrella wants" meaning there are other wants under them. Is it always better to go up to these 3 wants? For example, I have a tendency to "wanting to be understood" and "wanting to be right." They are probably each under "wanting approval" and "wanting control." But when I use "approval" or "control" for them, I can't really feel these wants. For example, in the big picture I probably want control by wanting to be right, but I can't "feel" it's coming from there. Is it as effective if I say "Could I let go of wanting to be right?" etc. instead of going up to "control"? Or is it better to use the 3 wants maybe because the subconscious somehow understand the bigger picture?

    Thank you!
    Last edited by terrym; 03-18-2017 at 08:40 PM.
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  2. #2
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    In your example "wanting to be liked" why do you want to be liked, is it for security, approval, control? It can be one or all. Pick the reason behind your wanting to be liked.

    You'll notice it doesn't matter if you say "I want more money, I want a house, I want a car." Behind each want is another reason for that want. So you say I want more money and ask does it come from wanting approval, control or security. So you're not only releasing the apparent want you start releasing on the unseen part of the wants that hold us back.

    So yes let go of wanting more money, just have a look where that want comes from as you let go.

    Alex
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sedona Training -- Alex View Post
    In your example "wanting to be liked" why do you want to be liked, is it for security, approval, control? It can be one or all. Pick the reason behind your wanting to be liked.

    You'll notice it doesn't matter if you say "I want more money, I want a house, I want a car." Behind each want is another reason for that want. So you say I want more money and ask does it come from wanting approval, control or security. So you're not only releasing the apparent want you start releasing on the unseen part of the wants that hold us back.

    So yes let go of wanting more money, just have a look where that want comes from as you let go.

    Alex
    Hi Alex,
    Thanks for your reply

    I used "Wanting to be liked" as the synonym for "Wanting approval" and thought they were quite similar.
    Yes it could be that I want to be liked because I want control or security.
    But if you think of that, wanting "approval" "control" can also come from the other 2 wants.
    I want control so that I can have security, I want approval so that I can control (the person or situation).
    Actually it seems like "wanting security" is the highest of the wants, and all the wants can go up there, like "everything is for survival=security."

    So it means if I pick "control" and release, then it's better to ask myself "where does this wanting control come from? isn't it security? approval?" and so on?
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  4. #4
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    Just release. You can release on all versions of the wants. In that moment it might be wanting control. Release. As again it might now appear approval dominates, release, Then ask again, control might show up again.

    None of that means you're doing it wrong. You're just removing the layers. Some have the same feeling or tint. Just with every want there is often many layers.

    Alex
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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sedona Training -- Alex View Post
    Just release. You can release on all versions of the wants. In that moment it might be wanting control. Release. As again it might now appear approval dominates, release, Then ask again, control might show up again.

    None of that means you're doing it wrong. You're just removing the layers. Some have the same feeling or tint. Just with every want there is often many layers.

    Alex
    Thanks Alex.
    Usually the three wants don't arise unless I specifically look for them if I'm to use these three words(approval, control, security).
    I don't feel "wanting approval" but "wanting liked, loved", I don't feel "wanting to control" but "wanting to change what is" etc. (the synonyms question).
    Also I feel "wanting to be right" but don't feel "wanting to control" from that unless I logically think of that.
    If I just release these wants (without using "approval" "control" "security"), yes they do get released.

    But I have this question because the SM talks about "Approval" "control" and "Security" and check which one my want is coming from.
    Are you saying I don't really have to go through this process?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Sedona Training -- Alex View Post
    Just release. You can release on all versions of the wants. In that moment it might be wanting control. Release. As again it might now appear approval dominates, release, Then ask again, control might show up again.

    None of that means you're doing it wrong. You're just removing the layers. Some have the same feeling or tint. Just with every want there is often many layers.

    Alex
    Thanks Alex.
    Usually the three wants don't arise unless I specifically look for them if I'm to use these three words(approval, control, security).
    I don't feel "wanting approval" but "wanting liked, loved", I don't feel "wanting to control" but "wanting to change what is" etc. (the synonyms question).
    Also I feel "wanting to be right" but don't feel "wanting to control" from that unless I logically think of that.
    If I just release these wants (without using "approval" "control" "security"), yes they do get released.

    But I have this question because the SM talks about "Approval" "control" and "Security" and check which one my want is coming from.
    Are you saying I don't really have to go through this process?
    www.sedona.com Home of the Sedona Method
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  6. #6
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    Trust me, try to name the want in terms of control, security, approval. Once I did that enough I had a huge break through with releasing and releases moved down from the head.

    Alex
    www.sedona.com Home of the Sedona Method
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